Robertson's voting in elections ideas

I always vote, i always loose, i have a long memory and a short fuse for bitter ironies... but this isn't about my disappointment in humanity, well i guess everything kind of is in a way.

- "it was a marvelous line, and it was written to blind, and now the end of the line... is ahead of it's time"
    Roadbed (Last dance at the Shockcenter 2004)

I was referring at the time to a line some loathsome cretin said about how Global Warming was some crazy left wing conspiracy meant to steal money from the economy.  Utter bullshit of course, but yet very effective in undermining scientific data for the good of partisan politics.  So yea we lost that one a long time ago and the bill is coming due, and nobody could have ever expected it... right.

So yes, i am disappointed in humanity and I'm sure I'll die with that grudge on my shoulder... but i still vote... it's like there is bad and worse, but as we know (or we don't) worse can be really fucking bad.

I can accept corrupt politicians... power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely (Lord Acton).  I would just hope that perhaps the corrupt person, just maybe every once in a while, if they had the chance might do something good for society.  That is basically my high bar of hope for humans in power.  I mean there have been corrupt Governments in power that at least left the Government in somewhat decent shape while serving themselves shamelessly.  You could argue that American President Bill Clinton and Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien both had problems with corruption, but yet both left office with their respective countries in relatively decent shape on the thing consumers seem to care about... that being the economy of course.  Now don't get we wrong here... there is a lot of things that could have been done better in a lot of ways, but consumers.. i mean voters like a strong economy... 

Now following discontent for these 2 North American leaders contested elections landed Geroge W. Bush and Stephen Harper in Power respectively (now the timeline was different of course and in Canada a dithering PM held power for a short while) but what did we see... corruption went up exponentially, surpluses turned to deficits and regulations were stomped on... wars based on facts that were untrue, wars on reason, focus on religious freedoms for some while religious freedoms for others were scaled back... lets just say the Countries went into the gutter where opportunities declined, the economy failed and divisions escalated.  Now in the U.S.A. George W Bush's failure was so great that the country elected and eloquent speaking black man named Barack Hussein Obama on the hope for change ticket.  Now once again for sure, change didn't come fast enough or far enough for many who had great hopes, but the facts don't lie... the American economy is doing pretty good right now... remember the consumers, i mean the voters... that is their top issue.  Now considering he accomplished this while being opposed in every issue always as a matter of partisan politics every step of the way is kind of impressive.  Sure i would like to see no war, clean energy, zero waste more reforestation... and all of the other crazy left wing pinko commie tree hugging ideas that try to enable the planet to remain sustainable, and i would argue that those positions are more attainable under and Obama Presidency than they were under a Bush Presidency... probably a Bush supporter wouldn't even argue that because the idea of a sustainable planet may seem like a stupid idea to a Bush Supporter from all i can gather from what has been said.

On Monday we will find out what direction Canada will go... now it's a bit of a different story because there are three parties with a shot at the title, and a newly introduced election law called "the fair elections act" which would pit a wry grin on the face of the late great George Orwell... almost as good as the "responsible resource development initiative" which basically said just let international corporations gut the country and to hell with what happens because we stomped out all of the environmental protection laws and anybody who protests well fuck you you are now a terrorist and we have an new law for you... am i going off again?

So yes i voted... will i win, probably not although the particular member of Parliament i voted for probably will win.

I did vote against Vancouver B.C holding the Olympics, mainly because i didn't trust a blank check given to development and i also was offended at the idea that offering better transit to a city was on the condition of holding a 2 week party.  But in the end i had a good time during the Olympics and to the city's credit a fair bit of good did come out of it... clearly the affordable housing bait and switch was irritating, but i expected as much.

The thing i don't understand about elections is the run up to the elections... the political campaigning... it's asinine.  You see i pay attention to things, and i know where i stand... i know what political values are closest to mine (they never go far enough for me by the way).  Nothing anybody could have said  over the period of the campaign while they were on their best behaviour could sway me to the direction that i want my country to go in... I have worked as a civil servant, and artist and a stay home parent, and i have never lived paycheck to paycheck.  My time, the quality of the earths environment and the general human respect we have for one another are the things i care about the most.  No load of crap somebody can read from a prepared paper in a campaign could ever make me forget the issues somebody stood up for when the cards were on the table.

And what the fuck is a swing voter?  Some idiot that has no no fucking idea what is going on but at the 11th hour somebody says something that resonates with them so they go out and cast a vote for some idiot that really have no idea what they stand for and call it good?  Are you fucking kidding me... elections are decided by these morons?  I mean i would love to hear a really good rational argument on why i should vote for the person I'm not going to vote for... if it is a real argument and it makes real sense i will consider it... but "protect our economy" by an imbecile who has destroyed our economy is not one.

I'm all for putting your platform out on paper, people read the fucking thing and vote and if you don't carry out what you said you would you get publicly stoned to death.  Seems fair to me... anybody caught lobbying gets a free lobotomy as well under my plan.  At heart i don't think many people would disagree with that... but it might be considered a barbaric cultural practice.

 

It's not politics, it's sanity i strive for

Sometimes people say to me "Oh you are into politics"... the truth is i am into irony, as well as being fascinated by how fucking stupid human populations can be.   I should come clean here... i believe as humans living on this closed system that is Earth... well, we missed it.  I realize this is a depressing thought for some... like my wife for example who likes to think of herself as an "eternal optimist", and yes she is, and that's great... but i see it differently.  I'm just a fact kind of guy, not a positive or negative thing, it just is what it is.  So i believe the tipping point has been reached (a while back) and we are doomed... for some reason i am still able to get up and have good days and look forward to more good days.  It's a weird skill, and one i am thankful for... i even have kids... i hope for them, but you know we still have that massive patch of plastic garbage in the middle of the fucking Pacific Ocean and there is very little political will to ban plastic, or the climate is changing and our leaders are arguing over whether that is true or not, and that we can't possible hurt the economy by addressing that.

The way i see it;  the economy is bullshit, and the environment is the economy... i laugh as i realize this statement might make sure i never get elected should i ever make the mistake of running for public office.  Now if you can't grow an apple because you have no fucking water because you used all the water to extract petroleum products, or you dammed all of the rivers, or you cut down all of the forests disturbing the hydrologic cycle... well then you can't sell an apple.  If you can't make food because you killed all of the pollinators with insane management policies, then you can't sell food.  So you can't make money AND you can't feed yourself.

