So there was this form that the school sent home to give parents input about some grade destructing that is set to happen next year.
The form asked a few questions to which I was to agree to or not. I didn't feel represented by any of the options i was given, and so briefly i kind of lost my mind and decided to go, as they say... "rogue".
I don't necessarily agree that one method of learning is inherently better than another across the board and it irritates me that we get boxed into positions, drawing lines in the sand over these issues.
So i put some stuff that came out of me at the time, in ink, all over the lone form we have for the twins that is due tomorrow.
Good news for me, is that we have my wife who is a more sane and expert communicator than myself... "more" would be an understatement for sure come to think of it.
Bad news for me, is we only have one form. For a very brief time I thought my points were valid and I strutted into the room and announced "do you think this is insane?"... and then read what I just wrote, seeing for the first time that it is awfully clunky, terribly misguided, grossly ineffective and rather blindly arrogant. I kind of had my head down to read over the parts i had scratched out... when i looked up, there was a mixture of confusion and horror on my wife's face.
Obviously we can't hand that form in... i might keep it just to remind myself not to do those things... maybe i should just write a song and avoid answering school forms on behalf of our family.
Yes lets do that.
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Monday, April 03, 2017
Mom
When you were born you cried and the world rejoiced, live you life so that when you die the world cries and you rejoice
- Native American Proverb
Marion Yvonne Robertson's life found the sweet spot of that sentiment.
I remember one time not too long ago before one of our neighbourhood parties when my daughter told me the kids in the neighbourhood were getting excited because I might be making one of my "famous" cakes. They were of course my Mom's "famous" cakes from her recipe box that she collected from her life that I took from the house when she could no longer use them anymore. A little box of of ideas that when implemented brought joy and nourishment. Now it's my kids that eye the batter, lick the spoons, smell the baking, and of course sample the wares, like I did when I was young.
Our family was an "old fashioned family" where Father went to work and Mother stayed home and ran the house and raised the kids. Make no mistake, she was the glue that held the ship together, we would have made like the Titanic without her herculean efforts on the rudder. She loved it and thought it was a great deal (her words) and wouldn't change a thing if she had to do it again. That concept is evaporating these days, this was her job and she was going to damn well do it to the best of her ability and i don't think i ever heard her complain about it... that would show weakness, which was not allowed.
The chance to be around children was the greatest thing for her. She told me this many times when we would talk over the years... oddly I became a stay home parent as well and we talked about these things at length. She was really good about it, being a very private person herself she never told me what to do, she would never impose, but often said I was doing everything right... well I did learn from the master.
Family was everything to Mom, that's why way back around 1960 when she inherited some money
from her Grandfather she went out and bought a cottage up on Georgian bay. "I thought it would be a great place for all of us to get together", was her logic... and it was. It was never an investment or a place for her to get away, it was a place for everybody, and my uncles and father built it out with some comical disputes over various carpentry skills... cause that's what men do and Mom was just glad everybody was there doing it. I have heard many stories about how Mom would go take my cousin Irene (who was an only child) up to the cottage for some nice get-a-ways and I know it meant the world to the both of them. After spending the summer at the cottage I remember going back to school and all of the kids were a bit tighter with each other than my sister Anne and I were to our friends who had played together. I'm sure it was my mothers way of making sure she got to spend her time with her family.
While at the cottage we had some epic family card games at night... 4 wildly competitive card sharks all with their own cunning poker faces. Mom was no slouch in a card game... just a quiet person in the background while other feigned fear or confidence to gain advantage... all of the sudden she is up in points acting surprised like this was news to her. "Oh I just had a few lucky hands don't worry about that" as the family of wolves turned on their new sacrificial lamb... I recall her onetime saying to me "you wouldn't do that to your own mother" during a particularly vicious game of "Bugger your neighbour" a game we called "Grandpa's game" because our Grandfather taught it to us. Believe me we were savage, but I know she was happy we were all there together doing it.
Later at night when my Sister and I were suppose to be asleep, but maybe we weren't we could hear my Mom and Dad playing scrabble. Dad would come up with some obscure "science term" that maybe was or wasn't actually a word and hilarity would ensue... dictionaries would come out and sometimes be overruled in the name of science, and then Mom would ask Dad to use the word in a sentence, and he would and then laughter might come from the rooms where people were suppose to be sleeping... it was the whole package, never a dull moment.
