Wednesday, January 25, 2012

you guys read instructions?

You guys meaning anybody who happens to read this gibberish, for title clarification purposes of course. Me I just can't seem to read instructions, or take them for that matter... life is just a vast pool of mistakes and forks that didn't need to happen. Don't get me wrong, in the grand scheme of things my ship is sailing fine and in what appears to be the right direction... but if someone were to say... "sailor Robertson loosen the jib on your boat" ( I guess we are doing a sailing analogy here). I might find the jib see it all taught and start tugging on it angrily wondering why this rats nest of rope won't work with me... in reality it would be a cow hitch / lark's head / whatever you want to call it knot, but i wouldn't know that and in a split second snap decision i might just cut the damn rope thinking for a second that i smartly solved the problem. The euphoria would never even peak before being taken over by that familiar mind boggling "what the fucking-hell is wrong with me" Robertson regret.

Luckily i can roll with punches better than most and i might be like... "OK boys, we are not going to have too much control for a little while, and if the good news is if a sudden storm comes upon us we don't have to worry about having a taught jib.

In my world it's odd how a Blackberry wine making error turns into a sailing lesson... I mean there is totally a process one can read about, be prepared, and then do it... Or you can just start winging it knowing that the simple chemistry of all that sugar and the yeast is sure to make a potent batch of giggle juice no matter how hard one needs to wince to gulp it down your gullet.

Ohh it ain't that bad just a little heavy on the peptic enzyme, and the acid balance agent. The enzyme I'm not too worried about, when the job is done the job is done... that's the thing about enzymes. If union workers were enzymes there would be no problems... they would just do their jobs while the company reaped the profits. I kind of see me as the company, and I'm OK with those enzymes slaving away for free helping make my product. It is the overdose of the acid balance agent, that from a pure chemistry perspective has to be bad... Lets put it this way boys "i feel confident we won't have an acidic blackberry wine"... the real question is "what will a basic wine taste like and what will it do to ones stomach".

Tums are basic, so is Pepito bismal... hot damn i might be on to something... S Robertson's Hammer-time alkaline wine. Have today's stresses got you down? Are you feeling stressed about the state of the world economy? Rising oil prices? Shopping uncertainty? Are these stresses culminated in abdominal discomfort?

Maybe you should try S Robertson's Hammer-time alkaline wine. A natural organic and good old fashioned King hell time. Not only will gulping back a few litres (i mean gallons) of Robertson's clinically proven juice, take the edge off a hard day but Robertson's (TM) chemically balanced wine actually works to reverse the negative PH balance associated with high stress ulcer patients.

Ahh look here we have an email from the account of Dr. C Tognoon... and authorized email account i might add. "S Robertson's alkaline Hammer-time wine is clearly the best medicine available"

there you have it folks

Another fine Canada Lynx Product.

I should probably just stop now.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Old Mule old sport had me all conscious about bloggerson activity over the past year with his scathing disapproval of his own output. I tried to count posts but then i lost track... Mule is a real writer of course, where i am just a point maker and comedian with a dream.

Year ends are good milestones... a chance to take stock of the output and evaluate what you think you need or need not to do. Me, I have been kind of on this weekly deadline for some time so years mean nothing to me... well they do... I'm less flexible than i was last year... i speak in terms of tendons and gaits, and not in terms of fickle personality disorders.

In fact, the end of the year is so irrelevant to me at this point in time it's almost comical... I mean talk about new beginnings... in like 10 days we move a family of 5 to a new city in a new country to a new house we have bought that i haven't even seen with my own eyes... I walk away from all my friends, my neighbourhood, my garden, my teams, my band, my show, my kids school... everything i have ever known my adult life to start fresh.

No don't feel bad for me... I ain't trying to lay a sissy sorrow trip on your ass... i see this as a real opportunity... this is destiny at work! I don't know what is going to happen but the fork in the road has been accepted and the adventure is about to begin... there will be no year end blog summary from the SR headquarters... actually i was thinking of finishing off the super Robertson Supper Show Blog with the top ten best moments... but that can wait until after the storm when i have perspective... but will i even want to visit that?

Fact- on our porch sits a bag of VHS cassettes with the only Knockin' Dog and Roadbed performances and all the early SRSS years... there is a person in the house who is eager to toss that shit... i was thinking save it, but if it's gone it's one of those things on my list of things to do that just gets erased, and in the end who would really care? Perhaps i need to be more Buddhist like and let things that are gone be gone... the dilemma?

It's odd... i do these things and the feedback i get from certain members of the family is that i am an doomed to fail with my bizarre attitude. And then some of the same people tell me that i should write a book about my experiences as a stay home dad with 3 young girls... they say i could make a million. But if I'm no good at creative projects how could i make a million? The difference between ideas and execution of ideas really slips the grasp of the average person... If you can't write a good song (if it's not a hit it's not good right) then surely you can't write a good book, because a book is one hell of a bigger effort than a song. Not only that a song can just be a ditty... a book needs a point!

My point here is people see your situation and think you might have a unique perspective, which is true, but then there is the whole art of unveiling that perspective to a common audience... but perhaps it doesn't matter with the right sales pitch, tag lines and twitter feeds one might be able to make "a million" on something that doesn't properly make a point but strikes the right mood for the moment of civilization we live in, which i think is what people were trying to say in the first place. It irritates me on a few levels, but that's my scene... although i have never tasted success i see clearly the irritations that would come with the concept of the work you do, the random success it garners, and the faith people have in you. The thing is, it's not related. If somebody dumps 7 yards of topsoil onto your driveway for your garden in the back then for sure you will notice all the work the person with the wheel barrel will do to bring that soil out back to the garden... I could do that in half a day, and i have on a few occasions... it would take me a year to write the book and another year to find distribution for it and it would cost me plenty and then i would just be another author trying to sell their stuff wondering why the Million didn't drop from the sky as promised.

Every human activity has a common talking point... but can you talk the talk? Can you relate to the people who are listening?

Life is like a good moustache... it's not until you can twirl the hanging end of your handlebar with your index finger while you ponder a point that you can truly find the answer, and the answer might not be what you want it to be, but it is what it is.

Hot damn, i wish i didn't get on this tangent... clearly Mule's fault. I could just delete but that would be against the rules of the Super Robertson Chronicles... and the rules are the rules... in life you have to follow your rules for good or ill. Perhaps it's the honey cream ale's fault and not all Mule's fault... poor Mule doesn't need another cyberattack when the time comes that some Internet phenomena alerts him to the fact that this has been written and he has to digest the role he may or may not have had in it's existence. Who would have ever thought that a guy making a comment in a bar years ago to the tune of "super Robertson might make interesting Internet correspondence" would be leveled with this onus as all the hope hung like dew on 2012.