I believe it was a Cree Indian Prophecy

Only after the last tree has been cut down, Only after the last river has been poisoned, Only after the last fish has been caught, Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.

That sums it up, but perhaps those with enough money and power will be able to survive longer, so our economic model might work still.  Clearly there might be a chance for the rural farming hermit provided he could avoid the state safety officer's visits to relieve him of his produce.

So the irony of course is these insipid political debates we have to suffer through, and these long vapid campaigns that focus on this "economy" where candidates  pledge "tax breaks" to stimulate growth and such.  Now quick question... have you ever tried to claim a "tax break"?  The forms make no fucking sense and then you have to hire an accountant and thus loose the money you made in the tax break.  Obviously the Government tax agencies can help... you just have to call them, wait on hold for a fucking hour and then get some suspect advise that has been proven to be wrong more than 50% of the time.  What's the problem here?

Now in Canada right now there is a thing called the Leap Manifesto which pretty much seems like the thing to do, however there is politics.  It was probably 8 years ago that Liberal leader Stephan Dion ran on a platform of altering Canada's economy to one with a Green future, and by investing in green jobs (8 years ago), Canada might be at the lead in the future when the green revolution hits... like right about now.  Now he was beaten like a mule at the polls as the Conservatives ran adds calling it the "green shaft" that would hurt Canada's economy, and was portrayed in attack ads as a weak leader.  Even my own parents, who in reality would support such an idea, had they been in their right minds, were swayed by the commercials and avoided supporting this "weak leader".   And here we are now. Will the Leap Manifesto help the most insane political party by adding to the fear of change with respect to the economy dialogue?  Hey we can't change something that is clearly not working, and perhaps if we reiterate how something that is not working is actually working enough times people might actually believe it.  Obviously it helps if you can limit real information that is gathered on how a society is doing and replace it with your own ideas no matter how baseless they may be.

Now this is the intrigue of politics fore me, how one can push off nonsense for fact and fact for nonsense to suit ones political needs.  Remember political parties are machines to be elected... it has nothing to do with good governance, it's about gaining power.  Obviously some are better than others, like the lesser of evils perhaps and the only victory is seeing some fucker go down, and on to some high corporate appointment.

My personal political affiliation was the Work less Party, but they fizzled out... apparently nobody is interested in a zero growth economy and more free time to spend with family and living life.  We prefer a negative growth economy where people work their life away, as long as it is called in the ads and the debates as a growth economy.

So for the comedy?  I mean it's not really funny, irony is a bitter pill best served cold... the talking points have grown stale and the result is old,  but people cling to the life they know... "How do i do better or stay the same for me?" Maybe i should vote for X because i might come out a few hundred dollars ahead... that's how we think.  Which of course is irrelevant if your government tanks the countries currency by 25% by making horrible decisions that nobody could have ever have predicted... except those that predicted it and were written off a lunatics.

The problem is that the lunatic never gets their day in the spotlight.... the person who said "this is an insane idea" never gets redeemed.   Even as somebody who believes we are doomed, there would be a certain satisfaction if we could at least consider addressing the problems we face... then perhaps i might change my mind and believe in the impossible... that we could collectively change the course of our destiny.  But of course reforesting the planet isn't even on the agenda when we need to deal with important things like Wars, clamping down on immigration, trade agreements, surveillance,  chemical pesticide development... you know smart stuff.

If you want to really ramp up the insanity check out the American Republican debates... #unfuckingbelievable

Sufjan Stevens Carrie & Lowell tour

Clearly I have been down on music for some time after a long period of locking antlers with the "what and why" with respect to my relationship with my music.  In fact I haven't made much effort to seek and see music in this period.

Well a few months ago my neighbour came down and asked me if i wanted to go see Sufjan Stevens, and being a big fan of the album Illinois and Michigan i sad yes and we bought some tickets and i kind of forgot about it.

Now a couple of days ago i was reminded of the show and checked out the new album "Carrie & Lowell".  I was actually painting that day and i hit the album about 4x in a row.  By about the third listen i was hooked,  you know that thing when you know you have a new favourite album, and you are going to get the chance to fall in love with it.   It's moments like this is why we seek music... that high one gets becoming obsessed with a spectacular piece of art.  I was warned that it is a "bummer"... but so is "Blue" by Joni Mitchell... i rest my case.  I make this comparison not casually... but I'll put it there.  Was i crying listening to it?... Yep, but it was a good cry, a beautiful cry, much like that time i was driving to the ferry on New Years eve listening to "river".

So i was primed for the show... the new album like a strong burning fire in my soul, and he played the whole thing.  He didn't just play it, he killed it... probably one of the best shows i have ever witnessed.  Clearly this show had special significance being that it was in Oregon, and that wasn't lost for a moment on the nearly three thousand absolutely enthralled audience members.  Spectacular Oregon images broadcast on church window like screen panels and a minimal yet very effective light show.  Five were on stage, but many times only Sufjan was playing ( basically any instrument and singing), and the others altered instruments and came in expertly when it was time for optimal effect.  It was one of those shows that will go down for the ages, i have no doubt about that. It's not something that is easy to describe because sometimes words fall short or define too singularly.

If i had to I'd say... it was a heavy "love in" that demonstrated in no uncertain terms the power of music, and the possibilities within.

So i played some music today and for a while rediscovered the soul that drives the engine... And what's a bummer about that?

Open stage

So i played open stage tonight... it was a good reminder to never do that again... will i heed my advice? Time is the hunter and it will show the truth.  Perhaps i met a person that i might play music with... time will tell.

What did i learn from this open stage? The Cavilers can't score in overtime, and the catcher from the Tampa Rays wears a hockey goalie mask.  Everything else i had already learned but needed to remind myself.  Nobody gives a shit about about any artistic creation you may have made... and in the end it's all just memories.... right Mule. 

It's unfortunate that music making has been turned into this 15 minutes of time to sell beers.  But that is the game, if you don't like it leave it, like i did years ago.  I needed to go back like salmon who spawns.  It's more like a  biological imperative... you have songs and you think you want to play them but in the end you are just a disturbance to the chaos that is happening in the bar.  Whatever, I am more of a scientist checking out the moment rather than a songwriter trying to create a big break.

One thing i know for sure is that it is the storybook parade tomorrow for the elementary school.  A chance to cheer the kids on in their costumes and everything will be OK.   If the storybook parade was an open stage then nobody would go home with a sense of importance because nobody gives a darn about anything that they they are doing... it's the beauty of elementary school... you get cheered on for having cat whiskers and walking down a road.

