Friday, October 14, 2016

Bob Dylan Wins Nobel Prize for Literature....

Dave Bidini wrote an article in the Globe and Mail and took some hits for it... Dave is always good for generating comments, but then comments may have dubious merits.  The point is I don't think anybody with a head on their shoulders would deny that Bob Dylan's lyrics are of the highest quality imaginable and that his body of work is nearly unmatched  ( does Joni Mitchell win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?).

I have an idea... I know crazy old Robertson with his crazy ideas?  Can we have a Nobel Prize for meaningful, inspiring and relevant song lyrics?  God knows we could use it given some of the insipid words cobbled together and slapped on a loop and called a song these days.  Imagine giving a shit about song lyrics?  A friend of mine was in a song/band contest in Vancouver and there was a hundred thousand dollar prize, and you had to go to a boot camp and prove your worth and learn how it is done.  I was quizzing him on things and was shocked to find out that according to this industry funded opportunity the idea of having good lyrics accounted for only about 5% of the focus for success.  So literature has no place in modern music, according to the leading industry folks.

This is insane to anybody who has ever been truly affected by "Words and Music", which happens to be the motto of SOCAN the society of composers and authors... just savior the irony.

So yes we could perhaps use some inspiration on the lyric commitment, and if you want to aim for the sky then Bob Dylan is one of the highest marks without question.

But as to the point that I believe Mr. Bidini was making was that writing a masterpiece book is a different animal than writing song lyrics.  Me, i have released a dozen albums worth of song lyrics and have plenty unreleased, and some I have laboured over and some came to me in moments of inspiration, but i have yet to write a book, but yet it is on my list, but i haven't mustered the courage to take it on.  Why take a carrot away from one of the hardest things to do for people that basically get very little reward for such massive effort.

I wrote a eulogy for my father when he died, and it went over pretty well, and a family member who knew I was a stay home dad mentioned to me a perfect career I could have... become a writer.  It was nice to hear that somebody thought I could do something, but I dismissed the idea with the logic that I would still have to sell some product to people.  Given  my massive failure selling words and music and the effort/ reward ratio was not conducive to me living a happy life and being a decent available father to my children and family.  I'm in a good spot, our family is surviving nicely on the fact that my wife has a good career and our family has balance and a level of prosperity.  Can i write a book?  That remains to be seen, but the overwhelming chance that if I do it will be in obscurity is not lost on me.  For the record I don't believe I would win a Nobel Prize if I did write a book, so this is not a "sour grapes" situation as some have suggested that Mr. Bidini's angle was.

Why not have a new category?  "Nobel Prize for lifetime song lyric output" and then let the people who slaved over books to still have a shot at the "Nobel prize for Literature".  Let's face it, another award ain't going to throw a rake on the spokes of humanity... we fucking love awards, and an award category for song lyrics might help raise the bar a bit as far as that is concerned.  Give the book people a chance to shine, or at least a hope, or a mirage perhaps and this whole thing can be done with.

I can almost imagine the people deciding on this thinking they are so great thinking outside the box giving this award to one of the greatest songwriters ever. Neat idea given to a worthy candidate, but at some point they lost focus on what they were actually doing... there is a Nobel prize in Chemistry and a Nobel Prize in Physics, also one in Physiology and Medicine.  These are all in the science field... there is not just one for science because they are all different, all meaningful and all important.

Books are important and so are songs, but they are different... Bob Dylan deserves a Nobel Prize for his lifetime body of work that has inspired the world to be better and more fair.  So do many authors fighting in the tunnel where the light at the end just got dimmer.

Saturday, May 07, 2016

SOCIAL MEDIA TO STINGING - random ideas of no particular importance

Social Media is becoming a weird dog... do people actually think they are accomplishing anything?  Mind you a few are... i can think of one offhand.  Now that is an incredibly negative thought that i just had... one that is surly to gall others should i decide to share it, and of course that said i didn't count myself as the one who is accomplishing anything. To be honest, i am very pleased with my insignificance... it's good stuff.  Why comment then?  Why fucking not, if it's just for kicks, complaints, and something else that might start with a "k" sound, if i wasn't too lazy to finish the sentence with some alliteration.  Why get it right?

