A new Library in America

 In these hard times of library closings and box store openings, my wife, doing what she always does, did the change she wants to see in the world.  It has been a long time coming since she first envisioned creating a community library and this weekend we had our grand unveiling party.  We provided some refreshments and some snacks and asked people to bring 2 books that they think are good books.  I imagine that we will become obsessed with making sure there are good books in this library and not a dumping ground for peoples old Microsoft 2003 owners manuals.

Our good neighbours came up big loading up the library with many excellent books, and a good time was had by all. 

 Moments after a quick speech on the importance of books and the importance of reading CT yanked off the white sheet exposing the library to great cheers... and then the kids got in there to grab a book.

 For the record we are now as a household interested in receiving book donations... clearly to maintain some good reading material it would be wise to have a collection of fine literature so that we can amend this literary supply.

Me being a natural maniac had visions of a sign out sheet and perhaps as the sequence goes into the absurd i show up at somebodies house who has a book out for too long... i saunter in say "he how's it going"... "Nice lamp... is it yours", and the person replies "why yes it is one of my favourite pieces".  I then swat the lamp on the floor watching it smash... "damn shame" i say and then pause... as the home owner gulps and tears well up i casually bring up the over due book.   I guess that's my character in the TV series Portlandia... the library Nazi.

I won't do that of course... I've always been more of an egging kind of guy.  i can see it now, I'll be walking to school with the kids and somebody will be talking about how their house got egged late last night... perhaps i could say "were they organic eggs, oh by the way are you done with that book you took from the library", and then give them a stern eyeballing.

Probably a safe bet my wife would be against an egging of a house down the block, so lets just keep this between you me and the internet OK.

Did i mention some moron brought "The tale of Squirrel Nutkin" by Beatrix Potter, for the library... everybody thought that one was funny as I'll get out... just laughing it up. Apparently it's a good book however... I have it and will read it to the twins as they are very eager to hear a story about a squirrel read by me.

Hey it's great, anything to get people interested in books, the more books we can get in our heads the better neighbourhood we will have.

In fact a local school librarian stopped by the other day and complimented the selection of books we had, she took 4 and said she will come back with 4 good books... I gave her a hug, which was really a cover to plant a tracking device on her backside.

I'm joking of course.  This is a pure experiment in doing good for the sake of doing good, to inspire doing good, putting good ideas in peoples heads and bettering the community.

I was actually in Powell's books the other day, as it is across the street from my kids "do Jump" activity and i think i will approach them.  Perhaps they might end up with some "damaged" but highly readable books from time to time.. is it possible for those books to end up in a community library?    Is it one of those situations where a book store has to send back the cover to the publisher to redeem credit for the book?  If so, a good book without a cover is still a good book.

In our library there are 3 shelves, adult books, kids books.. and i was thinking Canadian books.  Perhaps i can get donations from Dave Bidini, Grant Lawrence, Jenn Farrell, Aaron Chapman, Brian Kaufman... Canadian authors and publishers i kind of know. Dare to dream Robertson, dare to dream.

I have been throwing some music in there as well.. so far 4 CD's i made have disappeared.  I will be feeding the library various Canada Lynx Records albums, because i have them, and i think they are good.  Well i probably won't put the Chicken EP in there, but you never know.

I might put some excess garden produce by the library come high garden production time.. it could be a good place to share fresh organic produce.  I like that idea... somebody goes out for a walk and gets a good book and some healthy food.. you could make somebodies day with that kind of action.  And if you can make somebodies day then you just might inspire positive change

On another level it has been neat seeing the books coming and going... sometimes you just want to read a random book and now i have a stash of them in my front yard... my kids go out and play in the tree and grab a book... all three of them were in the tree reading a book, or at least looking at it (in the twins case).  This can't be bad on any level, and i am having more conversations with the local folk who stop in front of our house.  Just a little thing that was fun to do.

Fluoride in the drinking water...

So i went to the dentist today for a little of the old poke and stab at my gums.  My first trip to a non Canadian dentist...  "Oh you didn't grow up here i see"... "you must have come from a place where they put Fluoride in the water" my dentist tells me looking at my teeth for a second.  Yes this is correct.

You see the city of Portland Oregon is about to vote over a measure to put Fluoride in the drinking water.  This is clearly a divisive concept, with many calling to keep the clean water clean, and others rallying for the dental health of the poor and disadvantaged.

Funny thing i saw the other day... people with vote no to Fluoridation chemicals signs asking people to honk their car horns in support of clean water.  People driving a polluting vehicle solo in a car honking a horn because they care so much about the environment.  I always like a good irony alert.

Now as a scientist i look for the right answer... is it a good idea?  We do know that there are chemicals in the drinking water already right... like chlorine right around the same spot on the periodic table... of course if there wasn't chlorine in the water we would have to install more toilets in the city because people would have the shits due to beaver fever.

You see sometimes a little toxin can be a benefit, but in this world of misinformation and false ideas of personal choice people can get a little squirrely.  I have tried to look at both sides of the issue, and since i can't vote, as i am not a citizen, i search the truth.   I think from everything i have  read and heard, from talking to dentists and nurses who have had to put young children under anaesthetic  to have their teeth pulled, to talking to anti-fluoride advocates and reading articles i would error on the side of putting fluoride in the drinking water, as a public health service.  It's hard to see a financial advantage to doing it... it doesn't cost much, but it will probably save money in health care.  If you were a skeptic, like i am, you might think that dentists would be against it so that they could get more business, but the dentist i talked to seemed rather keen on compassionate grounds.

Remember people are against vaccinations claiming that they don't work, which is utter nonsense if you were to actually look at the history of humanity and deadly diseases.  Go tell a diabetic that an insulin shot is a waste of time and a conspiracy.   Next time you get strep throat why don't you pass on the antibiotics and do a cleanse instead?

Don't get me wrong, i realize that the people of this world have been misled about the truth of things time and time again, so why would you believe what the authorities tell you?  I totally get that.  It poses a real problem when it comes time to do the right thing... what is the right thing?

The freedom trip in this country is a wonderful source of irony.   Everybody wants to be free to call their own shots, but you can't really.  If you have a medical condition you might not be able to ever quit your job and get another one and be covered for medical insurance.  How fucking free is that?  You are chained to your position in life or risk bankruptcy.  I guess as long as you are healthy you are free to move about without a safety net in a world that is spewing toxins left right and center for the good of the economy.  But if you want to put a little dental enhancement in the water... that is an outrage.

Our kids chew fluoride pills... i think it is safe to say that the scientific data is rather conclusive that fluoride is a positive with respect to dental health.  Sure there are other studies that state otherwise but there is also pages on creation science

n.

1. The effort to provide scientific evidence supporting the account of the creation of the universe related in the Bible.

2. Creationism.

I say to the people who start wars using religious political capitol that put depleted uranium in their bombs to fester on our earth creating everlasting toxins... next time you call for a war have the physicists  from the creation science department design your warplanes,  missiles and killing machines... but you wouldn't do that cause you know then that it's bullshit. 

did we just get on a war rant off a fluoride blog?  I guess we did... ahh but then we got into the mis-information campaign. 

I'd rather not put more chemicals into the water system for sure, but i think a little fluoride might really help some people out... but do they drink water from the tap?  Remember others are against that and like nice safe water that is trucked around in a diesel vehicle and sits in a "safe" plastic container... because they care about the environment.

Hockey Post

Thought i would title the post as that so if you find yourself categorized as a sensitive artist who is against sports talk then you can avoid it.  I know, the league fleeces it's fool consumers to record levels... they don't get my money, but neither do the credit card companies or the shopping malls...