This is good don't get me wrong, i can get behind cat whiskers, as long as they are not in my garden taking s shit. 

I'm not a "this animal is cute" kind if guy... if the animal is a pain in the ass i hate it...  it's a big picture kind of thing.

Obviously not everybody see's it this way, as i have seen from being on social media, but i can live with that. 

There is a book out now called "your band sucks" by john fine... Smash sent me the link and Mule will soon review it... i haven't read it but it sounds like a book i am trying to write although i would shy away from the negative.   My attack is more on the idea of the struggle of being in a band rather than attack the idea of somebodies band sucking.  There is lot's of fodder there and as somebody who is less inclined to attack the notion of a band sucking but rather question the parameters of what a band is expected to do, I'll stick to my guns.

Imagine the idea of me hanging in a bar for 3 hours to play for 15 minutes to a crowd that has no interest in listening... and i did it to myself.

Leafs report 2014-2015 season... for JK

Fiasco

that's it.

It would probably be best to just stop there, for comedy and simplicity sake... a wise man once told me good writing is the most condensed version... i believe we were talking about poetry, and of course i had that saying once, that was kind of harsh and negative... it was "poetry is a jackass sport".  The saying itself came to me while suffering an insipid poetry night, where the contestants were trying to "one up" each other in over descriptive, flowery word monologues drawing pictures i couldn't really see, and when i did see them they made me angry.  Kind of like a pompous competition where everybody in the room is the loser and it just goes on forever... kind of like the Leafs season this year.

After an epic collapse in game 7, and then the following season where the "18 wheeler went off the cliff", there was hope that this season had to be better.  The good news is that the leafs are drafting 4th, and then i think 26th.  The other good news is that all of the scouts have been fired and Mark Hunter, an apparent scouting master is at the helm to rebuild the foundation of the drafting team.

Now there is a new coach, who comes with some excellent credentials: Mike Babcock is a trained sports psychologist and he has won a lot of things in his career.  Indeed he took Team Canada to back to back Olympic gold medals... sure a team loaded in talent, as were the Red Wings when the won the Cup, but we have seen plenty of talent loaded teams underachieve and not play like a team.

In Toronto you probably need a sports psychologist running the team, because you know if they lose the first game of the season the Toronto media will be calling for heads and replaying and dissecting mistakes made by the players and questioning their commitment to the city, their team and the game in general.

Fragile is the word one would use to describe the Leaf team's confidence over the last few years, and rumors are that players don't want to come to Toronto to play.  There is a saying in sports... there is always lots of room on the bandwagon... of course that's when things are going good.  I would say that there is always lots of room under the bus in Toronto when things are going bad.  They have this saying "he threw that player under the bus"...  If a someone were to say "well a bad effort from this player cost them the game"... that would be throwing that player under the bus.  In Toronto everybody is driving buses and there is like a big funnel in front of all of the buses trying to scoop up as many players to get under the bus.  Angry arrogant experts, many with "little man syndrome" selling copy or airtime with their views on what's wrong and who is to blame and constantly speculating on who needs to go, and who needs to come to save the day.  It's a whole other disease in itself, Toronto Maple Leaf-itus .  So of course i was pleased to hear Coach Babcock say that he was going to work to make it "safe" to play here, which is a tall task, but it speaks of a real culture shift with respect to a rebuild.  It appears also that the people running the show will be here to stay for the long haul, and they seem to be on the same page, and i would imagine they will bring in the people they want and have a real shot to build something.


The turnaround with respect to Leaf GM's, Coaches, Presidents... you name it has been far to rapid over the last  decade.  You can't build something and grow it if you keep replacing parts, mind you the parts they had didn't seem to be making things better.  Perhaps knowing that the guillotine is set to come down on your head made people make foolish decisions to "speed the rebuild".  We could list examples, but there is no point salting the wounds.

JK has been a solid addition to Leaf's Nation, even though Leaf's nation doesn't know about JK.  It's coming up on half a decade that JK has been coming up with opposition team metaphor heckles, and this year when heckles weren't working JK thought perhaps it was the heckles that were not working and changed to haiku's to see if that could work.  Given the considerable effort JK has made to the OMEN power one has to give JK some serious credit.  I never mentioned the heckles or the haiku's over the past few years because i thought it might be bad luck... but perhaps that was the problem in the first place.

JK could be the greatest unsung Californian Leafs fan... read em and weep.

Way to San Jose? 
Take 880, through that traffic. 
Really not worth it.

Kick them in the crown jewels. Burn their castles down. Revolt. Just some ideas.

Stuffed hawk for dinner, should be the plan Leafs. Poultry Tradition, X-MAS

Down the Flyers. Not The planes I'm on today please. The hockey team, Leafs. 

In Dallas, the leaves are still green. Thrive, Leafs in the warm sun of north Texas.

now for a JFK haiku:

Ask not what you team can do for you but what you can do for your team 

 

The Manifesto

Social media  has been around for some time and everybody has their own proverbial hornet's nest they step into every now and then... or all the time in many cases.  I kind of find that i am less likely to write things and put them on the Internet as a result of my relationship with social media.  I  ask myself... Why is this?  I'm not going to change social media, but i feel for my own reasons that i should spend more time at a computer working on conveying ideas than glossing tidbits of semi information.

When i first got a computer i refused to go on the Internet because i had things to do... i was trying to edit some Roadbed videos and didn't want to be taken off task.  I go to the Internet now as a kind of habit and I'm not convinced that it is a good thing to do.  You know the problem with community? It just takes one idiot to ruin everything and there is always at least seven.  This is a very good example of an insanely negative statement written by myself.  It was a joke.. but what does that mean?

let's take a dip into the paranoid pool by completely making up a scenario:

If i share [digital media] of my [insert something], it could be misunderstood,  this misunderstanding  might start some bizarre events, and then you change your perspective...  you check yourself, you are maintaining an image like it or not.  You run into people in real life that you also deal with in social media, which allows for a new layer of unwelcome introspection.   Next thing you know you are writing and  every sentence you write you start worrying about what something might trigger, who will think what. This is not a good perspective to write from... no it is not.

It's nice to know about things, sometimes, but knowing too much can be a harsher poison.  I found that with music... the more i was aware of what people were thinking, the less i believed in what i was thinking.  I promoted it so therefore i needed to hear people justify it for me so i could simmer that down into a one sheet that moved and conveyed my mission statement.  But hey who's keeping track... besides me of course... and therein lies the problem.

just making points... nothing to see here... forget everything and go back into your rhythm

I was going to add some weird ad lib poetry on the end of this manifesto but when the dice got rolled the subject that came up was the perspective of a clay garden gnome... and that didn't have a lot of game in my head... probably shouldn't have even mentioned it... am i apologizing?  I'm like 5 lines out of the manifesto and I'm already cowering like a ninny...

