The reality is, i might actually be totally unemployable... what can i say, I'm a "glass half empty" kind of guy. It's odd because every job i have ever done people loved me in it. I taught high school Chemistry and Physics at a private school and they asked me to stay on over more qualified applicants because apparently my class was excellent. At the post office I actually got some people phone in and do the opposite of complain about my service. Tree planting and landscape jobs always wanted me back calling me "top shelf all the way". I have an Honours degree from a University and my wife, a world class researcher, picked me to stay home and mind her children. I was once voted Strata Council President ! As a musician i was always welcome back to establishments or events that i had played before...
Sure sure, this is me pumping my tires... usually i like to deflate my tires and then steal my rims which of course is the point of this exercise. Looking pro is not my bag... I find myself thinking "are you fucking kidding me! You really want me to write a resume for that shitty job... you don't think i could do that... i could do that and care for a few infants, prepare for a dinner party and write a song about how stupid your dumb job is".
My problem is probably that i am an expert cheater and swindler... it's not my style anymore, but there was a time in my life where i cheated and swindled my way into pretty much anything. In the end it created a religiously philosophical attitude where i learned you get what you give out of life, so i changed my ways. Since then life has been very good for me, I do what i do, cover my end of the bargains and then a bit extra to keep the karma flowing and all is good. I guess it's about the resume, it's just horse shit... years ago when i needed to find a job i just hired a guy to write the resume and boom i got into the interview... it was as easy as using old exams to study for University exams... just know the answers, who gives a fuck if you know or can do anything. Comes down to my main beef with society... far too many incompetent chuckelheads in positions of employment just gobbling away pecking at their seed and the ball is moved down the field.
It's the B.S. courtship game I'm not too crazy about... hey i just had an idea! I should just contact these bastards and say why don't i come and work for you for a little bit for free, and if your job doesn't irritate the shit out of me and you think i can do it in a competent manner, then lets do this. You see the problem is that i find engaging in phony behaviour hard on the soul, and of course the other problem is that i really have no skills... I can take care of kids, but I'd rather be harpooned than take care of some fools whiny brat... the parent would come and pick up the kid with a list of special treatment items they think their kid deserves, and i would have to tell them that their shitty parenting has created this ass hole child and so now their first order of business is to park their stupid ego and do what's right... I'll just pass.
I guess the thing is to stay away from classified job adds: You read them and you just want to give up automatically. I think about the world today... I just went on leave from a job, cancelled my phone, my gas and my hydro and in every one of these situations there was a major fuck up where somebody or some system was in place to over bill and then under bill and then refund, and then pay and then want money back, and I'm thinking all these people have jobs and nothing works, but maybe at one time their resumes danced to the right tune and they sounded competent. How can everything be fucked but yet resumes are shining somewhere? You can take a course on how to write a resume, but i haven't seen a course on how to be a good employee. Catch my drift?
I can't program a computer, i don't see that ever happening. but i have done things with computers that made people say "wow you are really good at computers, you should teach people" which made me think that "wow you really have no idea what you are talking about". I mean i could talk shit and pretend i know but for sure sooner or later i will be shown as the fool i am. I'm kind of at the stage in my life where I'm not interested in bullshitting... it's just kind of a life value. That's why i think the idea job for me would be a farmer... work real hard and use what you have, when and where you have and be judged on your product... except of course society is set up to punish farmers and favour corporate farms. Perhaps i mentioned before i was a useless salesman... somewhere in this blogoshpere there is probably a few stories about how i worked as a stereo salesman, and it turned out badly.
The problem is I'm not skilled enough to work on the high end of the corporate ladder and many people i know are... they are paid quite well and so insanity is part of the gig.. I would then be on the bottom end of the pay scale where suffering the lunacy is not as ideal. Insufferable perhaps... I think i want to be a farmer... maybe i can propagate blueberries and sell them to somebody who gives a damn.
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