My injuries are substantial

I was in yoga today and the teacher, or spiritual guru was asking if anybody had any injuries... after a couple of softies beaked off about their little problems i decided to stay quiet. Spiritual caring, tree loving, tea drinkers try to get to the root of the problem... where the root of my problem happened to be a finals hockey game in which our team was grossly outmatched... but we had our chances. Sometimes you have to create chances with violent collisions with 200lb plus men going full steam in an effort to injure one another. We played the referee team, and lets just say, as the saying goes... doctors make the worst patients. To get the picture one of their players speared one of our players in the groin and then bitch talked him as he was writhing on the ice in pain. Lets just say it was the most Canadian like game i have played in the U.S.A. There is not really a part of my body that is not damaged so how to mention that casually at the start of a yoga class and then go through the scenarios of each injury in front of a class while caring, kale chip eating people listen with confusion. You see yoga is about achieving inner peace, while hockey is about releasing inner rage. Or at least you practice yoga better in a state of calm, and perhaps play hockey better with a burr under your saddle if you know what i mean. In the dying minutes of a close game the yogi might look at the positive, while the hockey player is looking to settle a few scores. You see all the people in the yoga class seemed so happy to be there and ready to embrace the soothing words of our guru that i felt it unnecessary to point out that the reason my shoulder is in agony was that i had to remove a 220lb man from the puck in a mad scramble in front of the net... and the man was trying to kill me. It's just not your average yoga mindset... also my thumb was numb from a slash, I blocked a slap shot with my pinky and i took a clearing attempt in the groin which worked out well for a moment until i rung the puck off the crossbar. You see i didn't wake up with a little sore body part... I'm an old man who can't let go of the competitive spirit, and i am wounded, and when i am in my pose breathing deeply i am hating all the wrongs i feel were scored against me. Not sure the rest of the class would be able to jive on this tangent... and i don't want to bring them down... if i feel pain i just man it up and carry on. I realize it's better to go the other way but I'm not really there yet... even as we are relaxing in one of those poses i can't remember the name of my mind is racing... "what was that song part.. whoa this is a good saying... that son of a bitch doesn't get another free shot at me". For sure, this is not what my practice needs to be, but it is what it is, and the only way to get to the root about this problem is to be honest about it. I have spent a fair bit of my life addressing issues with respect to garbage creating (try to make no garbage), refuse to commute by car under any circumstance, being totally anti consumerist... many of the left wing tree hugging pinko traits.  But i am also living in this other life where i need to respect my own self like i respect the planet and the creatures that live on it... minus the squirrels of course.  Fucking squirrel... did i mention my loon neighbour calls the squirrel "pumpkin" and then gives him a nut which he then goes and buries under my bean plant in effect killing it.

So i live with 4 crazy women, who mock me with my squirrel hate, and try to play the "be good to everything" card on me.  But yet one of those women just went and bought a fly swatter... WHAT TO KILL PESTS!  Where did the love go?  Where is your compassion for God's creatures?

As we say in hockey the best defense is a good offense.

Actually the best defense is a good defense... and any Yogi with their head centered in a good pose can see that clearly, but in a close game you do what you can when you can.  Truth is i am still haunted by every chance i missed in every close game i played... it's just the way it goes.