This might require therapy.

How to be happy, by a happy guy

Make good choices of course would be one of the key ingredients to happiness.  For example i was about to write this blog about some crazy stuff that went down at the school last week, but then i came to my senses and realized that i would just be offending a large group of people that take themselves too seriously and are hyper-prone to losing their shit over the things i would end up writing.  Why do that?  Sure points could be made, but in some cases wounds are better left alone to heal rather than to poke at and ridicule.

So by choosing to write about ways to be happy i have almost guaranteed a better fate for myself and my person while interacting among an important community i am part of... right.

Choosing positive thoughts surly must beget happiness more frequently than mocking emotional mistakes made by others would, even if the sentence is odd.  Which brings us nicely into another key to happiness.

It's OK to laugh at yourself, you are allowed to make mistakes and be foolish, and it's even better if you can see the error of your ways.  You can't change what you are not aware of so witnessing your folly is half the battle, and forgiving yourself will repair most of the damage, and if you can laugh at yourself then you might just turn it into a net positive. I know i know, i sound like some new age jackass, but don't worry nobody reads blogs anymore... i read that in a tweet.  Blogs are too wordy, we need to be on to our next packet of semi-information in under 10 seconds now... it's the new way.

I'll defend the blog format, for me right now i am not looking at the Internet searching mindlessly for something that i might find interesting... I'm in my head trying to articulate and understand what things i can do to be happy... some kind of interactive meditation practice.  It's kind of leading us into another point that i didn't know i was about to make until just now when i saw it clearly... as obvious as a black hockey puck on a clean white sheet of ice.  Why do you do things?  If i was worried about who was going to read this, or even worse "will this reach a growing target audience", i would be in a completely different head space... the word "stress" comes to mind.  Actually writing the words "growing target audience" took a bit of wind out of the sails, but then i remembered the context.

Doing things for the right reasons is a real big one...  it kind of falls under the opening category of making good choices.  Money is one of the bigger trip wires out there, because of course we all need money for sure.  I'd like to try a world where it didn't work that way,  and if everybody wants to give it a shot I'll give it my best 110%.   Now we have moved on to reality... a good thing to be aware of for sure.  Understanding reality has to be on a list of things to do to be happy... just don't take it too seriously, be willing to shift your reality, or perhaps corporate speak might coin a term "flexible reality"... almost tempted to Google that but that could send me on a wild goose chase that will have me watching legends of hockey on YouTube in 4 hours after another 15 beers... right. 

 On that note reality can be different depending on where you live so the "flexible reality" idea does have merit.   I live in Portland Oregon in one of those "keep it weird" neighbourhoods... of course I'm from Canada where we put a "u" in that word, but lets say i lived in Texas or Moscow or Palestine or Kingston Jamaica... well my reality would be very different. When possible i would suggest living in a place that you really like.  Often times people end up living in a place they don't enjoy and it's because of a job, or they are afraid to move, or they can't move, or they have some obligation.   Some people live in the suburbs of Cities because they can afford a bigger house and then they spend their life in a traffic jam...  their reality is constant commuting, which is a price i could never pay for a bigger house.

When i was 22 i taught Chemistry and Physics in a high school in downtown Toronto for the summer session (summer school) and i lived in my parents house in the suburbs (Scarborough).  Twice in one week the highway (401) was completely blocked because a tractor trailer overturned... luckily the last time the car behind me had a football so we ran some plays for a few hours.  But i remember that day very clearly where i said to myself I will never commute through a city in a car ever again... and i never have.  I commuted by bike from downtown Vancouver to Richmond for a number of years but on a bike one can always beat a traffic jam.  I don't commute, and i never will because i fucking HATE it... I'd almost rather hire a group of squirrels to leaf blow my yard than commute to a job as a matter of principle.  So in my life the option of commuting is off the table... i won't do it, so i look for another solution.  Now some people don't mind commuting, and that's good for them... their car is their happy place, with the music they love pumping away, and their little environment just the way they like it.  They have a different reality than myself and that's all good, if they are happy I am happy for them.

Hey there is another point... be happy for people.  It's amazing how infectious happiness can be... you could choose to be jealous of somebody who is set to fly off to Hawaii in January because you are stuck in winter, but then you are just jealous and that is kind of a  negative emotion, an emotion where you feel sorry for yourself.  How does feeling sorry for yourself help?  Feel happy for that person and you will find that you just accidentally tapped into happiness, open yourself up to other peoples joy... there is nothing wrong with vicarious living if the dream is good... hot damn that's a good tweet!  OK so i just tweeted that, but i didn't read any tweets and i got right back off the Internet to avoid distraction, cause this exercise is fun right... remember I'm talking to myself so no need to answer.

Sympathy... there is a time and a place for sympathy, but i think it's one of those things that kind of gets out of hand.  There is a whole type of person who is constantly trying to garner sympathy... most of the unhappy people i know are constantly playing an angle where people should feel sorry for them because something happened to them.  Never do i want somebody to feel bad for me because things went wrong.  I kind of come from a family of people who are often lobbying for sympathy... it kind of drives me crazy.  In truth i think it is rooted in the idea that somebody wants to be recognized for the amount of effort they feel that had to make, but like i said before if you are doing something with the idea of what people will think of you, then you are on the wrong track to happiness.  The sympathy seeker will always inject something that they had to do that they didn't want to do that has put them in the particular mood that they are in in the moment.  What kind of bullshit is that to lay on somebody... now you want me to feel bad for you? If i fill my being with sorrow you will feel better? Is that the deal? So if we are both unhappy then the field has been leveled?  Don't get me wrong... if somebody has suffered a tragic loss, i do want to help to try and absorb some of the pain, and i will gladly be honored to be chosen as a person who could provide that in a case where needed.  But i can't feel sorry for a person who is late because the got caught in a traffic jam coming back from a job they hate.   It's wasted sorrow... right!  My grieving can't solve the problem, because the problem is guaranteed to happen again based on the simple law of averages.   I might be willing to help lead an intervention to help identify the source of this unhappiness, but there needs to be a willingness on the sympathy seeker's behalf to work outside their known "box".  So lets put "Rejecting the need for sympathy" on the list of How to be Happy...  get out of that pattern.