Sometimes a bat got in that cottage... it would get in the vent of the stove oil furnace (you could hear it) and it would make it into the furnace, and we would open the door to let it out because of course bat's are good for the ecosystem. Now one time My uncle Wilf and Aunt Dorothy were up at the cottage and my Dad and Uncle Wilf had gone out fishing and a bat got in the cottage it was flying laps around the cottage and my Aunt Dorothy was under the kitchen table screaming and waving a broom over her head. It was utter chaos... I remember being so excited I did a flip on the couch. Eventually I grabbed a sheet to hold up to help get the bat out the door. Bat's use sonar to avoid objects so you can help direct them to a certain spot, you could also club them with a tennis racket but that was not the way we rolled. I remember after the bat got out the door Mom was red in the face and smiling one of the greatest smiles and said "that was great"... my Aunt was laughing then, and so was my sister Anne. You need a place, and you need people to be there to have memories like these.
Mom was an elementary school teacher before the kids came and she gave that up to be there for her family. I know she loved it because she loved teaching and she loved kids, but her kids came first always. Back then school lunch was an hour long and I went home to have hot soup and a sandwich while watching the Flinstones with Mom at the kitchen table. That was my memory but years later talking to Mom about this she said she would put a sandwich in my hand as I would pace around the kitchen. I might have been a hyperactive child... one that may have to be medicated in today's society but I remember her saying "well this kid needed to move around and as long as he was eating I was OK with it". It's fair to say that I wasn't the easiest kid in the world with my penchant for violence and destruction... in fact in my kindergarten report card which I have, and I quote "Mark is getting better at relating to classmates but still is quick to use his fists to settle disputes". She let me pace around the house while eating thinking it might get some of the jitters out of my bones... now that is leadership!
One of my Mom's greatest laughs was when I got one of those electronic board sets.. I can't remember what it was called but you could make a lie detector test so I made it and tested my Mom... I set her up in the apparatus narrowed my eyes (my Father was in the room) and asked her if she had "ever had an affair". She was on her back with her legs up in the air in a full fit of absolute laughter within seconds... now I think the way it works is that if you sweat the moisture will connect the current and beep, thus detecting a lie... which actually happened after insane laughter (which might begat sweat)... I noted this and scored a note in my science notepad that came with the toy... this of course caused more insane laughter. For me the question came out of the blue, I wasn't thinking that far ahead... Mom wasn't an "affair" kind of person, she was very happy with the family she had. She loved her husband, her daughter and her son.
When I was in High School and my Sister was off at University, Mom went back to work doing taxes at H&R Block. She was a good numbers person, which is good to have in the person running the household budget. I remember one night when I was woken up by my parents laughing out of control. I said "what is going on". Now H&R Block was running a commercial at the time where a scruffy guy walks in to the place and gets an instant tax refund and goes and buys a VCR... which was state of the art technology at the time. So apparently some guy walked into the office without any of his documents and accosted my mother wanting his cheque because he wanted to get a VCR like the guy in the commercial. This of course was hilarious to my parents who were rule orientated and massively fiscally responsible, Dad was gasping and tearing, Mom was guffawing and me being always up for a contagious laugh got into the action.
Me: 17, Junior Ranger... My Dad was a Junior Ranger, which we heard about often, so I should be... it was awesome. Unfortunately our society can't afford those kind of programs anymore... apparently. But my experience there showed me another thing about my parents... come parent visitor day (in Cochrane Ontario) my parents were the only ones who showed up out of everybody there. I always remember that and it has guided me as a parent... always show up for your kids, it makes a difference.
My parents always came to visit when I was in university, and when I moved out west they always came out to visit. They came to crazy parties in Vancouver, rock shows in dive bars in the seediest parts of town, engaging with hippie friends of mine and always stood tall as real people that wanted to be there with their son... they were out of their comfort zone but yet in it because it was in the comfort zone of their son.