You start getting boxed in after a while... i believe that to be the general mathematics of the relationship of the being and the medium as they evolve over time in a synergistic relationship.

That was a pretty good sentence until the word "synergistic" popped up... that is a punch in the head for the author.  OK i gave myself a stinger over the right eye... it's all good now. 

Now don't get me wrong... the relationship between a person and social media is indeed a synergistic relationship.  When a person posts something on social media, social media responds, and that response will factor in the decision making process in the next thing that person posts, and social media will respond in a different way.  And that person's unique world... i use the term "unique" verry verry fucking loosely, so fucking loosely in fact that i added an extra "r" too both very's.  Are you allowed to apostrophe s  the word very if you refer to it as a noun?   So confusing... but don't worry proper language use has gone the way of the Dodo. I'll tell you one thing you don't want to do... kill slugs at night with a headlamp outside a beehive.  The headlamp will stimulate the bees, an organism that is not keen on being stimulated late at night when it's "hunker down in the hive" time.  Now there is a saying in hockey "sometimes you have to take a hit to make a play".

Speaking of strange events involving bee's... I was at the beekeeping supply store the other day and the person at the cash could barely write because of a hand was all swollen  to the size of a guinea pig...  got stung by a bee.  Actually when pressed about it one sting happened about 3 days ago and the other was just yesterday.  Now me,  I'm thinking that perhaps a career around bee's is not in the cards for this person... from the talk, it doesn't seem to have crossed the mind.  With allergies, sometimes the reaction can get worse and worse over time, so you might not want to push getting stung.  I wear gloves when i go into my hive... apparently this person doesn't because they consider themself an experienced beekeeper... so i hear.  I was wondering if a prayer might help, but no for the record the person does not believe in prayer... there seemed to belief in Karma, fate and Omens, although for sure there was a bit of a problem with common sense and logic.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

My first swarm capture

It was a busy day and i was just going to relax tonight... and make some plans for tomorrow.

My bee's died this winter... it was unfortunate, but these things happen, and i actually am set to get some more on Wednesday... it's Monday night right now.  So I have a friend who has a drip line irrigation system for me and i phoned her up to see if i could get that before i install my bees on Wednesday.  She is telling me i can come and get it tomorrow, and then as a final note, rather casually mentions that in the giant Oak tree across the street there is a massive swarm of bees.

"The bee's are there right now" i say calmly even though my nervous system just kicked into hyper-drive... "oh yes she says".  I'll be there in a few minutes.  On the way down to get my beekeeping stuff i call my bee buddy Christof and we have the shortest conversation we have ever had..

-Want to come and get a swarm

All i had to grab them was a brew bucket and a heart full of hope... time is of the essence, nightfall is coming, for all i know another beekeeper is on the way to claim this bundle of gold.  Christof is a more experienced beekeeper than myself and is slightly more prepared grabbing a large box and a light and some duct tape... i knew my friends who lived by the swarm would have some things, like a ladder and some tools that i could figure something out.

The swarm was actually 3 clusters hanging about 20 feet up in the middle of an intersection, not a busy one luckily, and my friends had an orchard ladder and a long pole tree pruner.