So let's talk Toronto and Vancouver... my two hometown teams ( also noted that the Portland Winterhawks advanced in the whl playoffs).   Now the trade deadline is tomorrow and there is talk of trading a Vancouver goalie to Toronto.  Personally i think that's a bad move for both clubs.   I don't think Toronto will give up a lot for Luongo (the goalie in question), and ultimately their goalies have been performing pretty good.  It seems that in the past years some goalies have come out of the woodwork to play excellent hockey when it mattered most... Brayden Holtby a rookie goalie for the Washington capitals ousted the Cup champs the Boston Bruins in 7 games in the first round of the playoffs last year, and then took the Rangers to game 7 where they lost 1-0.  Jaroslav Halak led the Canadians on a Cinderella run in 2010.  Point is you never really know who is going to get red hot at the right time.  Leafs have 2 goalies who have played well and deserve the chance to shine.

On the other side of the coin we have Vancouver, who have 2 excellent goalies... now if you trade one of them and get little in return and the other goalie gets injured, like Dwayne Roloson was in game one of the  2006 Stanley Cup finals, then having 2 great goalies will come in handy... the Edmonton Oilers didn't have that luxury and lost in 7 games in the final. It is a situation that would be ultimately unacceptable should they trade Luongo and Cory Schneider were to get injured. 

Now both teams have played 36 games and have 44 points each, Toronto actually has one more victory... who would have bet on that?

If Toronto makes the playoffs and perhaps win's a round the city will be very happy as they haven't seen the playoffs in a long long time, while Vancouver's window to win it may be closing... meaning missing the playoffs or making an early exit will heed the call for head's to roll.

So if I'm Vancouver do i want to part with a good goalie (with a huge contract) to get little in return, when that goalie, working in tandem with the other goalie,  may actually give my team the best chance to win.

If I'm Toronto the risk is less... we have money we can buy him out if it doesn't work out, but perhaps you risk tampering with the chemistry your young team is generating, and robbing these up and comers of the chance to play meaningful playoff games, which could hurt their experience.

It's a pretty long bet that the Toronto maple leafs are winning the cup this year... never say never of course, but i would say the young team should go in there as a unit to see what they are made out of and learn.

Vancouver... it's a compact busy season, and apparently it was the long grind that wore them down a few years ago, so maybe having two top goalies and playing them both during the playoffs makes more sense than getting rid of one for little immediate help in return.

that's what i think

various random thoughts

Impostor syndrome- had a neat discussion about this disorder after giving somebody a window into my mind... always good to get a fine psychoanalysis while working the B.B.Q... and i mean that, even though i realize that statement might be humerus.. i mean humorous.   OK i went too far on that one and it took too much googling to get it right.  By the way Google accepts the word googling.   Why wouldn't it?  The canada Lynx records dictionary has it's own code as well.

Where was i?  Oh yes psychological disorders...  The competent person who see's them self as never really knowing enough, deals with the incompetent person, who is incompetent, and thus not able to understand they they are incompetent.   This always ends badly as one might be able to predict.

The interesting thing, to me, is that i never thought of an incompetent as not understanding their incompetence.  There is a neat line there because often with incompetent people you assign malice to their incompetence and think they are a hater, but really they are just a dummy bumbling along unaware of the chaos they are causing, always wondering why one of their ideas didn't work out and chalking it up to bad luck.  Where the competent person (with imposture syndrome) is aware of all of what they don't know and that preys on the brain's insecurities and causes one to think they don't know what they are doing so maybe they should listen to the incompetent who's gums are flapping.

I've never been one to suffer fools gladly, which is odd because i like to play the fool often times... it's about the comedy.  But this discussion has given me some clarity on some levels... for example:  A highly intelligent (which i am not) person who is very rarely wrong will often not be able to see when they are wrong because it hardly ever happens and so they can't recognize the feeling.  It might not be that deep down they are arrogant ass holes, but just unable to concieve that they are wrong (in their own head). Not an act of malice, but one of ignorance, which they don't recognize and have ever learned to deal with.

For a moment i was thinking of doing a psychology degree, but then i remembered how fucking annoying that might become sitting in a large class of incompetent people each one of them trying to sound intelligent while i start hating their heads... visualizing a shark attacking them and bursting out laughing, which in turn might stop the dialouge and turn attention to myself being asked to explain my outburst and then explaining how i was envisioning a shark attack a small percentage of the class is highly amused, many are perplexed, some are angered and many are confused... and I'm that guy.

let's move on... I'm just having fun here people

I think I'll be playing a show tomorrow... it's a strange twist of fate, but that's how i roll.

I'm not going to tell you why, cause it's not too important to this particular line of thought... let's just say an outside force has prodded me to play some music live for a good reason.  Good reasons being reasons that are good, of course.    So it's been a while since i have set out to book a show... now i learned from my Railway residency that if you want something you should just ask for it... so i set out on the street to get a gig in short notice.  I went to the neighbourhood places, cause if it works out and i get a spot to play i don't want to commute, plus the only people i know are in the hood... and i just think life should be that way.   So i go into show booker mode, but i have an ace up my sleeve i think to myself.  If you let me play here, you will get something good out of it, this i know... you will get publicity, the engine that turns the business world.  Don't think I'm on some high horse here, I'm just a player at the table that got dealt a good hand one day and is ready to double up.  The weird thing is i have kind of been in a semi-retirement for a year and a bit.  But i know life, and i have seen it's paths and when an opportunity is presented to you you can meet it or find a reason why you can't. 

Maybe it's a one time thing, maybe not.

The odd thing is the mindset i have gone through with regards to putting on a show... for one six hour period i was convinced that a 15 minute man show was required playing a few songs and some garden planting advise was the ticket... then when i ran into venues that might not be ready for me and busy with people who wanted to converse i was thinking i would just mime a set... which could represent the declining spirit and failure of the modern song smith as seen in this world troubled by rage, division, distraction and commerce. 

Has that been done?  Has anybody mimed a music set?  I'm sure it's a good idea... maybe one for Portlandia.  I have a few for them actually. 

I think "team"...  I'm like, i have a proposition for you... you need to let me do this here and this is what you will get... lets figure out what this is... let's make it weird,  and good, it can be short, it's not about me, it's about us.  It's hard to grasp... most people trying forcefully to get a gig usually think they might be owed something.  So when a guy comes in with an idea they go through many of the musician based paranoia's... it can't be amplified!!!  They say that because too many jackasses came in there and played at the decibel level of a jet engine... well they needed to rock and you can't take that from them right?  There are many paranoia's, all of them justified.

The interesting thing is me getting a set together and thinking about including some of the new songs i have recorded and written about Portland.  Writing a song on an 8 track and performing it solo in front of an audience that is not expecting you are 2 different things... but these are good struggles to have as a song curator.  I use to swear by it... play songs live to develop them... it is a good idea for sure.  It's just that not playing live is so good for my soul, or at least has been.  But i am the caretaker of these songs, i need to do what's best for them, so this opportunity has re engaged that debate. 

I don't believe in the "music scene", sorry, people out for themselves trying to pretend they care cause it will look good on them.  It's not a music thing, it's a human thing, of course there are exceptions and i have no ill will towards anyone, we are all just doing what we are doing for the reasons that seem right in our heads... and that's the way it should be.

Maybe i play music live this weekend... why? 

Because.

When the Money's gone

So far so good in terms of song releases... I got the first one out February 12, and now the second on March 12.

Seeing that the Ziop Pobertson PR stunt missed it's mark in terms of fine comedy I'll just let this one float out there.  There was a time i was going to have Ziop try to defend himself as a publicist by going up against a goldfish, proving that he is a better publicist than the goldfish, and therefore not the worst publicist in the world... i think it's funny, but i probably stand alone only to be written off as wacky old Super Robertson again.

Is it a good idea to have your music publicity as a joke? If you think in your heart that the music business is a joke in itself, does it make a difference?  These are the predicaments i find myself in from time to time.