How about this one... Be critical.  It doesn't have to embody the complete negative that is often associated with the word.  Critically analyze  things you are involved in with the mindset on how to make them better.  Often we avoid critical thinking because we don't want to be critical... did i just smell another tweet? Where was I?  Being sucked into the world of chaos against my stated better judgement due to lazy habits.


I got another one... Avoid Morons.  Avoiding irritating people is a huge boon to happiness... it's massive.  The curmudgeon may actually be a perfectly sane and happy person who just lost the will to suffer the tragedy of the human condition... did you ever think that?... i know i didn't before a few minutes ago when i thought it.  I might be towing an empty boat on that one... it's a trap of course... because the curmudgeon lost the way to deal with his reality and failed to change it... right.   I got a few more tweets out of this paragraph.   Is tweet blogging a thing? I feel like I'm on to something, but I've felt that before only to be stopped like a bad check (see my music "career").  Remember laughing at yourself is one of the keys.  Key...

A key will get you in
It's key what you give
Through a need to please
Honesty is the seed

Live life with the heart of a lover
Walk tall and you shall hover

Those are song lyrics i wrote... it's all the words of the song and it repeats 2x, the song is called "the key of 5" and it's on the 21 tandem repeats CD "No Junk Mail Please",  an album that got savagely thrashed in the Canadian Music press in around 2008.   It's good to release an album and take a beating in the press, it helps you develop a thick skin and challenges your resolve to do what you think is right for your reality, over what people might think of you.   I wouldn't consider myself a famous person, unless i was writing a song challenging the idea of fame, but i have been written about in the press a fair number of times... i have had scintillating reviews and i have been shish kabobed.   Neither praise nor flogging should affect one's will to pursue the path that they are on.

When i look back on one of the more negative reviews of that particular CD i recall something along the lines of "it would be nice if they pretended to care about enjoying playing music".   Now at that time it's true we were focused on playing slower tempos... and i believe it was a reaction to others playing faster and faster to really "rock it".  It takes a lot of focus to not to speed up when playing music... i needed to understand that dynamic.   It's punk attitude going slow and soft in a town of loud and fast, which is ironic at best and shitty at worst.  In the end i learned to play restrained in a scene where people had to play loud and fast to compete with the audience talking.  If you are fast and loud you don't hear the audience talking, so it's an easy sell... but then you are part of the system... the one you are tying to break.  Breaking things is great too... breaking rules is highly liberating, if it's a stupid rule all the better... stupid rules should be broken... it erodes their authority. But don't get that confused with fucking up people's shit, a rebel and an ass hole are different beings... don't be the latter because it will affect your happiness.

These are some things that might help with general happiness, don't thank me, i spent the last few hours thinking i was doing something i was involved in, and that's what i set out to do.

Superbowl review... for those with attention deficit disorder

So we were on our way back from clam digging in Long Beach Washington, and i had promised John some clams... and since we hit the mother load and they were fresh we decided to drop them off on our way through town as he lives on the way.  I had heard the game started at 3:30pm and it was about that time... it was a pretty safe bet that the game would be on and a bag of clams would buy our way into the party.  Our arrival was timed perfectly as a batch of wings just came out of the oven... I don't watch a lot of football, but when i watch sports i get into the games.

I was rooting for Seattle on the basis of the geography rule and it looked like they were in tough... this New England team was moving the ball with precision but still not really scoring too much.  Seems like the kind of sport where you want to get your points when you can (to state the obvious).

The Seattle attack was based on letting that beast guy run the ball or throw a long bomb and all in all the teams were matched point for point going into halftime.

The halftime show was reasonable for a lip sync effort making use of pretty decent graphics and dancing sharks... not really my bag but reasonably inoffensive and family friendly.   One of my kids asked what lip syncing is and why they did that, and i explained that the artist doesn't have a choice... you have to lip sync at a show like that because they can't afford anything going wrong with respect to dancing timing, audio equipment, or god forbid some artist losing their mind and trying to go on some anti capitalism or anti war rant... imagine that!  All in all good deal for the artist as they get some ace promotion and can sell sell sell!

Speaking of selling, i thought the commercials were to be really good in the Superbowl... I kind of thought for the most part they all really sucked pretty bad... no edge, nothing really funny.  There was that real long bummer one that used "Cat's in the cradle" that must have gone on forever... i think the point was that if you miss you child's childhood because you are a race car driver then it's all OK if you pick him up from high school one day in a particular brand of car.  It's true i don't watch TV so when i do and people talk about these "hyped commercials" i am sure to be left wondering what the hell is going on.

In the 2nd half it looked like Seattle had found it's mojo... they went up by 10 and seemed to be able to slow down New England's offence.  In fact it looked like they were going to get another when the football slipped between a wider receivers hands putting an end to a drive that could have put a choke hold on the game.  New England then smelt blood and poured it on bolting ahead so that in the final 2 minutes Seattle had to score a touchdown or lose.  The QB threw to the beast guy and he made some yards and then the patented Seattle Hail Mary long bomb that looked to be incomplete but then bounced off a knee up in the air and into the arms of the receiver lying on his back.  It was the kind of ridiculous play the the Seahawks won the last game on... i even used the "horseshoes up the ass" analogy... it was now their game to win.  So they have the ball with a few plays to burn and under a minute left in the game... i was saying might be a good idea to give it to the beast guy as he seems pretty capable of running the ball in for a touchdown, but instead they threw a short interception and that was the game... lady luck left the building one play to early.

But then there was a fight... i take it some of the players were feeling a little frustrated.  A note on concussions... smacking the side of a guy's helmet is a better way to give a concussion than punching somebody in the head straight on with a fist... i remember reading that very clearly on time.  You rattle the whole head and more chance of the brain hitting the skull, as with a punch most of the trauma occurs on the bone at the site of contact... i noticed the  hits the the helmet were very effective in this manor, almost exactly as the study i read demonstrated.

The QB for New England won the MVP, and that was probably the right call.

Leaf report for JK... midseason

I take it you are starting to see a pattern when following the Leafs.  Period of high hopes, perhaps some overachieving... followed by some mediocre results and then the proverbial "18 wheeler off a cliff" section that wipes most of the hope for the season off the board.

You get the media all witty and negative and the talk turns to how to "blow up the team".    It's important to note that last time they blew up the team for the sake of blowing up the team they gave away Alex Steen, who seems to be a pretty decent player for the St. Louis Blues... cause they had to blow up the team... right. 

