Monday, November 12, 2012

need new vacuum

Do i buy online and waffle over various reviews typed in by paid rubes and disgruntled maniacs.  For example one of the bad reviews when on and on and then pointed out that the attachment could barely reach the ceiling (which happened to be 9 feet).  So essentially i am spending time reading the writings of some damn fool that vacuums their ceiling... wow.  The other alternative is to go into a store and suffer the presence of a vacuum salesperson.  Knowledgeable, perhaps, but not necessarily, pushy probably, able to generate a spell that hangs and haunts the room moaning "just buy and get the fuck out of here".  To me there is nothing more annoying than being the "customer " in the sales job... i personally don't find any part of it fun or even remotely amusing.  Well i guess that time when we were buying the Toyota Matrix and i was driving and getting a little tired of that pandering car salesman telling me how smart i was for asking basic questions... then i just stomped on the accelerator  and his eyes nearly popped out of the sockets, he was frantically waving his arms saying please don't hurt the car.  It was funny, and when we got back to the lot he was kind of hyperventilating but he also stayed focus on task as he had a sale to reel in.  He told me the light that said the car was locked was an alarm... i asked him how to work the alarm, and he told me i was smart and then pointed out that this car will tell you the temperature outside and inside.. pretty smart eh!

I might even choose swimming in the freezing Ocean over going and dealing with a vacuum salesperson... at least then i would be thinking about how fucking cold i am and that maybe standing in a vacuum sales department listening to utter gibberish ain't that bad.

Vacuum's are bastards... so many designs, so many cheap fucking flimsy parts... i need stairs i need carpet in need hardwood floor.  rather than make a vacuum that is solid and powerful the vacuum industry is into "micro markets".  This particular piece of shit will somewhat suck some crumbs off your hardwood floor until the time the warranty runs out and then it will crack blowing dust everywhere and then burst into flames taking the neighbourhood with it.

Used vacuum? What if there is a bed bug in that vacuum? As dad use to say, one step forward and 4 steps backward.  Lets put it this way, being an uninformed consumer is worse than being a fish and chips eating ass hole under a flock of seagulls in my books...  But what does it mean to be informed with all of this information that is actually carefully crafted bull shit to sway my opinion?   But i need a vacuum.  I hate decisions... i will make the decision and forever regret it.  I can make art decisions much better, this should go like this, but i guess you get to craft the answer... in the world of vacuum sales you just try to find the least flawed product and hope that you don't get a lemon to avoid dealing with customer service than can always bring up the stroke risk.

Even the idea that somebody will try to sell me an extended warranty, using fear tactics, will irritate me beyond belief.  so i buy a warranty and then shit goes down and somebody finds a way for the warranty to be void... well i guess i should put the recycling and compost out... any ideas?

1 comment:

The Mule said...

Had a surprisingly pleasant experience buying our vacuum. We couldn't find the exact one we wanted, but the salesman cut us a deal on a model that someone had just returned—still in the box, valid warranty, etc. Score.