As we were getting ready the zipper on Christof's veil broke and we lost the last bit of daylight getting that fixed... for a moment i almost said "don't worry about it", which i thought might be kind of funny given it was getting dark and bee's tend to be a little more testy at night.   It was a good thing we got it fixed for sure.  The first cluster came down into the box really easy.  It was on a little branch and the twig was cut easily with the pruning tool. 
As it was getting dark it was harder to see the branch that the bigger cluster was on so he pulled the branch towards me and i got an hand on it so we could try to maneuver it better... it was shortly after that that the branch snapped and the bee's rained down, mostly into the box and on to my head... not the way we had it written up for sure... it was on the street so we could sweep a lot of the clusters up into a dustpan and get them into the box.  Now the bees were very docile which was nice and they did head towards the box and some of the bees lined the perimeter of the box to fan pheromones outward... these are good signs that the queen was in the box, which is a very important piece of the puzzle... time will tell.
There was a lot of bee's, i would probably say about 15,000 and the weather report calls for rain tomorrow, so I'm happy the bee's are safe in a good hive right now.  Two guys driving home in a van in bee suits and a box of gold in the back.

A swarm in May is worth a load of hay; a swarm in June is worth a silver spoon; but a swarm in July is not worth a fly
   -Beekeeping proverb

So a monster swarm in early April is the big time Jackpot!  We put them in my hive and gave them some of the frames of honey that i had from my last hive to make their new home seem nice and beehive like.

Now about those bee's i have to go and get on Wednesday... I guess I'll be building some boxes.

You can never have too many hives right?


Thursday, January 28, 2016

Enlightenment is good, better when it comes before injury

We need to widen our dinner options declared a family one weekend, and the youngest one said "we can only eat what we know how to make"... and then the father true to his "maniac" way of doing things set off on some righteous sermon about how there is nothing we can not learn to do and do well... there was a paragraph titled "limitless potential"... scratch that as paragraphs aren't usually titled... bullet points might be... but now our story is getting irritating.

So the father declares "name anything and we will make it".

Sushi- We can do this... make some avocado rolls, some cucumber rolls, some deep fried shrimp rolls...

Within a small broken sentence our hero has now, even though he has yet to realize it, planted a seed in that little place in his brain that will cause the deep fry operation to overtake the sushi operation.  Now as a natural maniac, and an older one... one who's brain is more accustomed to naturally justify this coming imbalance the Father triples the sushi rice recipe.  Now lets change "the father" to "me", so i can be less confused and get on with things.

One of the justifications i used to myself at the time was "with more rice we can make mistakes and not go hungry", which is odd seeing that I had already committed to pot stickers and steamed buns as a backup.  Now i did get the steamed buns and pot stickers frozen in the Asian market when i went to fetch pickled ginger and what turned out to be fire hot wasabi. I was just going to batter and fry some shrimp, yams and asparagus, but then i got fixated on onion rings, and everything else that could possibly be deep fried

So we have about 36 avocado rolls, 24 cucumber rolls, 12 dynamite rolls, 18 tempura asparagus rolls, 30 pot stickers, 8 steamed buns, a plate of red pepper tempura, and I'm trying frantically to push out a batch of onion rings so we don't starve to death.  I ate my portion 15 minutes before going to yoga.

Now in Yoga often times your body wakes up and becomes aware and begins processing things... you breathe into spaces to open things up and push away discomfort.  In retrospect it seems foolish to gorge back a deep fried feast and then go to yoga, but in life sometimes you are focused so heavily on another job, or you fall into a deep fry frenzy and all bets are off.

My neighbour's have a deep fryer, they want me to use their deep fryer... they are community foodies who believe a deep fryer is a good thing to have, and by me using it i am helping justify the roll... we understand this and are happy, mostly, that we do understand this..  I was thinking about the deep fryer (obviously), and it is that oil commitment that is the "economic saver mentality syndrome"... If i am going to spend a pot of oil, then spend a pot of oil.   It's all decoys... there is always a reason to go insane, life is about finding the reason.  As we speak my heart is kind of feeling a little congested, perhaps i can fix this with a few wind sprints up and down the street.

