If i had a hammer

Should a man really be up until 4am trying to bounce track 3 and 4 to track 7 and 8, and then go to bed unsuccessful even after following the instructions?  I mean instructions are weird bastards... way too much info on the errant puffery and then at a crucial step something kind of gets sideways mentioned about some process that you should really know about.

I mean if i go and buy a hammer from the hardware store, bring it home, line up a nail and the thing surprises me with an unexpected and un-called for random back kick that knocks out my front tooth, am i then suppose to go an wade through a manual to find out how to shut off the random back kick feature of my new hammer? I guess i have to do it, cause teeth are expensive here in America... ahh there it is under functions in Menu 19... there it is on.  You wonder why somebody would put that feature in the hammer, but you know kids today... they listen to the trance music, which gives them the brain damage.

So there, i have my hammer and my nail, and my hockey helmet with face mask for good measure and it's time to get down to business... but the damn hammer won't hit the nail, are you fucking kidding me?  Oh wait i guess i need to pre enable this function... there we go, i enable the bastard, and to be honest I'm a little hot right now so i point the hammer at the nail and it leaps out of my hands hits the nail sideways and then drives it bent over into the pristine fir sideboard doing damage and causing more rage.  After another hour pouring over the fucking instructions it seems i had enabled the "bend the nail but keep smashing it into the wood sideways", also known as the "drunken carpenter" function.

Now i have to go online for help, cause that's what we do now... of course a youtube video with a man relaxing in a recliner as a hammer flies around and constructs a whole house for him as he naps in and out of consciousness.  It's a 15 minute video and the intro is 3 minutes long, and i think if i had my old hammer that nail would have been in in 4 seconds.

life was once easier

Apparently you can mention people in your blog using google +.   Just a nice little neat fucking ass hole thing technology has brought us.  I for one miss the limited options of the Luddite world and no where is it more present than with recording technology.  There is now always a maze of options one has to wade through to choose the simple thing, and often times the simple thing is no longer available.  I think if this current technology was around when we were cutting our teeth making 4 track recordings it never would have happened.  Rather than getting down to the business of laying down the song Gibbering fool, we would have been confused by menus of options, trying desperately to get out of the pre set options and into some representation of an analogue type setting.  By the time we got there the spirit of the music would be clouded by the rage of the programming and the spirit of the song would be lost.

If you wanted to re zero your start point you pushed the button by the counter and rolled... now you read a manual and scratch your head and wonder how the fuck some simple operation can become so complicated.  Almost every recording program i have used since the 4-track leaves me in a check mate position after a few moves, and so you end up going on line and watching some video of some long haired clown talking about how easy it is and what a great machine you have, but they never get to your problem, so you lose more time and get farther away from the process... less playing more menu searching... next thing you know you figure if i just reformat the card we can get out of this unfortunate situation where track 2 repeats itself for 11 minutes making your 3 minute song 11 minutes long.  So you reformat the card and start again cause it's easier... on the bright note you are better at the song this time, and you get the chance to make a few alterations by starting over, but it destroys the idea of laying demo's down while you are hot... playing hot that is, not enraged hot.

In other news we went to a trampoline place the other day, and to keep with the theme, lets just say that i am not as malleable as i once was.  It would be fair to say that i am stiff and heavy and brittle.  You see there are trampolines on the walls so with a bit of skill you can bounce, bounce, bounce on the trampoline squares and then bounce off the wall, and do a flip and bounce back, which is exactly what i saw somebody do, and it looked fun and easy so i tried it. I should have seen that the trouble i was having just bouncing in between the trampolines (with hard bars covered with thin foam) was not going to translate well for my eventual flip.  indeed when i did hit the wall trampoline it was less then graceful, and my angle was all wrong.  Of course the trampoline just rockets you back on the trajectory defined by the simple physics of the jump... this i clearly hadn't studied so my family and other onlookers were treated to a most awkward landing on my shoulder with the rotater cuff injury. 

Being a proud man i got back on my feet and tried to make it seem all right.  Perhaps I'll just bounce here for a bit and try the old land on your back and spring back to your feet.  I'm pretty sure i stalled my heart on that maneuver.  Just then one of my daughters flies off the wall and lands gracefully on her feet... i try to smile and give the thumbs up by my arm doesn't move. 

Over in another area you can bounce into a pile of foam blocks... good for flips.  Just try to get out of the foam blocks with one arm.  You are kind of upside down whiffing sweat odoured foam trying to right 200 pounds holding up the line.  It looked fun and while I was doing a flip in the air it was fun but seeing a crowd watch me feebily crawling out of a pit took me down a notch.  You know me though... i paid my money and i will get this down. no matter how much it costs me in future pain. 

Lets go into a little gun interlude

There i was walking to school, to pick up my 3 kids, and strangely enough the idea that somebody might be in the hallway with an assault rifle popping off rounds into my neighbours and our children was there in my head.  In the normal Robertson dream sequences i play it through in my head... I have no gun... i will have to bum rush the bastard on foot, leap tackle him, make sure his head smashes concrete as we land and then fuck that bastard up.  In reality i would probably be shot 40 times when  i got within 8 feet of the swine, but even in the dream sequence i imagine myself dogging the bullets somehow.