Some dude was in a suit and tie (professional attire) when he proclaimed that global warming was a left wing conspiracy theory designed to part rich people from their money... an utterly ridiculous statement, given human nature.  Lets think about it for a second... if you are going to propagate a conspiracy theory aren't you going to want to gain money for yourself and your buddies? Like for example "lets start a brazenly illegal and immoral war so we can funnel money into industries that we will profit from", or "lets change the laws so that somebody cannot re-use their seeds from their crops but are forced to buy seeds from our company", or "hey we have this highly addictive product that will kill it's users, so we will just deny that we know it's addictive and destructive and carry on".

I just don't get how "Hey we are going to destroy the planet that is imperative to our survival as humans if we don't halt these insanely destructive practices" compares?  How does the scientist, who does unbiased, fact based work, benefit from trying to alert humanity of the grave dangers that certain activities will cause to our "living system"?  If anything he or she will get fired for speaking up against corporate interest... so where is the motivation?  Is it just the truth?

If you understand evolution are you against religion or are you just blessed with logical reasoning?  Maybe you can be logical and still enjoy the community that a church or religious practice provides.

If you protest when your country makes mistakes that will cost future generations severely (say you have children) are you a terrorist?  Or should you just go to your assigned protest pen off the beaten path and hold your sign that nobody will see to participate in the "new" democracy we have in our first world countries.

And when we fuck the planet up to the point of no repair do we have to listen to some ass hole say "nobody could have foreseen"?

As you can probably tell, I'm tired of this shit so i wrote a song called When the Money's gone asking the simple question... What is our move as a civilization once the corporations have made all of the money on activities harmful to the earth and there is no more money to be made?  Do we actually have to listen to some ass hole say something like "we are not sure that these activities caused this irreconcilable problem", or "nobody could have foreseen".

Its a stinking pile of shit and we all know it, or your salary depends on not knowing it, or you just don't care.


When the Money's gone (words)

Beside a tailing pond, a businessman sings the same old song
We got to destroy this place and move forward and win the race

Oh when the money's gone, can you catch fish in a poison pond?
Oh when the money's gone, do we look like the moon?
The words of a well written lie, the future Prime Minister did deny
Things that we put in the air, could ever harm anyone anywhere

Oh when the money's gone, can you grow food by a poison pond?
Oh when the money's gone, do we look like the moon?

A mighty enterprise fails, all you citizens get out your bails
We got to stick together, they'll flog the mules and then sell the leather

Oh when the money's gone, can you drink from a poison pond?
Oh when the money's gone, do we look like the moon?
Oh when the money's gone, do we breath the stench that lingers on?
Oh when the money's gone, do we look like the moon?

 

by SR

 

 

Independent artist "Super Robertson" stung by botched PR Campaign.

Canada Lynx records Kingpin Super Robertson is having a nice cold "regret-bath" after hiring Music Publicist Ziep Pobertson to promote his new single "Beardman Poets Lock Antlers".   Robertson, who came across Pobertson, by way of a "click add" on a stock traded social media site was promised the sun.  "He actually told me I would be like Icarus, except with metal wings, so they wouldn't melt in the sun... it sounded so cool I just went for it" rued Robertson as he ponders his fate.

Ziep Pobertson apparently guaranteed a viral video, which followed with a guarantee that within weeks Robertson would be playing sold out strip clubs as strippers lined up to get in.  Although there is still time, Robertson thinks he might have been had.

Robertson added, "Considering I had to refinance the house behind my wife's back, I kind of expected the sure thing I was promised with regards to this scheme".  Robertson then went to point out that the whole PR campaign was essentially a very low resolution shit together You Tube video posted a few lame times on Facebook, given one tweet, and not even emailed to anybody.  He also lamented the fact that in the video, Ziop Pobertson, straightened his tie a few too many times.

Ziep P, as he likes to be called, did not comment when he was tagged in a novelty photo at the time this went to press.

Robertson, who was in the corner babbling his lips, had only this to say.... "I need to get this thing off the Internet and start fresh and professional like."

Tuesday February 12, mark the date!

Tuesday February 12, mark the date!

SR

January 28, 2013

On Tuesday February 12, 2013, Super R will be releasing his new single "Beardman Poets Lock Antlers".  It will be the first release under the handle "Super Robertson" from the Canada Lynx Records camp. It will also debut art by the young budding Kaiya Magnolia Robertson (8 years old), who managed to capture the essence of 2 bearded men debating the art of poetry.  The song is constructed on a series of "Robertson logic based truisms" on living well and having fun in life while keeping a keen eye out for karma
The single itself was written and recorded in the newly constructed SR Sanctuary Studios located in Portland Oregon, and will mark Robertson's (pun intended) first commercial release since the 2011 "21 tandem repeats- One little dream".
Beardman Poets Lock Antlers was written on a banjo, an instrument Robertson took to mastering in 2012.
    Beardman Poets Lock Antlers (words)
I'm still young, I'm not old I got to get in from out of the cold
Some things they seem to be philosopher’s debate on what they see
In time let it go, you can't be fighting with the family so
Some are high, some are low time can turn the tables though
You drive but take it slow, just get to where you need to go
In time change your ways, it's not going to happen in a single day
Averagely all the time
If you fight, fight to win, no point sitting back and gambling
Red eyes viscous stare, the best thing to do is get out of there
Protest until the end, the best vote you have is the dough you spend
Many paths you can take, your life is the one you make
Some people get it right, they don't make a living they make a life
Bee’s will fly and birds will sing, just don't go talking with a ding-a-ling

Leafs: Feeling sting of not being "top news item" fire Burke to re-invent the brand.

The foggiest answer one could get for the reason of the dismissal of Brian Burke was that those who run the marketing for the Toronto Maple Leafs feel he wasn't right for the "brand".

Which is odd of course, because it's probably one of the only brands that is immune to being tarnished (from a business profit standpoint) ever, under any circumstances, proven track record.  The Hockey team was just rated by Forbes magazine to be worth a Billion Dollars despite over 40 years of mind boggling dysfunction and failure.

Good to see the marketing men have their priorities straight when it comes to running a hockey team.  Damn shame we will never get to see that HBO special on the Winter Classic... scene opens... Pan shot of Toronto... Narrator- "But Back in Toronto things are anything but calm as Hockey Nation calls for heads to roll after the ugly 8-0 loss in Philadelphia the other night.  A Local paper runs a story attacking the  leafs young goal tending tandem, and team General Manager Brian Burke is anything but amused"... (let camera roll on Burke).

That's the problem with television, it always lets you down.

But really, sources close to Leaf Management: The Rogers and Bell jingle department are rumored to have noticed that Toronto Maple Leaf Google searches had lagged behind "Pure NHL Google search quires" for the third day straight.   That's when veteran jingle smith Ralph Johnstonerbreath, who happened to be writing a song about Bell's new 19G smart phone for the upcoming spring commercial sessions, had the idea that the Leafs should make a big splash to steal the "thunder" from it's rival "NHL corporation", who had booked a press conference that day to announce the ratification of a new deal and to serve a symphonic and tear jerking apology to it's precious fans that it cares so dearly for.

So a 28 million dollar rapid micro study was commissioned asking the simple question "What move can the Leafs make that will cause the biggest splash on news sites with specific reference to news sites branded in the direction of our core company values connected to commerce opportunities".   It was then decided that firing Brian Burke was the direction the board of directors chose after an unfortunate debate on how to publicly "pants" team captain Dion Phaneuf showed no logical avenues for execution.

the latest little twist...

Hate to wade back into my unfortunate antler locking with the idle no more movement after criticising the move to "block transportation routes" as part of their protest, but there are a few things i would like to correct in my original post about this subject that became clear to me after some articulate social media discussion.