Always a tough spot for the management... pressure to make moves makes one easy prey when the frenzy comes.  Now there are a few players, if the right return were to come back, i would say do it... but you can't trade as a result of pressure.  Some say trade and bomb and get a chance to get one of the top upcoming prospects (which are very good this year), but i never understood this logic.  We are bombing just fine as we are... why risk changing a promising vector.  Simple physics right?

Now you have probably heard about this "jerseygate"... fool fans with more money to waste than brains to access.  First of all can we knock off this "gate" bullshit.  Watergate was a crime who's wake might have altered the course of America for the worse, not some chuckle head throwing a $300 hunk of blue polyester on the ice.  The real thing that i don't see mentioned a lot is that this time some idiot threw the jersey on the ice WHILE THE PLAY WAS GOING ON.  There is a big fucking difference between throwing a sweater (as we call it in Canada, unless you are in TO you call it a jersey for some reason) on the ice while the play is going on.  If you step on that while skating in the play you could get seriously hurt. Why our clever and alert media is not hammering that point is beyond me. 

A sweater is like a flag... it shouldn't touch the ground, so yes it is disrespectful.  But you can throw hats on the ice as part of a tradition if somebody were to score a hat trick... AFTER THE PLAY.   If you are in Detroit in a playoff game an octopus might end up on the ice... and that is a good omen apparently.  Clearly i don't have to sell Omens to you JK... you know what time it is.

Throwing a sweater on the ice is classless they say... people are always telling others that they have no class and it's this big insult.  Humanity has so much class right... use to mean you were perceived to be higher than somebody else and therefore had a greater worth in society and were allowed more social graces... now if you feel you have been wronged you tell your opponent that they lack class.

Lets face it; Humans are a classy civilization... we rape the planet that gives us life and stomp on the necks of those that try to get in the way.  People who's life work is to bring awareness to the dangers of the Planets declining ability to sustain life, are labelled terrorists by classy politicians who run commercials paid for by the people, all while espousing "working family values" in the commercials of HOCKEY GAMES.  Yes Yes, we had to get back to hockey sooner or later... right after the propaganda piece we need a couple of alpha male sportscasters standing in suits against glittering backdrops yelling over each other on the virtues of class and what Leaf player should be run out of town for a bag of pucks.

Sports to me is a "hometown" gig... Dad taught me that one.  When it was time for the Grey Cup, he would cheer for the team that was geographically the closest... unless of course it was a team in Quebec where the byline was that Quebec got more Federal tax money on account that they were threatening to separate which sort of put a burr in the side of the people in my parents generation generating an anti-Quebec sentiment, which was probably a well played hand by those leading the separatist movement.  Anyhoo, my point earlier was that the way they market the NHL now is that everybody in the family is free to cheer for their favourite team and of course they can watch all their games on their own viewing devices... which is kind of odd, because Hockey Night in Canada was what use to bring us together.  But since that swine bastard undermined the CBC cutting the funding so they they couldn't retain the rights (which will further impair them... good political move for sure) we have to put up with this glossy standing version where everybody can follow their favourite team.

I delivered Mail with a guy who grew up in Edmonton but was a  Calgary Flames fan... i asked him "How did that happen?"... he said my Dad was a Flames fan so you follow that... it made total sense to me.  What kind of a family pulls for different teams? Is that Classy? Maybe the NHL gets more money so they push that, but i would like to quote Burning Spear "My roots i never forget, i always remember the road i traveled"... cause that's class baby.

Champion Robertson

This is a News Story in whatever the hell era we live in now a days.   The numerous insanities rain down like anvils in a 70's cartoon episode... but that was violent... we can't have violent cartoons... our kids might grow up to be idiots.   Is it too late?

Basically the news story is saying a stupid idea is failing because people are getting wise to that kind of stupid, so we have to change the way we deliver stupid.  It say's people are tired of seeing some lying jackass in a suit and briefcase push some cause that will put the public in great peril.  Remember this is a big PR firm hired to SELL THE IDEA THAT A OIL PIPELINE IS A GOOD THING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO MAY ONE DAY NEED TO LIVE OFF THE LAND THAT IS BEING DESTROYED FOR SHORT TERM GAIN FOR A FEW.

Right the NEWS STORY is how some big PR firm is going to win the hearts of the citizens.  Basically saying THIS IS HOW WE SHALL DUPE THE SHEEPLE.

First background checks on those who oppose you... well of course it is a "campaign-style approach"... perhaps if you can dig up something on somebody that liked a facebook page you could extrapolate that into a big story on how opponents to your great "family values" cause tend to be serial criminals.

The PR firm believes that there needs to be a "perpetual campaign to protect and enhance the value of their pipeline".  You start to wonder if the taxpayers will be on the hook for any of this "perpetual campaign"?

Then you get the usual nonsense where they use the "three pronged approach" card... you know promote your angle, attack the opposition and then hire some shills to message on your behalf.

The real killer here is the "targeted messaging" section... this is where they will track citizens online behaviors and lead them to their individualized "trigger points" with the ultimate goal of turning them into activists, and then of course "champions".  These people will then be willing to testify during hearings, or share their personal stories for various advertising campaigns.  Believe it or not 50 people have already given "on camera" testimonials to this cause that a PR firm got them excited about by pushing their buttons.

You would think it would be amazing that a news story like this could exist, but these types of things are very common... hell it's on the CBC a bunch of left wing pinko's always trying to throw dirt in the wheels of progress.  You can probably safely bet that anybody who reads the whole article, and understand it for what it is, is not the kind of citizen that the PR firm is targeting to turn into an activist and then champion... we need more buzz words around here!

It is terribly disturbing however to see that beyond a shadow of a doubt, wright or wrong, for good or ill, companies will do whatever it takes to push their financial interests.  It's just a game and this is how we will win it... on a dead planet, money will be moot.

Maybe I'll just call myself Champion Robertson and skip on the button pushing and lending my person for an advertising campaign... yes yes that is much more sane, and you know I'm right.

Leaf report... for JK

Here we go again... another Toronto Maple Leaf hockey season is upon us, and the obvious question is...  do we have faith?  Well hey faith was made to be broken, so as per usual I'm all in.

I believe i can say with a very sane mind that this team is one of the better ones in recent memory...  not that any Leaf teams in recent memory have set the record books on fire (in a good way), but i like the direction.