One time my parents came out to Vancouver and I had just bought an 1969 Volvo so we could take a trip down to Mount St. Helens in Washington U.S.A. Now this car, being an older car, had kind of a gas smell... my Father was not gas fume friendly and as you may remember he could really harp on subjects like these. Now Dad of course always needs to sit in the front seat, and Mom does whatever is best for other family members so Mom was behind him, A few hours into the journey Dad's gas fume paranoia was getting a bit old and we had to gas up. As I gassed up I dabbed a tissue cloth with some gas and gave it to mom and she held it by Dad's head as we drove on.... now Dad of course flipped into a massive paranoia about this new more powerful gas odour while Mom held this gas soaked tissue by his head with a mischievous grin. The next stop she got rid of the evidence and in no short order explained to me that this was over, we had our fun and got away with it, and there was no way Dad could ever find out about it as he would be hurt if he ever found out. Her ability to find the line and ride it was extraordinary.
I remember Mom thinking she would never have grandchildren, and then within about 7 years she had six of them, I know it meant the world to her. Nothing brought her more happiness that being with her Grandchildren. One time she had taken her oldest Grandchild Lauren up to the cottage and when they were coming back it rained so hard they had to pull over by the side of the road and wait it out... she thought that was great, a perfect opportunity to have a moment with a child she loved.
She was a great cook, and there was never a time dinner wasn't ready at the exact time it should be. Make no mistake there was an exact time, Dad had probably read in some scientific report titled "Circadian rhythm monthly" that the best time to eat was 6:00 pm sharp. Now the number of rules we had to eat by was astounding... no salt, no fat, many multi-coloured vegetables, any recently included foods reported in the "health digest" portion of the news needed to be added aggressively. For perspective I make food for my family every night and they are happy, Mom made food and was psychoanalyzed.
Unfortunately as time went on health didn't go as planned and what my Parents thought might happen didn't happen. Through it all Mom sacrificed herself to serve her family as always... that's the way she wanted it and there was no telling her otherwise, she was a purpose person and that's what drove the wheels of her life, if she couldn't help her family there was no purpose, she burned out trying to do the impossible. I remember being a kid she told me she wasn't afraid of dying, I thought that was insane because I was afraid of being eaten by a shark in swim lessons in a pool... she said "that was nuts, no shark are in the pool", I asked when the last shark check was... she didn't have an answer, I did receive a loving whap on the arm however.
In the end it's all just memories, thanks for the memories Mom, thanks for the love, the guidance, the lessons in financial responsibility, the tolerance, the trust and the steady example of why it pays to be a good person.
I'll do my best to carry the torch for the next generation, I know that's what you wanted.
Rest in peace
A memorial service in celebration of Marion's life will be held on April 9, 2017 at 2pm at Mount Pleasant Cemetery and Funeral Center, 375 Mount Pleasant Road, Toronto.
- Native American Proverb
Marion Yvonne Robertson's life found the sweet spot of that sentiment.
I remember one time not too long ago before one of our neighbourhood parties when my daughter told me the kids in the neighbourhood were getting excited because I might be making one of my "famous" cakes. They were of course my Mom's "famous" cakes from her recipe box that she collected from her life that I took from the house when she could no longer use them anymore. A little box of of ideas that when implemented brought joy and nourishment. Now it's my kids that eye the batter, lick the spoons, smell the baking, and of course sample the wares, like I did when I was young.
Our family was an "old fashioned family" where Father went to work and Mother stayed home and ran the house and raised the kids. Make no mistake, she was the glue that held the ship together, we would have made like the Titanic without her herculean efforts on the rudder. She loved it and thought it was a great deal (her words) and wouldn't change a thing if she had to do it again. That concept is evaporating these days, this was her job and she was going to damn well do it to the best of her ability and i don't think i ever heard her complain about it... that would show weakness, which was not allowed.
The chance to be around children was the greatest thing for her. She told me this many times when we would talk over the years... oddly I became a stay home parent as well and we talked about these things at length. She was really good about it, being a very private person herself she never told me what to do, she would never impose, but often said I was doing everything right... well I did learn from the master.
