I eneded up finding an alley

Now for some good advice urinate on your tomatoes... of course you probably just want to get the urine to the roots, but it got me thinking along the lines of public urination... not that i think that people should be pissing all over the place, but then again. Like for example, today i was in the park with the kids and i had been up early @ the gym sucking back the water and then home hitting the coffee, and then in the park after picking my eldest up from school... the three kids wanted to play in the park, which was a good idea, but i had to piss like an owl with 2 dicks. this put me in a very uncomfortable position for a very long period of time... packing up everybody to go piss was a half hour job and we were in the playground beside my child's new school with various parents and teachers around, and the last thing we need of course is to carry around the curse of the "naked Robertson" for another decade in a new group, but at the same time i couldn't help think that the best thing i could do for some of those trees is give them a good shot of fixed nitrogen... but that would be wrong and obscene of course. It got me thinking about the whole problem however. Humans in first world countries are required by law to piss into a receptacle of treated drinking water to be flushed into a sewer system for treatment. while i do agree that as a general population we are to stupid, lazy and self centered to handle a proper piss program in the community, but let's digress anyway.

It's always the far away hidden corners that take the heavy pissing and are more inclined to smell like urine, which would be the #1 point of attack for a brilliant plan like the one i'm about to lay down.

Trees in the park should have near by an affixed abacus type apparatus that the good citizens could keep track of the "piss frequency"... a simple solution could be 10 beads on a string and after a piss at the base of the tree one could move a bead over... also note that one should piss on the ground and not on the side of the tree... that way by working together we could make sure the trees and source of fixed nitrogen get a "fair shake". this could be a great boon to the trees as they are suffering from the fact that their leaves always get removed so they loose that opportunity to regenerate that source of nutrients.

Now I'm sure you would have groups of smart asses moving beads in an effort to deceive the community and perhaps the odd jackass that might loos his fucking mind and drop a #2 in the park, although given the amount of dog shit around here it might actually go unnoticed.

I know i know, it's not the kind of thinking that your regular pencil necked paranoid stiff would be comfortable with, but it makes sense on a number of levels.