A young team gets a bit older, but yet there are decent prospects in the pipe, for the first time in ages there was no overpriced free agent "savior" signing in the off season, only a few decent players with hockey sense and possible upside.

We know that former Leaf Leo Komarov will hit every body in sight, and former Leaf Matt Frattin will do the same and has speed to burn... Mike Santorelli has put up good numbers and i thought had a great season in a disastrous Vancouver Canucks campaign last year.  Daniel Winnik comes from a winning team where he played 76 games, put up 30 points and took only 23 penalty minutes... and he is from Toronto.  It could be that the Leafs 3rd and 4th lines can play hockey and compete with other NHL opponents rather than take a shift here and there to try and intimidate the opponents.  This could be huge... perhaps a line like those could play in the opposing teams end of the ice and wear them down a bit to give some space for the more offensive players.  Remember that scoring goals has not really been a problem for the Leafs, rather the fact that they get scored on more often.  It will be interesting to see what the smaller "spark plug" player Brandon Kozun will bring... he is 24, seems to possess a high hockey IQ,  has speed and skill.  Sometimes smaller players who get overlooked because of their size but have the heart of a lion, can prove to be great assets (see Martin St. Louis).

The absence of a pure enforcer currently on the NHL roster is an intriguing move, and one that might pay dividends... perhaps the Leafs will try to beat the opposition by playing hockey... one can only hope.

Of course as we mentioned before, the Leafs problem has been keeping the puck out of their own net with their patented "fire drill" defensive strategy.  Hopefully the new forwards can help bring a hockey sense supporting roll to getting the puck out of their own end... but what about the defense?

Well Jake Gardiner and Morgan Rielly are a year older, and hey they are dynamite players, perhaps with some proper support they will be able to shine further.  Roman Polak comes from one of the better defensive teams (St, Louis), so at least he has had some experience playing in a successful defensive system.  What about the veteran Stephane Robidas? Perhaps a risk signing given he is 37 years old and coming off 2 bad leg fractures, but i believe his experience, competitive spirit and game smarts are just what the Leafs need if they want to try to turn the way they play defensively around.

Of course it is Toronto and the first mistake made by a player will be front page news, which makes it harder to shake a monkey Omen like that.  If the captain and best player of the Nashville Predators makes a mistake in a game the world goes on, and if Jake Gardiner makes a mistake there will be poles in news stories on how soon should he be traded...  And idiot readers will take the pole and leave their ass brained comments at the bottom of the article under some anonymous name... cause that's how we do it in Toronto.  Remember this is the city that elected Rob Ford, a known partisan buffoon who claimed cyclists who got killed "had it coming" for using roads, and then opposed bike routes, and then got elected.

But i did make a grilled cheese sandwich and one could clearly see the image of the great Johnny Bower making a scintillating save... i was going to put it up on ebay but i was kind of hungry and i realized that if i ate it it might give me the power to "will" the team on to victory this year.  Never take signs that come to you in the form of a grilled sandwich lightly.

This year of course the Leafs are using advanced statistics... it is the way of sports these days and you have to think of the old adage "if you can't beat them then join them".  Hey when a certain player is on the ice our team has the puck a lot more of the time... this is a good thing right?  Sometimes there are blind spots where you like a player, and are blinded to their weakness... but the fact's don't lie.

Say you were a partisan political coach and you believed evolution was a crock, and invading countries to secure Oil was God's work, and in no way was capitalism and industrialization responsible for the decimation of the planet and all those pinko tree huggers are a negative drain on progress.  And say half your team believed that and the other half thought you were a brain dead bigoted loon.   Well you might end up liking the players that shared your views and disliking the ones that didn't (that's how humans work), so perhaps you give more ice time to the players you like and less to those you don't... now perhaps the players that you are playing are not the best for winning hockey games, but you want them to do better so they can make more money to reward them for their belief system.  In your press scrums you sight all kinds of remote bible passages that show that your decisions were the ones that needed to be made and you challenge any opposition to your plan as a terrible unpatriotic bias.

The along comes the stats, that show the players you are choosing for certain situations are not the ones that are yielding the best results... what do you do?  Well i guess if you are a partisan political coach then you immediately challenge scientific method as a biased and erratic measuring stick, run commercials espousing "family values" and eliminate scientific funding... but alas you get the point.

For the record i like Randy Carlyle as a Coach, and in no way am i trying to say he is a partisan political coach... i just pulled an incredibly extreme and hyper hypothetical scenario out of my ass to try and make a point about the value of having a quantitative statistic on players value and considering it in your assessment of how the team plays. Obviously you need gut feelings and the opportunities to allow players to play through slumps and such, but the data doesn't lie... unless you can hire the stats keepers who have no data gathering experience, don't believe in it and just fudge the numbers (it would be like a stepping stone job to minister of finance).

But seriously, lets dream about the best case scenario... dreams should be fun right?
The JVR, Bozak and Kessel line continues to put up "world class" numbers, and the 2nd line of Lupul, Kadri, and Kozun gets even hotter glowing like a Blacksmith's poker in a kiln fire. Now should we have the 3rd line scoring every shift and the 4th line come out and rather than drop the puck the ref just throws it in the opposition net to save time on the clock... It's probably not going to happen like that, but remember we are in the dream part of the story.  It's really not a good dream, because the real excitement comes winning close fought games where big plays are made at both ends of the ice.

Lets get er going...


Projected line up for opening night given injuries and such.

Forwards

James van Riemsdyk -Tyler Bozak - Phil Kessel
Joffrey Lupul - Nazem Kadri - Brandon Kozun
Leo Komarov - Mike Santorelli - David Clarkson
Daniel Winnik - Peter Holland - Matt Frattin


Defenceman

Dion Phaneuf - Stephane Robidas
Jake Gardiner - Roman Polak
Morgan Rielly - Stuart Percy



Golatenders

Jonathan Bernier
James Reimer

 

And so you know i wasn't making up the bit about Johnny Bower making a big save on my Grilled Cheese... don't want anybody to think I'm crazy.

What is cute?

The Yellow Garden spider (Argiope aurantia) was the one that patrolled my fathers garden back in Toronto Canada.  It was a mean looking spider that would bite if disturbed... now i don't ever remember being bitten but i was warned, and knowing that it could was enough for me.  I was also taught that this spider is a great ally for the garden for it's ability to remove pests.

Now there were also a lot of grasshoppers in Toronto... my friend Tom and I called them "clings" because when you caught them they would cling to you and as a defense mechanism would release (or spit) what we called brown junk... seriously. 