Family was everything to Mom, that's why way back around 1960 when she inherited some money
from her Grandfather she went out and bought a cottage up on Georgian bay. "I thought it would be a great place for all of us to get together", was her logic... and it was. It was never an investment or a place for her to get away, it was a place for everybody, and my uncles and father built it out with some comical disputes over various carpentry skills... cause that's what men do and Mom was just glad everybody was there doing it. I have heard many stories about how Mom would go take my cousin Irene (who was an only child) up to the cottage for some nice get-a-ways and I know it meant the world to the both of them. After spending the summer at the cottage I remember going back to school and all of the kids were a bit tighter with each other than my sister Anne and I were to our friends who had played together. I'm sure it was my mothers way of making sure she got to spend her time with her family.
While at the cottage we had some epic family card games at night... 4 wildly competitive card sharks all with their own cunning poker faces. Mom was no slouch in a card game... just a quiet person in the background while other feigned fear or confidence to gain advantage... all of the sudden she is up in points acting surprised like this was news to her. "Oh I just had a few lucky hands don't worry about that" as the family of wolves turned on their new sacrificial lamb... I recall her onetime saying to me "you wouldn't do that to your own mother" during a particularly vicious game of "Bugger your neighbour" a game we called "Grandpa's game" because our Grandfather taught it to us. Believe me we were savage, but I know she was happy we were all there together doing it.
Later at night when my Sister and I were suppose to be asleep, but maybe we weren't we could hear my Mom and Dad playing scrabble. Dad would come up with some obscure "science term" that maybe was or wasn't actually a word and hilarity would ensue... dictionaries would come out and sometimes be overruled in the name of science, and then Mom would ask Dad to use the word in a sentence, and he would and then laughter might come from the rooms where people were suppose to be sleeping... it was the whole package, never a dull moment.
Sometimes a bat got in that cottage... it would get in the vent of the stove oil furnace (you could hear it) and it would make it into the furnace, and we would open the door to let it out because of course bat's are good for the ecosystem. Now one time My uncle Wilf and Aunt Dorothy were up at the cottage and my Dad and Uncle Wilf had gone out fishing and a bat got in the cottage it was flying laps around the cottage and my Aunt Dorothy was under the kitchen table screaming and waving a broom over her head. It was utter chaos... I remember being so excited I did a flip on the couch. Eventually I grabbed a sheet to hold up to help get the bat out the door. Bat's use sonar to avoid objects so you can help direct them to a certain spot, you could also club them with a tennis racket but that was not the way we rolled. I remember after the bat got out the door Mom was red in the face and smiling one of the greatest smiles and said "that was great"... my Aunt was laughing then, and so was my sister Anne. You need a place, and you need people to be there to have memories like these.
Mom was an elementary school teacher before the kids came and she gave that up to be there for her family. I know she loved it because she loved teaching and she loved kids, but her kids came first always. Back then school lunch was an hour long and I went home to have hot soup and a sandwich while watching the Flinstones with Mom at the kitchen table. That was my memory but years later talking to Mom about this she said she would put a sandwich in my hand as I would pace around the kitchen. I might have been a hyperactive child... one that may have to be medicated in today's society but I remember her saying "well this kid needed to move around and as long as he was eating I was OK with it". It's fair to say that I wasn't the easiest kid in the world with my penchant for violence and destruction... in fact in my kindergarten report card which I have, and I quote "Mark is getting better at relating to classmates but still is quick to use his fists to settle disputes". She let me pace around the house while eating thinking it might get some of the jitters out of my bones... now that is leadership!
One of my Mom's greatest laughs was when I got one of those electronic board sets.. I can't remember what it was called but you could make a lie detector test so I made it and tested my Mom... I set her up in the apparatus narrowed my eyes (my Father was in the room) and asked her if she had "ever had an affair". She was on her back with her legs up in the air in a full fit of absolute laughter within seconds... now I think the way it works is that if you sweat the moisture will connect the current and beep, thus detecting a lie... which actually happened after insane laughter (which might begat sweat)... I noted this and scored a note in my science notepad that came with the toy... this of course caused more insane laughter. For me the question came out of the blue, I wasn't thinking that far ahead... Mom wasn't an "affair" kind of person, she was very happy with the family she had. She loved her husband, her daughter and her son.