I wrote... "Why not clog the Government headquarters, or the industry headquarters that the Government cares about?  Probably because you will be maced, beaten, perhaps shot... is that it?".  Now i did not mean to suggest that out of cowardice, the protesters chose soft targets.  In my head i was thinking "why don't they shut down Parliament by ringing the fucking thing, everybody could get behind that... and then i thought, actually they would be removed pretty quickly on some anti-protest law hidden in some rouge Environmental accountability law".   I guess fair is fair, perhaps there isn't an anti-protest law hidden in an Environmental accountability Law, it might be hidden in the free speech law, or the equal opportunity law.

Sorry getting carried away, but i do apologize to the movement for insinuating  that they took the easy way out by standing on the street protesting.  It is not the easy way out at all, i would argue that it is the hard way down.  I do appreciate people helping me see the light, although something tells me that I'm not going to go far enough.

It reminds me of the feeling i had in my stomach when my place of work was about to go out on strike again, and i mentioned that if we go out on strike we will get killed in that fight.  I received rabid opposition to my position and was generally perceived as a traitor.  So you think we should just take this? This is totally unfair? We have to fight on principle! I would try to explain that 1) When i fight i fight to win only, and 2) Life is unfair get use to it, and 3) What good is principle if nobody adheres to it anyway.    Well that would really get the fur flying... What is the answer? I would get with angry face... Well the only one was work to rule... which i had been doing for years... do your job well in the time provided and deal with extras as the contract allows.  But you see all the people who wanted the fight over principle, many of those were the people who served their own needs first each and every day, and got use to that so when the claw came it had something to grab.  Of course the average profile of the person who had something the claw could grab couldn't afford to be without a paycheck for 5 or 6 weeks and they only found that out after 3 weeks on strike and then their tune changed a bit and all they wanted was to go back to work... so much for them standing strong in disobeying a "back to work legislation" passed down by your very employer.  Hey wait was that a trap?  Yes it was, and you hurt the business that you need to stay employed, and the Government wouldn't mind getting rid of that business and selling the real estate that it was on.  

I really believe strikes and protests are most often boomerangs that come back to wound those at the origin.  You see we live in an age of stupid fickle public, immediate shallow media coverage, and polls.

I saw the Idle no more movement gaining steam, heard the PM say "In this country people are allowed peaceful protests, as long as they don't break the law", and then next thing you know the movement is essentially breaking the law ( i would say minor) and inconveniencing a historically racial population of people (read the comments on news stories), for what gains?  Never the fuck mind about right and wrong, forget about history... this is 2013 and you are in a PR battle with one of the slipperiest, slickest, oiliest Political leaders on the planet.  This guy won an election as the leader of the only coalition party (Reform and Progressive Conservative), by scaring the country into the idea that if you vote for the other parties than they will form a coalition party that might try to govern and that would be a dangerous reckless thing to do.  It is actually an incredible accomplishment when you think about it, but that's the world we live in.  So don't make the news doing something "illegal" if you want a fight with this man. 

And as predicted, just in time a new news story has come out today, a death blow to the PR battle... apparently all the money given to the band over the years hasn't been properly accounted for. As a side note i think they should send that auditor over to look at Dean Del Mastro's campaign finances.. but why do that right.

Two things... I have a University degree, and My Wife has a PHD and we can't figure out or tax forms... cause that's the way the system is...  here's that money we owe you and here are the 7 thousand hoops for you to jump through.  The other thing is, now lets call a spade a spade.. we are all human and power corrupts... it's the golden rule, well one of them anyway.  For sure there have been times when Indian funds have been spent inappropriately, and to the racially charged electorate, they are screaming about their "tax dollars" whether they paid their tax or not.  I always pay taxes and you can give mine to the poor or disadvantaged anytime, I'm for socialism.  I just hate losing battles on bad strategy.

Prediction.  PM goes into meeting and considers more help on the condition of accountability.

Want to hear my advise?  Keep in mind I'm just a guy,  not even a real writer.

If you are living on a reservation where living conditions are horrible and there is no end in sight, then move.  I know that sounds harsh but there are still opportunities in this country that you are entitled to be part of.  I realize that European Settlers fucked you over rather severely time and time again and that humans have savaged the land and it appears will accelerate the savaging under our radical PM.  Also kind of hard to live off a barren, species depleted, polluted land... it pains me too beyond a region i have yet to comprehend as a human.  Perhaps it is the part Native I have in my blood, or at least the Native my dentist thinks i have in my blood because i have tannins in my gums and many Natives do, but i was adopted and don't know my heritage on that level.  It doesn't matter, we are all just human, that's where it's at now.  Hey if a Reservation is working great for all, then keep it going and you can send my tax money there.

Think of it this way 1000 years ago you are fishing on a river and your hole dries up you move down the river, don't be idle in your situation in life, make the change.  What is gone is gone, and it breaks my heart to say that but the truth is you could spend the rest of your live arguing about rights and wrongs. Now I'm not saying give up on treaties and agreed territories or payments, but rather if some situation is unlivable then get out of that situation, it might be hard, but you only have your life.  If you think that your leaders are going to take care of you when they haven't they are probably not going to.

For the record, don't take me as an authourity on anything besides living right.  These are serious issues affecting real people, and i hope for the best for all of them.  I am applying my logic to the situation they are in... my logic has served me very well in my life.

All right I'll say it...

What the fuck is with this idle no more movement blocking the transportation routes of the hard working citizens of a country, the same citizens being screwed by a Government that this protest is apparently targeting?  I think it's pretty clear that this Government answers to corporate interests with little regard for the well being of the future of it's citizens, so i ask why trouble the citizens?

Now I'm not denying the  injustice that spawned the movement, but rather questioning the method.  Idle no more, so go out and block traffic so that thousands of cars and trains are shut down to idle in the transportation routes.  Perhaps they should call it the "idle more" movement.  This way we can inconvenience each other and spew more pollution... maybe we can have some fights, block some doctors from getting to hospitals, teachers getting to schools.  Maybe some people trying to keep their heads above financial water might be late to work and have to fill out forms explaing why they are late and be docked pay for time off work, or at least have the opportunity for a long drawn out fight to prove it wasn't their fault.  Oh you had to give birth in the back of a car, and you had some complications... well you see we had to block the road to prove our point that the Government leaders should give a shit.

Why not clog the Government headquarters, or the industry headquarters that the Government cares about?  Probably because you will be maced, beaten, perhaps shot... is that it?

That it has come to this is bizarre at best...  So the PM meets with an Aboriginal leader on a hunger strike for a photo op, pretends to listen, makes some promises and then goes back to business as usual, because we know that is what is going to happen right.

If anything this could be a grand opportunity to slip a few more legislative maneuvers through while people are distracted.  It appears to me that an affective tactic for indifferent Governments to deal with movements like this are to let them swell the the point where the nusanse of their existence begins to tip the scales the the point where public opinion turns against the movement itself as people forget what it is all about and only see the nusance.  Was Wall street punished as a result of the "Occupy Wall Street" movement?  Or were the camps just eventually removed on court order?

If you get treated unfairly by your employer to you go and punch a co-worker to teach your employer a lesson?  It's like the new blueprint for losing a protest movement... and of course there are always plenty of radicals to join every protest... maybe they can go fuck some shit and be heard.

If i had a hammer

Should a man really be up until 4am trying to bounce track 3 and 4 to track 7 and 8, and then go to bed unsuccessful even after following the instructions?  I mean instructions are weird bastards... way too much info on the errant puffery and then at a crucial step something kind of gets sideways mentioned about some process that you should really know about.