Post wind sprints - Ankle hurts, seeing mild stars, new sweat areas, fresh odours... most likely the second biggest mistake of the night... pulled hip muscle is kind of coming on strong now.  What was that saying... "if you find yourself in a hole stop digging".  Enlightenment is good,  better when it comes before injury... not a bad quote to salvage from today's self induced carnage.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

The Defeat

The moment he was defeated was the greatest... a wonderful defeat- a hubris induced nemesis  outcome... irreversible legacy damage.  To a megalomaniac it would be the worst possible outcome... all the people jumping ship before the election... but you could only see you.  I actually wouldn't put it past you that the "all the blame for this lies with me and me alone" line you uttered was a support line should you ever throw your hat back in the ring.  You can hear the newsman say... "well by taking responsibility he has proved that he has changed"... right. I honestly don't doubt that this is a possibility... you will have to repair that legacy right?

Oddly enough you might have done the best possible thing for for the Country... put your party out of power against a majority government. 

Could have stepped away and the words "you have been an unbelievable Leader" as uttered by one of the great sellouts of all time.  Heck your Party might have even won again without you, the albatross, around it's neck.  Certainly a delicious irony for somebody who has suffered as a result of the cruel  and thoughtless policies that you imposed.

It's true the defeat was absolutely  because of you... everybody can now get out their dissection knives and carve up the Goat to show how it was you and only you that was wrong with this incompetent government.  Heck, the great foreign owned Newspapers might even run this stuff in an effort to purge the brand.  Isn't there some court case going on where you might face charges?  Who will lie for you now? If you were charged it could take the heat off others? It's just politics... nothing personal... every once in a while somebody has to get eaten by a shark, just to show how the game is not rigged

You can see why this gets better and better... Never poison the food chain for people that have things on you... most smart people know that, and I'm sure you did once too...  it's good to relearn life lessons... it's like enlightenment: it goes when you know you have it.

Aloha sucker

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Robertson's voting in elections ideas

I always vote, i always loose, i have a long memory and a short fuse for bitter ironies... but this isn't about my disappointment in humanity, well i guess everything kind of is in a way.

- "it was a marvelous line, and it was written to blind, and now the end of the line... is ahead of it's time"
    Roadbed (Last dance at the Shockcenter 2004)

I was referring at the time to a line some loathsome cretin said about how Global Warming was some crazy left wing conspiracy meant to steal money from the economy.  Utter bullshit of course, but yet very effective in undermining scientific data for the good of partisan politics.  So yea we lost that one a long time ago and the bill is coming due, and nobody could have ever expected it... right.

So yes, i am disappointed in humanity and I'm sure I'll die with that grudge on my shoulder... but i still vote... it's like there is bad and worse, but as we know (or we don't) worse can be really fucking bad.

I can accept corrupt politicians... power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely (Lord Acton).  I would just hope that perhaps the corrupt person, just maybe every once in a while, if they had the chance might do something good for society.  That is basically my high bar of hope for humans in power.  I mean there have been corrupt Governments in power that at least left the Government in somewhat decent shape while serving themselves shamelessly.  You could argue that American President Bill Clinton and Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chr├ętien both had problems with corruption, but yet both left office with their respective countries in relatively decent shape on the thing consumers seem to care about... that being the economy of course.  Now don't get we wrong here... there is a lot of things that could have been done better in a lot of ways, but consumers.. i mean voters like a strong economy... 

Now following discontent for these 2 North American leaders contested elections landed Geroge W. Bush and Stephen Harper in Power respectively (now the timeline was different of course and in Canada a dithering PM held power for a short while) but what did we see... corruption went up exponentially, surpluses turned to deficits and regulations were stomped on... wars based on facts that were untrue, wars on reason, focus on religious freedoms for some while religious freedoms for others were scaled back... lets just say the Countries went into the gutter where opportunities declined, the economy failed and divisions escalated.  Now in the U.S.A. George W Bush's failure was so great that the country elected and eloquent speaking black man named Barack Hussein Obama on the hope for change ticket.  Now once again for sure, change didn't come fast enough or far enough for many who had great hopes, but the facts don't lie... the American economy is doing pretty good right now... remember the consumers, i mean the voters... that is their top issue.  Now considering he accomplished this while being opposed in every issue always as a matter of partisan politics every step of the way is kind of impressive.  Sure i would like to see no war, clean energy, zero waste more reforestation... and all of the other crazy left wing pinko commie tree hugging ideas that try to enable the planet to remain sustainable, and i would argue that those positions are more attainable under and Obama Presidency than they were under a Bush Presidency... probably a Bush supporter wouldn't even argue that because the idea of a sustainable planet may seem like a stupid idea to a Bush Supporter from all i can gather from what has been said.

