check this one Mule

So when I first got hired at Canada Post, I had to go to Letter Carrier school. I was very excited. Living in poverty on welfare fresh out of a bad gig as a stereo salesman, I would have done anything to make some money let alone become a postal worker.
That's why I took the letter very seriously. It said that I should appear in a blue shirt, a blue tie, and blue dress pants. I think I had about $16 to my name so I went to the Salvation Army thrift store to get me my uniform. It was cheap and polyester.

So when I showed up for letter carrier school, I walked in with bleach blond hair (happened before), and my new pants shirt and tie. My new colleagues were all around, every one of them in casual track pants and comfortable t shirts... a small bead of sweat ran down my temple as I sat in the hot room, feeling the tie pressed firmly against my Adams apple.

It didn't take long for the back of my legs to have a violent allergic reaction to the polyester. I had to make 3 trips to the bathroom so that I could stand pant less in the stall allowing the back of my legs to get some air... this was getting ridiculous... so I had a master stroke of genius.

I would simply take long strips of toilet paper and tuck them into my underwear so they would hang down and protect the back of my legs from this insanely stupid fabric. I walked very carefully back to class and sat down with a heavenly comfort. So much in fact I forgot about the whole problem.

The problem resurfaced much later when we were on our walking tour of the plant... there was some giggling going on behind me... I though stay away from those fools; As a Robertson I am drawn to tomfoolery and it will only make me look stupid to my new employers. I took a deep breath and carried on but… what was that out of the corner of my eye... something long and white extending from my pant leg trailing a few feet behind me.

S Robertson in a bad shirt and tie, blue pants and 2 long toilet paper trailers extending from each pant leg walking around the mail processing plant thinking he's pro.