The question then becomes at what time did it become rational for a parent on the way to school to pick up his child in grade 3, and two in Kindergarten to be actively planning a counterattack on a gunman.  I mean the next logical step is to go out and get a conceal and carry permit and have a loaded gun on my person at all times, so that i will be ready to deal with a situation like such if it should come up.  Sure maybe i have a better chance if i have a loaded weapon on my person, but i would argue that having a loaded weapon on my person changes my person in the direction of the negative.

I still get the flying hugs after school front the twins... I'd be like "easy easy, we have that loaded gun there, just in case".   Pretty good guarantee my wife would be violently against me parading around with a gun "just in case", i might actually get a more favourable reaction if i chopped a tree down on the property, and we know that doesn't go well at all.

But that is the gun answer right... if everybody had a gun then there would be a proper counter attack.  OK i see that logic, but there are still a lot of bullets flying around in the school hallways... Hmmm... think, think, think!  I'm thinking the goal is nobody under any circumstances goes and sprays up a round of bullets anywhere... and of course the last place a shooting spree should ever occur is in an elementary school... the last refuge of the innocent.

Part of me might want to say that somebody if they are up for a massacre should go and try to shoot up an NRA meeting... at least these people are kind of waiting for that to happen and will be ready for the battle.  Not that i condone attacking anyone for any reason at all.   But these attackers always go for the unarmed and then turn their gun on themselves... what is behind that?

My guess might be that our whole society is a fraud... bankers rewarded for ruining people, companies rewarded for destroying the planet, obvious truths denied, money over integrity every time... i mean it's pretty easy to see and then there is the whole glorified violence angle.  I mean i haven't watched TV in 2 decades, and i have never played killing video games, but i do know that the one time i got into martial arts for a bit i spent a lot of time thinking about fighting, which is why i never pursued it further.

To be honest I'm not sure gun control will work... the guns are out there already... control only works if people abide by it.  There are plenty of illegal things out there that i could get my hands on very quickly if i pursued them.  That said i wouldn't be against gun control, i just see it as some major annoying fight that will drag on forever with morons claiming insanities and other morons being "shocked and frightened" and the whole lunatic machine just spinning.

There is just no way that this stuff should ever happen, much less become routine, it is fucking asinine.

Justin Trudeau and the long gun registry

National insanity is occurring yet again... big surprise right.  To make a long story mid sized, a Canadian Government (the Liberals), back when they were in power and the Country had a surplus rather than a deficit, like the current one created by the  current "fiscally responsible" Conservatives, which happens to be a coalition of the old "Reform party" and the "Conservative party" now known as the Harper Government.  Well the Liberals, in an ill advised movement to curb gun crime created this thing called the Long Gun registry... people who had long barreled guns were required to register them with the Government... a move that cost money and angered gun owners.  Many people supported this, as did Mr. Trudeau, but the registry was scrapped when the Conservatives came into power as quick as scientific reason.

Did i mention Trudeau is the son of a vary famous former Canadian Prime minister (for the Americans out there).  Well you see, Justin Trudeau is now running for the leadership of the Liberal party, and went on record as saying that the Long Gun registry was a failure, which of course, set off a chorus of "flip flop" from the opposition.  You see he supported it, but now by calling it a failure, he is flip flopping... but wait!  It has been scrapped, just like the Experimental Lakes Area and the data is being destroyed... sounds like a failure to me.  You have a program and it is scrapped, therefore it failed.

Now i don't really have an opinion on the long gun registry as per say... i think if i was living in Canada and i wanted to get me a gun and go do a gun crime, i think i could pull it off, but I'm not one for guns, or crime for that matter.  I believe in living good, and doing good to others... I also believe in calling a failure a failure.  My music career has been a failure, and i believe i have called it such on many of an occasion, but i still support it, and believe in it.  The bone fact is that i have sold less music than the money i have put into it... that is an economic failure, and I'll blood any bastard that tries to tell me otherwise... don't worry i might be doing better than you so don't feel bad for me... it just is what it is.

Now my political beliefs are pretty fucking far to the side where we shut down this garbage creating economy and start living right within our means, but i know that ain't going to happen, as we are consumers after all... it is a name human civilians answer to.

Sure in my life, when the Liberals were in power we had good economies, whatever the fuck that means, but the Government had money, and at least pretended to listen to scientific wisdom.  And when the Conservatives were in power deficits ballooned.. just an actual observation people.  I think i voted  Green last time... silly me concerned with the air I need to sustain me and my families life over the shotgun sale of our countries resources.

What a time we live in when a man can call a spade a spade, and be hammered as a flip flopper... it fucking failed, it is no more.

Right and wrong is not passing and failing... for example, you could pledge to join a fraternity way back when... an nice W.A.S.P. ass hole thing to do, and your initiation might be to go steal something... if you steal it you succeed, and if you don't you fail.  Only the criminal in jail is a failure, cause he failed to beat the system. 

If we want to change the system, I'm first in line, but as we know the people who run the system are doing quite well for themselves, and one of the many proofs is in the fact that a politician, and the media, and the fools that believe the media are easily drawn into a "character" debate on a politician who called a spade a spade, even though he played a spade in the card game he lost.  What's next claiming victory after losing an election? 

I guess in this world we have had claiming victory before an election that you are about to lose, but hey, why look at history when you can just make up tomorrow?