When I was in High School and my Sister was off at University, Mom went back to work doing taxes at H&R Block. She was a good numbers person, which is good to have in the person running the household budget. I remember one night when I was woken up by my parents laughing out of control. I said "what is going on". Now H&R Block was running a commercial at the time where a scruffy guy walks in to the place and gets an instant tax refund and goes and buys a VCR... which was state of the art technology at the time. So apparently some guy walked into the office without any of his documents and accosted my mother wanting his cheque because he wanted to get a VCR like the guy in the commercial. This of course was hilarious to my parents who were rule orientated and massively fiscally responsible, Dad was gasping and tearing, Mom was guffawing and me being always up for a contagious laugh got into the action.
Me: 17, Junior Ranger... My Dad was a Junior Ranger, which we heard about often, so I should be... it was awesome. Unfortunately our society can't afford those kind of programs anymore... apparently. But my experience there showed me another thing about my parents... come parent visitor day (in Cochrane Ontario) my parents were the only ones who showed up out of everybody there. I always remember that and it has guided me as a parent... always show up for your kids, it makes a difference.
My parents always came to visit when I was in university, and when I moved out west they always came out to visit. They came to crazy parties in Vancouver, rock shows in dive bars in the seediest parts of town, engaging with hippie friends of mine and always stood tall as real people that wanted to be there with their son... they were out of their comfort zone but yet in it because it was in the comfort zone of their son.
One time my parents came out to Vancouver and I had just bought an 1969 Volvo so we could take a trip down to Mount St. Helens in Washington U.S.A. Now this car, being an older car, had kind of a gas smell... my Father was not gas fume friendly and as you may remember he could really harp on subjects like these. Now Dad of course always needs to sit in the front seat, and Mom does whatever is best for other family members so Mom was behind him, A few hours into the journey Dad's gas fume paranoia was getting a bit old and we had to gas up. As I gassed up I dabbed a tissue cloth with some gas and gave it to mom and she held it by Dad's head as we drove on.... now Dad of course flipped into a massive paranoia about this new more powerful gas odour while Mom held this gas soaked tissue by his head with a mischievous grin. The next stop she got rid of the evidence and in no short order explained to me that this was over, we had our fun and got away with it, and there was no way Dad could ever find out about it as he would be hurt if he ever found out. Her ability to find the line and ride it was extraordinary.
I remember Mom thinking she would never have grandchildren, and then within about 7 years she had six of them, I know it meant the world to her. Nothing brought her more happiness that being with her Grandchildren. One time she had taken her oldest Grandchild Lauren up to the cottage and when they were coming back it rained so hard they had to pull over by the side of the road and wait it out... she thought that was great, a perfect opportunity to have a moment with a child she loved.
She was a great cook, and there was never a time dinner wasn't ready at the exact time it should be. Make no mistake there was an exact time, Dad had probably read in some scientific report titled "Circadian rhythm monthly" that the best time to eat was 6:00 pm sharp. Now the number of rules we had to eat by was astounding... no salt, no fat, many multi-coloured vegetables, any recently included foods reported in the "health digest" portion of the news needed to be added aggressively. For perspective I make food for my family every night and they are happy, Mom made food and was psychoanalyzed.
Unfortunately as time went on health didn't go as planned and what my Parents thought might happen didn't happen. Through it all Mom sacrificed herself to serve her family as always... that's the way she wanted it and there was no telling her otherwise, she was a purpose person and that's what drove the wheels of her life, if she couldn't help her family there was no purpose, she burned out trying to do the impossible. I remember being a kid she told me she wasn't afraid of dying, I thought that was insane because I was afraid of being eaten by a shark in swim lessons in a pool... she said "that was nuts, no shark are in the pool", I asked when the last shark check was... she didn't have an answer, I did receive a loving whap on the arm however.
In the end it's all just memories, thanks for the memories Mom, thanks for the love, the guidance, the lessons in financial responsibility, the tolerance, the trust and the steady example of why it pays to be a good person.
I'll do my best to carry the torch for the next generation, I know that's what you wanted.
Rest in peace
A memorial service in celebration of Marion's life will be held on April 9, 2017 at 2pm at Mount Pleasant Cemetery and Funeral Center, 375 Mount Pleasant Road, Toronto.
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