I mean if i go and buy a hammer from the hardware store, bring it home, line up a nail and the thing surprises me with an unexpected and un-called for random back kick that knocks out my front tooth, am i then suppose to go an wade through a manual to find out how to shut off the random back kick feature of my new hammer? I guess i have to do it, cause teeth are expensive here in America... ahh there it is under functions in Menu 19... there it is on.  You wonder why somebody would put that feature in the hammer, but you know kids today... they listen to the trance music, which gives them the brain damage.

So there, i have my hammer and my nail, and my hockey helmet with face mask for good measure and it's time to get down to business... but the damn hammer won't hit the nail, are you fucking kidding me?  Oh wait i guess i need to pre enable this function... there we go, i enable the bastard, and to be honest I'm a little hot right now so i point the hammer at the nail and it leaps out of my hands hits the nail sideways and then drives it bent over into the pristine fir sideboard doing damage and causing more rage.  After another hour pouring over the fucking instructions it seems i had enabled the "bend the nail but keep smashing it into the wood sideways", also known as the "drunken carpenter" function.

Now i have to go online for help, cause that's what we do now... of course a youtube video with a man relaxing in a recliner as a hammer flies around and constructs a whole house for him as he naps in and out of consciousness.  It's a 15 minute video and the intro is 3 minutes long, and i think if i had my old hammer that nail would have been in in 4 seconds.

life was once easier

Apparently you can mention people in your blog using google +.   Just a nice little neat fucking ass hole thing technology has brought us.  I for one miss the limited options of the Luddite world and no where is it more present than with recording technology.  There is now always a maze of options one has to wade through to choose the simple thing, and often times the simple thing is no longer available.  I think if this current technology was around when we were cutting our teeth making 4 track recordings it never would have happened.  Rather than getting down to the business of laying down the song Gibbering fool, we would have been confused by menus of options, trying desperately to get out of the pre set options and into some representation of an analogue type setting.  By the time we got there the spirit of the music would be clouded by the rage of the programming and the spirit of the song would be lost.

If you wanted to re zero your start point you pushed the button by the counter and rolled... now you read a manual and scratch your head and wonder how the fuck some simple operation can become so complicated.  Almost every recording program i have used since the 4-track leaves me in a check mate position after a few moves, and so you end up going on line and watching some video of some long haired clown talking about how easy it is and what a great machine you have, but they never get to your problem, so you lose more time and get farther away from the process... less playing more menu searching... next thing you know you figure if i just reformat the card we can get out of this unfortunate situation where track 2 repeats itself for 11 minutes making your 3 minute song 11 minutes long.  So you reformat the card and start again cause it's easier... on the bright note you are better at the song this time, and you get the chance to make a few alterations by starting over, but it destroys the idea of laying demo's down while you are hot... playing hot that is, not enraged hot.

In other news we went to a trampoline place the other day, and to keep with the theme, lets just say that i am not as malleable as i once was.  It would be fair to say that i am stiff and heavy and brittle.  You see there are trampolines on the walls so with a bit of skill you can bounce, bounce, bounce on the trampoline squares and then bounce off the wall, and do a flip and bounce back, which is exactly what i saw somebody do, and it looked fun and easy so i tried it. I should have seen that the trouble i was having just bouncing in between the trampolines (with hard bars covered with thin foam) was not going to translate well for my eventual flip.  indeed when i did hit the wall trampoline it was less then graceful, and my angle was all wrong.  Of course the trampoline just rockets you back on the trajectory defined by the simple physics of the jump... this i clearly hadn't studied so my family and other onlookers were treated to a most awkward landing on my shoulder with the rotater cuff injury. 

Being a proud man i got back on my feet and tried to make it seem all right.  Perhaps I'll just bounce here for a bit and try the old land on your back and spring back to your feet.  I'm pretty sure i stalled my heart on that maneuver.  Just then one of my daughters flies off the wall and lands gracefully on her feet... i try to smile and give the thumbs up by my arm doesn't move. 

Over in another area you can bounce into a pile of foam blocks... good for flips.  Just try to get out of the foam blocks with one arm.  You are kind of upside down whiffing sweat odoured foam trying to right 200 pounds holding up the line.  It looked fun and while I was doing a flip in the air it was fun but seeing a crowd watch me feebily crawling out of a pit took me down a notch.  You know me though... i paid my money and i will get this down. no matter how much it costs me in future pain. 

Lets go into a little gun interlude

There i was walking to school, to pick up my 3 kids, and strangely enough the idea that somebody might be in the hallway with an assault rifle popping off rounds into my neighbours and our children was there in my head.  In the normal Robertson dream sequences i play it through in my head... I have no gun... i will have to bum rush the bastard on foot, leap tackle him, make sure his head smashes concrete as we land and then fuck that bastard up.  In reality i would probably be shot 40 times when  i got within 8 feet of the swine, but even in the dream sequence i imagine myself dogging the bullets somehow.

The question then becomes at what time did it become rational for a parent on the way to school to pick up his child in grade 3, and two in Kindergarten to be actively planning a counterattack on a gunman.  I mean the next logical step is to go out and get a conceal and carry permit and have a loaded gun on my person at all times, so that i will be ready to deal with a situation like such if it should come up.  Sure maybe i have a better chance if i have a loaded weapon on my person, but i would argue that having a loaded weapon on my person changes my person in the direction of the negative.

I still get the flying hugs after school front the twins... I'd be like "easy easy, we have that loaded gun there, just in case".   Pretty good guarantee my wife would be violently against me parading around with a gun "just in case", i might actually get a more favourable reaction if i chopped a tree down on the property, and we know that doesn't go well at all.

But that is the gun answer right... if everybody had a gun then there would be a proper counter attack.  OK i see that logic, but there are still a lot of bullets flying around in the school hallways... Hmmm... think, think, think!  I'm thinking the goal is nobody under any circumstances goes and sprays up a round of bullets anywhere... and of course the last place a shooting spree should ever occur is in an elementary school... the last refuge of the innocent.

Part of me might want to say that somebody if they are up for a massacre should go and try to shoot up an NRA meeting... at least these people are kind of waiting for that to happen and will be ready for the battle.  Not that i condone attacking anyone for any reason at all.   But these attackers always go for the unarmed and then turn their gun on themselves... what is behind that?

My guess might be that our whole society is a fraud... bankers rewarded for ruining people, companies rewarded for destroying the planet, obvious truths denied, money over integrity every time... i mean it's pretty easy to see and then there is the whole glorified violence angle.  I mean i haven't watched TV in 2 decades, and i have never played killing video games, but i do know that the one time i got into martial arts for a bit i spent a lot of time thinking about fighting, which is why i never pursued it further.

To be honest I'm not sure gun control will work... the guns are out there already... control only works if people abide by it.  There are plenty of illegal things out there that i could get my hands on very quickly if i pursued them.  That said i wouldn't be against gun control, i just see it as some major annoying fight that will drag on forever with morons claiming insanities and other morons being "shocked and frightened" and the whole lunatic machine just spinning.

There is just no way that this stuff should ever happen, much less become routine, it is fucking asinine.

Justin Trudeau and the long gun registry

National insanity is occurring yet again... big surprise right.  To make a long story mid sized, a Canadian Government (the Liberals), back when they were in power and the Country had a surplus rather than a deficit, like the current one created by the  current "fiscally responsible" Conservatives, which happens to be a coalition of the old "Reform party" and the "Conservative party" now known as the Harper Government.  Well the Liberals, in an ill advised movement to curb gun crime created this thing called the Long Gun registry... people who had long barreled guns were required to register them with the Government... a move that cost money and angered gun owners.  Many people supported this, as did Mr. Trudeau, but the registry was scrapped when the Conservatives came into power as quick as scientific reason.