On Monday we will find out what direction Canada will go... now it's a bit of a different story because there are three parties with a shot at the title, and a newly introduced election law called "the fair elections act" which would pit a wry grin on the face of the late great George Orwell... almost as good as the "responsible resource development initiative" which basically said just let international corporations gut the country and to hell with what happens because we stomped out all of the environmental protection laws and anybody who protests well fuck you you are now a terrorist and we have an new law for you... am i going off again?

So yes i voted... will i win, probably not although the particular member of Parliament i voted for probably will win.

I did vote against Vancouver B.C holding the Olympics, mainly because i didn't trust a blank check given to development and i also was offended at the idea that offering better transit to a city was on the condition of holding a 2 week party.  But in the end i had a good time during the Olympics and to the city's credit a fair bit of good did come out of it... clearly the affordable housing bait and switch was irritating, but i expected as much.

The thing i don't understand about elections is the run up to the elections... the political campaigning... it's asinine.  You see i pay attention to things, and i know where i stand... i know what political values are closest to mine (they never go far enough for me by the way).  Nothing anybody could have said  over the period of the campaign while they were on their best behaviour could sway me to the direction that i want my country to go in... I have worked as a civil servant, and artist and a stay home parent, and i have never lived paycheck to paycheck.  My time, the quality of the earths environment and the general human respect we have for one another are the things i care about the most.  No load of crap somebody can read from a prepared paper in a campaign could ever make me forget the issues somebody stood up for when the cards were on the table.

And what the fuck is a swing voter?  Some idiot that has no no fucking idea what is going on but at the 11th hour somebody says something that resonates with them so they go out and cast a vote for some idiot that really have no idea what they stand for and call it good?  Are you fucking kidding me... elections are decided by these morons?  I mean i would love to hear a really good rational argument on why i should vote for the person I'm not going to vote for... if it is a real argument and it makes real sense i will consider it... but "protect our economy" by an imbecile who has destroyed our economy is not one.

I'm all for putting your platform out on paper, people read the fucking thing and vote and if you don't carry out what you said you would you get publicly stoned to death.  Seems fair to me... anybody caught lobbying gets a free lobotomy as well under my plan.  At heart i don't think many people would disagree with that... but it might be considered a barbaric cultural practice.


Friday, September 18, 2015

It's not politics, it's sanity i strive for

Sometimes people say to me "Oh you are into politics"... the truth is i am into irony, as well as being fascinated by how fucking stupid human populations can be.   I should come clean here... i believe as humans living on this closed system that is Earth... well, we missed it.  I realize this is a depressing thought for some... like my wife for example who likes to think of herself as an "eternal optimist", and yes she is, and that's great... but i see it differently.  I'm just a fact kind of guy, not a positive or negative thing, it just is what it is.  So i believe the tipping point has been reached (a while back) and we are doomed... for some reason i am still able to get up and have good days and look forward to more good days.  It's a weird skill, and one i am thankful for... i even have kids... i hope for them, but you know we still have that massive patch of plastic garbage in the middle of the fucking Pacific Ocean and there is very little political will to ban plastic, or the climate is changing and our leaders are arguing over whether that is true or not, and that we can't possible hurt the economy by addressing that.

