There we were. Me and young Emily just 8 months old and a Lawyer in the kitchen waiting for CT to come home and just shooting the shit. I take it she was my age and was even from my home town... a perfect working example of how different peoples lives are. I should have offered her a joint after my 5th request to forge CT's signature failed... She was in disbelief and Emily wanted to eat the documents.

Like any Bank fiasco this whole thing started a long time ago when the bank "manager" called and offered to set up and "easy" Home equity line of credit. we opposed the idea but they kept calling... OK we will take your stupid line of credit, perhaps it would be easier than having you fucking Jackals circling our existence.

We should know by now that the insanity of a Bank knows no bounds. you would think that since that bank has our business (mortgage, 2 credit cards, 4 bank accounts) they could just set it up... and yes it would be no problem, because remember this... going into a bank to meet with a hammerhead with 2 infant twins is never worth it. I should mention they said it would be free.

So they get the go ahead (from us) to put it together... "well OK then set it up" then muttering "for fuck's sakes".

I think the first disaster was having to have a property appraiser come over to the house to appraise it... which is odd seeing that we just bought the house last year and they were willing to give us far more mortgage than we needed and even more that this line of credit will apparently be. This is solid proof that there is nobody thinking... just an idiot following a policy that essentially say's SELL MORE LOANS and other financial products. So the appraiser show up and rings the doorbell just after the twins go to sleep... you can do the math on that one. Did i mention i have an large rational fear of credit... i was going to say "insane fear of credit", but it is actually rational if you think right.

so then weeks later we get urgent calls from the bank that we need to rush over to sing the documents which turned out to be another grand irritation that ended with us on a bus and a lot of crying but the kicker is after the documents were signed we learned of 2 fee's that totaled over 700 dollars... one of them the band would wave and the other one we could get waived if we borough 30, 00 for at least 3 months, but those bank people are so wise and so quick they thought up a plan and they thought it up quick... you see we could put 30, 000 in a term deposit and then put it back after the 3 month period. i really felt like they were doing me such a favor... because you know there won't be any chance of a screw up!

And then back to the lawyer who came over with some final documents... you can understand why CT had forgotten about the whole thing. She was probably changing a couple of diapers when the phone rang and it was some lawyer who needed her to come and sign even more fucking documents for something for all intensive purposes we don't need and don't want.

In my chat with the lawyer i tried to explain all of this, and why it seems so foolish and irritating if you see it from our perspective, which i don't thing she could do. But the killer was after i explained all of this and i signed my portion of the forms she reached into her bag and said that the Bank wanted me to looks at this... IT WAS AN INSURANCE POLICY!

what the fuck?