Did i mention Trudeau is the son of a vary famous former Canadian Prime minister (for the Americans out there).  Well you see, Justin Trudeau is now running for the leadership of the Liberal party, and went on record as saying that the Long Gun registry was a failure, which of course, set off a chorus of "flip flop" from the opposition.  You see he supported it, but now by calling it a failure, he is flip flopping... but wait!  It has been scrapped, just like the Experimental Lakes Area and the data is being destroyed... sounds like a failure to me.  You have a program and it is scrapped, therefore it failed.

Now i don't really have an opinion on the long gun registry as per say... i think if i was living in Canada and i wanted to get me a gun and go do a gun crime, i think i could pull it off, but I'm not one for guns, or crime for that matter.  I believe in living good, and doing good to others... I also believe in calling a failure a failure.  My music career has been a failure, and i believe i have called it such on many of an occasion, but i still support it, and believe in it.  The bone fact is that i have sold less music than the money i have put into it... that is an economic failure, and I'll blood any bastard that tries to tell me otherwise... don't worry i might be doing better than you so don't feel bad for me... it just is what it is.

Now my political beliefs are pretty fucking far to the side where we shut down this garbage creating economy and start living right within our means, but i know that ain't going to happen, as we are consumers after all... it is a name human civilians answer to.

Sure in my life, when the Liberals were in power we had good economies, whatever the fuck that means, but the Government had money, and at least pretended to listen to scientific wisdom.  And when the Conservatives were in power deficits ballooned.. just an actual observation people.  I think i voted  Green last time... silly me concerned with the air I need to sustain me and my families life over the shotgun sale of our countries resources.

What a time we live in when a man can call a spade a spade, and be hammered as a flip flopper... it fucking failed, it is no more.

Right and wrong is not passing and failing... for example, you could pledge to join a fraternity way back when... an nice W.A.S.P. ass hole thing to do, and your initiation might be to go steal something... if you steal it you succeed, and if you don't you fail.  Only the criminal in jail is a failure, cause he failed to beat the system. 

If we want to change the system, I'm first in line, but as we know the people who run the system are doing quite well for themselves, and one of the many proofs is in the fact that a politician, and the media, and the fools that believe the media are easily drawn into a "character" debate on a politician who called a spade a spade, even though he played a spade in the card game he lost.  What's next claiming victory after losing an election? 

I guess in this world we have had claiming victory before an election that you are about to lose, but hey, why look at history when you can just make up tomorrow?

What did i give this year?

It was Thanksgiving, so, as the leader said in yoga class "never mind the thanks... what did you give this year? ' And of course what can you give in the rest of the year?

Got me thinking... I started the year off by giving a show away.. a weekly slot in a club that i had created.  More the gift of opportunity for some people who like to make music and do their thing... i also gave away a perfectly good table hockey game, and a couple of broken amps hidden in the shadowy lust of the table hockey game.  Lets call a spade a spade... dumping shit you don't want on people is not always giving... but it looks good on a resume right?

Upon moving to our new city we gave our street a horse tire swing, which is a great gift... unless of course you are a parent with a young toddler trying to get somewhere on time and the kid see's the damn swing and next thing you know you have to lock antlers with an unreasonable screaming maniac... you know the move, walking down the street with kid under arm screeching, kicking, flailing and you just stay on course focusing on not taking a groin shot.

I gave some pretty good gobbles of comedy this year on social media which is a gift i think is highly appreciated by some... it makes for a nice break in the day.  I gave some decent gardening ideas, and i gave a few squirrels a new zip code on that note too.

I gave a couple of tricycles away, and i actually gave a solicitor like 25 big ones.  I was in the middle of writing a song called "when the $'s gone" when a fairly articulate and intriguing gentleman started going on about the evils of Monsanto... Well i was in there like flint adding my own reasons... by the time it got to the part where they need money to fight court cases to win GMO labelling legislation i was too far in to back out.  I tried to slam er into reverse but the dude jumped on the windshield and clamped on like a mating frog.  i knew i should help, so i did...  It was weird... i remember telling my wife "I gave money to a solicitor today"... long pause "what the hell?"... "Indeed, it is incredible... he won... i mean it was a good cause.. i hope".  A few days later i shut down the pot breathed guy trying to raise money for marijuana legislation. I did give him my neighbours name and email address.. so i was very giving in some ways.

I gave the gift of campfire songs to our family camping week, for good or ill.  Infecting the little brains with the ditty "Shaving Cream", causing them to sing it multiple times a day for months afterwards, which perhaps might drive somebody crazy... if they don't know how to deal with it.  Fight music with music, it's the best cure... blast a fine reggae album 6x in a row and you will be singing "well if you live in a glass house don't throw stones" and that "shaving cream, feel nice and clean shave every day and you'll always be keen" will be gone like a roast turkey accidentally left in a room with a large hungry dog.  It just disappears and nobody knows what happened.


I gave a few songs to causes, but nothing was heard, i give people food all of the time.. i always make too much... you know, you start cooking something and you take a diversion and then you get an idea, next thing you know you made 2 gallons of soup.. is that 8 Liters? Pretty much so Google tells me.

I should give more, although looking at it it's not like i ever really set out to give, it just worked out that way as a sum of all of the little decisions that came before.  Might be good to be more conscious for opportunities to give, something to think about.

Where was I...

Oh i think last time i was here i took a serious  turn and went into a different movie, or was it a wormhole?  Who knows...  on the positive side somebody sent me 13 fine alliterations about a clam named Craig... there is definitely enough material to write the song "Craig the clam".  It's not the kind of song that has to make sense... i use to argue with anybody that a song has to make sense... what i meant to say was a song needed a purpose... even simple Sean Simpson can see surly sometimes songs say several things.

Also in the news it appears that right wing jackasses, the opposite of left wing jackasses, are now admitting that global warming is a clear and present danger.  My opinion on this issue: "Too little too late you fucking son of a bitch now off with your head".    They should really prosecute  people who lead simple minded fools away from the idea of living in harmony with the planet that supports your life, because of course there was short term financial gain.  In my mind these are the worst criminals out there... they have stolen something from life itself, that may never be even able to be replaced, and they did it with cold hearts and vested interests.  Anybody smart enough to manipulate rubes, is smart enough to understand basic relationships between things, and so when you choose to understand your relationship with the industries that are paying you to propagate bull shit at the great great great cost of a depleted planet susceptible to all kinds of known horrors... it's fucking sickening.

Anybody who says things like nobody could have ever predicted should have their toung cut out immediately as full proof has been determined this person is not to be listened to... problem solved.

I mean it ain't going to happen, people are more upset at the idea that "Twinkies" might be no longer available... maybe I'm just jealous it wasn't me selling boxes of Twinkies to suckers on eBay for 100 dollars per box. That i can accept any day... suckers need to be fleeced... the sucker needs to be fleeced to maintain his or her status of a sucker... natural equilibrium depends upon it.  A sucker is a sucker, and they will always be a sucker so it's open season... be the one who fleeces the sucker for the most raw amount and feel good.  My ethical problem stems more from organizing suckers to fleece on mass to gain power to hose humanity for short term profit at the trade of long term decline.

Worse than a serial killer in some ways... i imagine the serial killer kills for the lust to kill, while the climate change denier kills for politics, for money, for power... and they don't just kill, they forever alter the only know thing that can sustain human life... you would think that might be important.

OK enough of that, it's a pit of negativity... indeed the power of life is strong, very strong, one of the great powers of life is in diversity.... odd that human leaders over time would use diversity as a wedge against the populations.  I guess the answer is that you use the wedge that works the best... Fear for example.

I have a strange relationship with fear, i seek my fears... within reason of course, but then again you could say that reason is in the eye of the beholder.  The reason i didn't snowboard between two rock cliffs to shoot off a 40 foot drop onto a 90 degree angle alpine snowfield was because i didn't want to die or be mortally wounded, and to me the thrill wasn't worth the ride. It's also true i had nowhere near the skill to even remotely consider it a possibility... but it was posed to me, one time, by a real human, in actuality thinking that for sure i would be into that.  Now i could go up on any stage and not have any plan, relying on wit's alone, really not understanding the whole picture of what was going on, and carry on, because it was what i thought i had to do to do what i wanted.