The way i see it;  the economy is bullshit, and the environment is the economy... i laugh as i realize this statement might make sure i never get elected should i ever make the mistake of running for public office.  Now if you can't grow an apple because you have no fucking water because you used all the water to extract petroleum products, or you dammed all of the rivers, or you cut down all of the forests disturbing the hydrologic cycle... well then you can't sell an apple.  If you can't make food because you killed all of the pollinators with insane management policies, then you can't sell food.  So you can't make money AND you can't feed yourself.

I believe it was a Cree Indian Prophecy

Only after the last tree has been cut down, Only after the last river has been poisoned, Only after the last fish has been caught, Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.

That sums it up, but perhaps those with enough money and power will be able to survive longer, so our economic model might work still.  Clearly there might be a chance for the rural farming hermit provided he could avoid the state safety officer's visits to relieve him of his produce.

So the irony of course is these insipid political debates we have to suffer through, and these long vapid campaigns that focus on this "economy" where candidates  pledge "tax breaks" to stimulate growth and such.  Now quick question... have you ever tried to claim a "tax break"?  The forms make no fucking sense and then you have to hire an accountant and thus loose the money you made in the tax break.  Obviously the Government tax agencies can help... you just have to call them, wait on hold for a fucking hour and then get some suspect advise that has been proven to be wrong more than 50% of the time.  What's the problem here?

Now in Canada right now there is a thing called the Leap Manifesto which pretty much seems like the thing to do, however there is politics.  It was probably 8 years ago that Liberal leader Stephan Dion ran on a platform of altering Canada's economy to one with a Green future, and by investing in green jobs (8 years ago), Canada might be at the lead in the future when the green revolution hits... like right about now.  Now he was beaten like a mule at the polls as the Conservatives ran adds calling it the "green shaft" that would hurt Canada's economy, and was portrayed in attack ads as a weak leader.  Even my own parents, who in reality would support such an idea, had they been in their right minds, were swayed by the commercials and avoided supporting this "weak leader".   And here we are now. Will the Leap Manifesto help the most insane political party by adding to the fear of change with respect to the economy dialogue?  Hey we can't change something that is clearly not working, and perhaps if we reiterate how something that is not working is actually working enough times people might actually believe it.  Obviously it helps if you can limit real information that is gathered on how a society is doing and replace it with your own ideas no matter how baseless they may be.

Now this is the intrigue of politics fore me, how one can push off nonsense for fact and fact for nonsense to suit ones political needs.  Remember political parties are machines to be elected... it has nothing to do with good governance, it's about gaining power.  Obviously some are better than others, like the lesser of evils perhaps and the only victory is seeing some fucker go down, and on to some high corporate appointment.

My personal political affiliation was the Work less Party, but they fizzled out... apparently nobody is interested in a zero growth economy and more free time to spend with family and living life.  We prefer a negative growth economy where people work their life away, as long as it is called in the ads and the debates as a growth economy.

So for the comedy?  I mean it's not really funny, irony is a bitter pill best served cold... the talking points have grown stale and the result is old,  but people cling to the life they know... "How do i do better or stay the same for me?" Maybe i should vote for X because i might come out a few hundred dollars ahead... that's how we think.  Which of course is irrelevant if your government tanks the countries currency by 25% by making horrible decisions that nobody could have ever have predicted... except those that predicted it and were written off a lunatics.

The problem is that the lunatic never gets their day in the spotlight.... the person who said "this is an insane idea" never gets redeemed.   Even as somebody who believes we are doomed, there would be a certain satisfaction if we could at least consider addressing the problems we face... then perhaps i might change my mind and believe in the impossible... that we could collectively change the course of our destiny.  But of course reforesting the planet isn't even on the agenda when we need to deal with important things like Wars, clamping down on immigration, trade agreements, surveillance,  chemical pesticide development... you know smart stuff.

If you want to really ramp up the insanity check out the American Republican debates... #unfuckingbelievable