all in a days work

I blame the Premier of B.C. for being such a persistent weasel. If it wasn't for him the Teachers wouldn't have been on strike, and if the teachers weren't on strike then the kids wouldn't have been home.
Well they were actually playing road hockey on what would be a quiet Canadian street.. I of course was the innocent Mailman just doing his job and minding his own business, even regretfully declining the first invitation to join the game... And if that fat little kid didn't challenge my skill set with such a cocky tone I probably would have just continued peacefully down Harriet street, and that would have been the end of it.
Indeed... The hairy old mailman had a few moves left in the tank, and all that extra body fat don't do you no good when your flopping around the ground like a walrus.
My team shot out to an early 5-0 lead. I had just assigned the "assistant captain" title to a feisty 7 year old named Danny, taping an A to his jersey when the first infraction occurred.
Fat boy's wheezing brother Abe shot the ball at me during a stop in play... I winked at Danny and turned with the ball on my stick, I called play on, and drilled a hard shot at Abe's neck dropping him to the ground... At first there was no sound, just the violent kicking of legs... And the that whiney voice crying a lost and lonely sound. I went over and poked him with my stick and ordered him to shut up... I had to explain to him that he was a disgrace to the whole sport... He did shut up for the most part keeping it to an intermittent blubbering.
Now I'll give Fat boy credit, he gave me a good chop to the ankle, perhaps as retribution. I even though of letting it slide... But then, what good would that teach him. Sure he is right to stand up for his teammate, but if he thinks that it's going to be a cake walk, that's silly. The world doesn't work on that principle... You got to learn to take your lumps.
So that's why I crosschecked him in the face.
I take it that's when his father and uncle started watching the game. Well they shot out on the street and we had ourselves a real good brawl.. I was actually doing pretty good.. I had the Uncle on the Father and I was working his ribcage... Next thing you know I see a Postal Van and oddly enough my first thought was, EXCELLENT REINFORCEMENTS.
Upon some rather unpleasant discourse it became apparent that my superintendent was actually not there to join into the festivities, but to put a stop to them!
He gets this weird stutter when he gets all mad... He was almost turning pink.
A local dog ended up dragging off my mail satchel to get the dog bones inside.
That really got him going as well.
damn Premier