Wanting and doing and being.  Is this rock being?  the answer to that question is the word "incomplete" with the "c" backwards and the fresh ink smudged on the paper.  It was a philosophy class in an American University in the early 60's, one of the students in the class became a Vietnam draft dodger who became a biology teacher in West Hill Ontario.  The professor apparently came into the class, put a rock on the table and asked the class, "Is this rock being?" and then stood there for an hour, and this became every class.  Soon the group of folks just took turns going to class to see if anything new happened.  One day the Prof. appeared with his son, and the only thing the class could figure was that daycare fell through that day.  Then the final exam came and the prof told the class that the exam question would be... "was the rock in class being?"... A long essay on the concept of "being" gave you a slight passing grade but the word "Incomplete" with the c backwards and the fresh ink smudged gave you the top mark in the class.  I actually get it now for the first time ever.. i didn't mean to draw us down this alley when we started, it was fate... i have actually told this story before, but i think it's better this time, i got into the story on the right side of it.

Do you have the balls to tell your university instructor that the class they taught was incomplete and queer? Or do you go to the library and try to put a bunch of words together to make something wrong sound right and intelligent?  I get it... you would never get away with that now... there would be some news story on the Internet news, about how some teacher is drawing a salary teaching nothing, and fools will debate, but all the time the teacher is posing as something but actually being nothing in an attempt to dare the students into seeing what actually is.  Take in mind this is a lesson my grade 13 biology teacher passed on to his class one day on a king hell diversion that i remembered and now a short 25 years later finally understand myself.

note to self about inaugaral jam

The new shockcentre took its first sonic workout on this night... a friendly cast of fine gentlemen laying down a series of original, cover and improvised grooves.

thinking...Where was i good, and where was i bad? What weaknesses must be improved upon.  Sharp brain and deft coordination would help

who are the people and what is the form... this is your key question old sport... make sure you answer that one correctly, nothing good or nothing bad.. it is what it is.

I was shining red with rust and blurred with intoxicants, but we had some fine moments.  "blurred with intoxicants" is that so you poo head... you just throw that one out there.  it is what it is man, he argues with himself.  Your are not really going to post this shit are you?  Well i reply... it's probably in my best interests. What about proper punctuation? LOL.

LOL is gay.

there i said it... gay is good, don't get me wrong.  Weird word... Gay.  Was created to mean happy (i think), then the word took a tarring as a negative term used in a hostile  and repressive society.  Real people took real beats for some reason in Scarborough when i was growing up.  If you were gay you sure as hell would have a better ride if you kept that to yourself.  I have hope for my children, the attitude of the newer generations, in some places, is one of more acceptance of difference among humans

probably shouldn't have used the word, now that i think of it...   how did a celebration of a music space opening tun into one king hell waffle about a word?

I blame LOL -are people really laughing out loud reading inane statements, or are they just trying to say "i read what you wrote and i want you to know it rather than what they should say which should be more in the lines of... yea real fucking funny you toxic toad, now go get yourself some natural sunlight and see if we can try and get on those rickets".

I'm joking, calm the clam down...Calm and clam, that's like a mini alliteration right? Do you need 3 words for a proper alliteration.  Calm clam catastrophe... the clam is calm because it doesn't understand the catastrophe... The clam has a very basic central nervous system that is more reactionary and less forward thinking.  But the clam doesn't need to be that bright because the clam gets to hang out at the bottom of the ocean filtering all of the toxins... not the kind of gig that one would strive for... now i don't mean to come down on the clams,, I'm sure it would be very fulfilling to lay among the garbage in the cold ocean.  On the bright side you probably wouldn't have to deal with a lifelong shark paranoia.  Even if a shark with shitty eyesight could see you it's not going to think "hey i better take a bite out of that ocean floor to get a taste of that calcium pod and somewhat rubbery innards with excrement present.  Sharks are looking for that dude who thought he would push his luck one last time for a nice ocean swim.  That why i try to skull when I'm in the ocean... a little tip from me to you... no thrashing just a confident missile in the water.

So yes the jam was a good time... i feel erratically creative, which is a good spot for me


What does this mean

The clam and shark bit might have merit... i guess i have to write a song about a clam and shark paranoia.. there are so many ways to go on this one.

The clam is one simple slow melody, and the shark is a majestic one, and they occupy the same space without every really knowing they exist.  they are in their own dimension, and the dimensions don't intersect.

I'm the clam, I'm the clam.... Shark don't like to announce his presence, more of a bite and how do you do kind of socialite.  Perhaps it should be set in a fish and chips joint, and the clam is a dishwasher and the shark is a live lobster that looks cooked only springing into action to tweak the nose of the hungry customer... and the manager comes out to see what the fuss is about and notices stains all over the dishes and goes into a soliloquy ruing the fact he hired a clam as a dishwasher, overlooking the fact that the clam had a vary basic central nervous system and was unable to understand tasks... just when they are trying to solve the mystery of how the clam partially did the dishes the shark has to get out of the lobster suit and get back into some water to sooth those gill arches and replenish that oxygen... then the shark and the producer get into an argument over whether this scene is really working and the producer goes ape shit and starts berating the shark and makes the fatal error of going into the water to finish the verbal "chewing out".   It's at this time that the shark does the chewing, and it's over before it begins.. but what happens to the clam? The clam of course becomes the head of a multinational corporation doing a tireless round of PR interviews about environmental assessment never really giving anything away and in hence doing triples profits.  Now so other companies, in order to compete put clams on their board of directors and executive roles... slowly more money is funneled into hybridized clam stem cell research in order to develop cognitive clam thought, and a breakthrough is made growing clams a second foot giving the clam leaders the chance to pace back a forth in a press conference, still saying nothing but changing enough to calm the average consumer into thinking progress is being made.

I fear the test of tomorrow

need new vacuum

Do i buy online and waffle over various reviews typed in by paid rubes and disgruntled maniacs.  For example one of the bad reviews when on and on and then pointed out that the attachment could barely reach the ceiling (which happened to be 9 feet).  So essentially i am spending time reading the writings of some damn fool that vacuums their ceiling... wow.  The other alternative is to go into a store and suffer the presence of a vacuum salesperson.  Knowledgeable, perhaps, but not necessarily, pushy probably, able to generate a spell that hangs and haunts the room moaning "just buy and get the fuck out of here".  To me there is nothing more annoying than being the "customer " in the sales job... i personally don't find any part of it fun or even remotely amusing.  Well i guess that time when we were buying the Toyota Matrix and i was driving and getting a little tired of that pandering car salesman telling me how smart i was for asking basic questions... then i just stomped on the accelerator  and his eyes nearly popped out of the sockets, he was frantically waving his arms saying please don't hurt the car.  It was funny, and when we got back to the lot he was kind of hyperventilating but he also stayed focus on task as he had a sale to reel in.  He told me the light that said the car was locked was an alarm... i asked him how to work the alarm, and he told me i was smart and then pointed out that this car will tell you the temperature outside and inside.. pretty smart eh!

I might even choose swimming in the freezing Ocean over going and dealing with a vacuum salesperson... at least then i would be thinking about how fucking cold i am and that maybe standing in a vacuum sales department listening to utter gibberish ain't that bad.

Vacuum's are bastards... so many designs, so many cheap fucking flimsy parts... i need stairs i need carpet in need hardwood floor.  rather than make a vacuum that is solid and powerful the vacuum industry is into "micro markets".  This particular piece of shit will somewhat suck some crumbs off your hardwood floor until the time the warranty runs out and then it will crack blowing dust everywhere and then burst into flames taking the neighbourhood with it.

Used vacuum? What if there is a bed bug in that vacuum? As dad use to say, one step forward and 4 steps backward.  Lets put it this way, being an uninformed consumer is worse than being a fish and chips eating ass hole under a flock of seagulls in my books...  But what does it mean to be informed with all of this information that is actually carefully crafted bull shit to sway my opinion?   But i need a vacuum.  I hate decisions... i will make the decision and forever regret it.  I can make art decisions much better, this should go like this, but i guess you get to craft the answer... in the world of vacuum sales you just try to find the least flawed product and hope that you don't get a lemon to avoid dealing with customer service than can always bring up the stroke risk.

Even the idea that somebody will try to sell me an extended warranty, using fear tactics, will irritate me beyond belief.  so i buy a warranty and then shit goes down and somebody finds a way for the warranty to be void... well i guess i should put the recycling and compost out... any ideas?

I knew i should have tossed those underwear

So i went to Yoga today... you know to try and get some balance, some perspective and some deep breathing and being shammed into doing core ab work.

A little banjo in the room before hand that maybe jammed on a bit too long, so i thought i was running late... but we do have a weird thing with time around here.  I don't get it but it happens... every clock is set at a different time and they are all running early...  I think it's to trick the homeowner into a rush panick hence motivating the said person with a deeply ingrained fear complex. I do get to things on time, except for morning school but i'm usually right in under the line.

So yes I was running what i thought is late, but not so...  I almost forgot the water bottle... not good... already dehydrated from too much coffee. So I grab it and throw it in with mat, shirt and shorts... later in the change room i notice my water bottle top has come off in my bag wetting my shirt and shorts.  Oh NO! grab the water and upright it, put shorts on hook, check shirt and mat.. not too much water it's OK... take wallet and keys from pants and put beside bag.. bag is wet, put shirt on, pack away clothes, focus on wallet... become obsessed about losing keys and wallet.. top up water bottle while deciding to put wallet and keys in wet bag, because wet bag is still secure bag... see clothes in cubby, grab bag with wallet and keys, grab mat, grab water and go out and set up.

Surly i would have grabbed less attention with shorts on rather than entering in my late Fathers recycled underwear... i rarely wear that pair cause they are a little ratty... they don't even fit properly.  Dad bought underwear most likely on sale but it was too big for him, but he couldn't take them back so i had to take them so we can all sleep at night knowing that we didn't waste any money.

I think everybody in the class looked at this as a generally unfortunate  incident, but being Yoga people they were mostly like "yes that did happen, i observe things, and i will now breath this away"

I can only guess what they were thinking... i felt the room change and in the mirror, i saw myself... oddly enough it was the weird tufts of hair i have on my neck that jumped out at me, and then the fact that the left Handlebar moustach was tucked under my chin and the right one was at a 45 degree angle to my right cheek...

And then i actually though for a second "why is this mirror not showing my shorts?" Right around the thought "Those Underwear, are you serious..." i was definatley jolted by the release of some panic mammilian neurotransmitter, that actually shook me for a second.

In the end it was a fine class and i opened some regions and on the beautiful walk home i witnessed 3 electric leaf blowers.  It was taking the suckers forever and one guy had terrible posture.  i could have had that area raked in 1/5 the time... but we all make mistakes from time to time.

I guess i should clarify a few things...

I don't hate my neighbour, she is a nice person, i have helped her and will do so again, and she has helped me.  It's just the form of this blog... It started here... it reads backwards so you need to scroll down to the bottom to check out the mission statement.  I'm interested in what i think and when i think it... maybe I'm one of those megalafuckingmaniacs, but perhaps not seeing that a megalomaniac would probably be more keen to manage a sharp online presence that glorifies themselves rather than an longstanding admission of failure, perhaps it falls in the reverse psychology field... clearly i shouldn't think about perception cause it tailspins me in the wrong direction...

So if a leaf blower arrives in your conscience and you find yourself consumed by unwelcome thoughts and you lay those thoughts down, you are in fact just releasing them and it stands as a record of what you felt in that moment for whatever reason.  I believe in looking back honestly at everything to try to understand situations and myself in them, to be better in the future.  Now the part about the brick through the window... i was just trying to be funny... i just envisioned a brick and a window and i giggled a bit.  But under no circumstances  should one ever throw a brick through a window... it's dangerous.  If you didn't have your slippers on you could get a sliver of glass in your foot.

She just happens to love things that i hate... at least she is loving things... sorry that's all i can do... i went to envision the squirrel nest in the front porch and my brain fell off a cliff again ( i was going to try to say something nice about it).

Sometimes a blog just shits on things and yes... it soils itself in the process, and you can spend all your energy on clean up and fall into a funnel cloud of self analyzing, or you can move on to the next episode.

For the record, it's usually comedy i am going for.  I remember one intimate moment with Dad i was lying on the couch and he was sitting on the floor.  He was talking and i was busting a gut, and he stopped , tilted his head slightly and and looked at me through those blue eyes curiously smiling "you just think everything is funny, don't you"... pretty much.

Rage and negativity have their place... take it from me, a happy person in a great life.  A lot of people can't handle rage and negativity, and yes if you spend all your time in that dark place your life will be worse more often than better, but the light of a new day is a beautiful thing after a dark night.. if you keep artificial lights on all of the time you will miss the contrast.

It's like many humans, they are fucking idiots, buying garbage they can't afford that ends up floating in an ocean slowly leaching toxins into the planet that we need to sustain our lives. On one hand you want to go punch them all out, but on the other you will end up with a sore fist, criminal charges, and you will surly meet your match sooner rather than later... if you can't beat them do you join them? Or do you try to be the change you want to see in the world?  You probably use either excuse to suit the position you are in at the moment rather than harping on your failure, right. In so doing you alter the history of your conscience to suit the needs of your immediate... then you lose because you don't learn the lessons because you hide the facts. If i hear a leaf blower and lose my shit then I'm bat shit crazy... because as you know, you can't swing a dead squirrel without hitting some hammerhead revving a leaf blower.  All over the place people are paying others to clean their shit, and the guy getting paid can maximize profits by just blowing the dirt away from the "clean zone".  And maximizing profits is a most celebrated event in our culture.. you might even say the whole process is good for the economy, which happens to be another bell dinger. You blow the shit out onto the street take off, and the wind blows the shit back and you have a job the next week... you are buying gas and oil and earplugs and the local businesses thrive... and some jackass thinks this is bad?

I think of it like this: I can have a perspective on something and some other dumb simpleton can have an opposite position.  At this point you can fly into a rage and let it out, or you can slowly stew, or you can engage that person in an effort to enlighten them and then find out that their brain is just one big empty cave with a bunch of bad ideas backed up by incredulous misconceptions about the very nature of how things actually are.

Just have fun with life, get into it... go down with your ships but rise again in a stronger unsinkable vesicle. Of course there is no unsinkable vesicle, as we learned in 1912, but it's OK to think you are unsinkable from time to time... live life with the heart of a lover, walk tall and you shall hover (from the song "the key of 5").

So what goes on in my head goes on in my head... i would never harm anyone.. unless it was a rodent or an accidental hockey collision... anyhoo i just thought I'd try to shine a bit of light on the reality of what goes down here as there seems to be some people who are getting to know me and perhaps glance at this blog from time to time, and might not see the humor as humour but rather disturbed mental imbalance.

We are all given the beauty of life and as my history teacher Mr. Mallinson once said "everybody should have the right to choose how he or she lives their life".  I don't give a rats ass about popularity, as in my experience putting efforts into that always leads to ruin... I'm me and I'm interested, with respect to this blogi apparatus (right Mule), my truth... and i love rage heroes, so i try to be one.

SR