One of our favorite pastimes back in those summer days was to catch a grasshopper and throw it into a spider web... it was a grand old time to see the grasshopper struggle in the web and get wrapped up in silk and then bitten causing a final kicking of the leg.  Dad thought that was great too, nature in action, kids on pest control... a good thing for sure. You know grasshoppers are locusts right? They also have ears on their bellies if you want to get into bizarre facts, but the fact is they are garden and plant pests and a wise gardener takes these threats seriously.   So if you are thinking it's mean and evil to kill garden pests then you should go read another blog... back in those days people would douse their gardens with insecticides killing all kinds of beneficial insects and essentially poisoning their food... but they didn't actually kill anything physically with their hands or their feet so in some way were absolved (in their head) of killing.  Most farming now is done on an industrial level and incredible resources go into pest control often at the cost of sustainibility and overall environmental health.  So the person who spends their time physically culling pests is in some way really doing it right.

I learned a lot of things from Dad, some of them i have unlearned, others i have adapted but a staunch opposition to garden pests is one i keep close to my heart.  I was once asked how i could kill slugs by a person who then went and put slug bait killer in her garden.

As you can imagine we had some pretty enormous Yellow Spiders in the garden fed on a steady diet of clings. Kind of a weird thing to have a healthy population of large spiders that bite and then your father sends you out to pick beans for dinner... carefully you move around the garden your hands disturbing the beans to reach under to where the bounty lies... will there be any surprises?

Now there is a serious pest in our neighborhood... a little ass hole squirrel with a stubby tail that just reeks havoc on the local food producing plants.  This bastard will go into a fruit tree grab a fruit, and taker a bite and then drop it on the ground and then grab another fruit and do it again.  It will eat beets and chard and chew new growth off of blueberry plants, but some of the locals think it is fucking cute.  I want that thing dead, but i kind of made a deal that if somebody stopped feeding the squirrels peanuts then i would stop counterattacking.   And in fairness the peanut feeding has stopped and this has made a huge difference to the squirrel's annoying factor.

Anyhoo out in my front yard the bastard started to build a nest in our tree... this cannot happen, so i did what any sane person would do and grab a long bamboo pole, climb the tree and poked that fucking nest down.  I made sure to do it before there were young in the nest as i can just imagine the horror of one of the squirrel friendly neighbors coming by and seeing little baby squirrels hitting the ground like hackey sac's and then looking up to see old man Robertson poking the nest with a long pole.  I though i was being fair.. the nest goes up, the nest comes down, and the squirrel finds a better spot learning that this spot is a very bad spot indeed.  No way does the bastard that ate all of my plums get to have a "safe" home in the view of my relaxing porch... that would be like giving a terrorist an apartment in the Bronx... insane. 

But they are cute and furry and people like them and will defend them to the hilt.  Now I'm sure if a person went into somebodies yard and fucked up their fruit tree there would be a full on hate for that person, i guess the lesson is do it in a squirrel suit and you will be OK. 

I remember at our cottage we had a bluebird nesting box and a family of tree swallows nested it it... it was great watching them until a red squirrel climbed up there and chewed the entrance hole bigger, destroying the nesting box and then ate the birds...  real cute.

Toilet humor

Well the night started off with a trip to the local Home Depo to return a toilet paper roll holder i had bought earlier.  I managed to fix the old one after closer inspection but not before a quick impulse purchase where i thought i was "doing things".

You see i meant to look for fire mortar, but again my brain remembered something, and that was that we were out of toilet paper.  Home Depo has toilet paper but  i know where i can get it cheaper, and I'm not really the kind of person who thinks "well I'm here now, I'll just pay this"... No no, i have already justified the gas it took me to get there and my alternative route home that will put me by the place that sells cheaper toilet paper.

So i leave the store after eyeballing a few tools and forgetting about the fire mortar...  So i get to my other large store and grab my toilet paper... the big ass 36 double roll all wrapped in enough plastic to kill a small marine colony ( i do recycle it thanks to New Seasons).

So I'm walking around the store with a big ass pile of toilet paper under my arm and i kind of remember a few people i know who feel uncomfortable buying toilet paper in public.  So i do what we all do in that circumstance, and that is of course go into a dream sequence where you are doing a stand up comedy routine on the subject... "you know some people get embarrassed about buying toilet paper... what's up with that?  you know if somebody were to see me carrying toilet paper and they are looking at me... what are they thinking... Is it, this guy cares about having a clean ass?  If that's the case I'm OK with that..." It's different in a dream sequence because in the dream sequence you are always really funny and the comedy club is at capacity and they are laughing and you are on a roll... next thing you know your eye catches a blowout sale on ice cream bars.

The kids will like the ice cream bars after a hot day of school... and then i remember the kids lunches.  They made their lunch for tomorrow and we are short on fruit, and also the neighbour down the street gave us some Italian Prune plums the other day and the kids loved them.  A nice plum in the lunch would be a great thing i think to myself.  So i get some apples (honey crisp) and i see braeburn and gala apples and i chuckle to myself about a song i wrote called Robertson's dream orchard, and then i look for the plums... and i can't find them.  There i am pacing up and down the plum isle  with the biggest load of toilet paper a man can get.  Luckily there are 3 people stocking produce so i ask one guy "do you have any prune plumbs"... "Prune Plumb?  What's that?" he said.  Now my first reaction is a little shock... how could you work in produce in plum season and not know what a prune plum is?  But i say with clarity "Italian prune plum a little purple plum shaped like a little football"... hint: when talking to Americans, if you can work in a football analogy you might get somewhere.  "Prune plum" he said loudly and we go back over the plums and each plum pointed out to me is not a prune plum, so he asks a lady stocking peaches... "prune plum!" she exclaims... by this time a small crowd is gathering.  Oh maybe in Organics... alas i think perhaps we are getting somewhere, but no there are no prune plumbs in the store... only me with the equivalent of 72 rolls of toilet paper and 3 store employees yelling "prune plum"! The one yells "do you need some prunes!"  It is around this time I realize that beyond a shadow of a doubt i have become the main attraction in this part of the store and even a kind older lady quietly tells me where the Metamucil is stocked in another part of the store.   "Are you sure these big purple plums won't work for you?" the first guy asks... "No thank you, the Damson plumbs are not the kind of plumbs my children would like in their lunch" i reply trying to salvage what bit of dignity i may have left at this point.

Anyway i saved money.

economic thoughts

Just watched some economists argue over "what is good for the middle class consumer"... old tax cuts, inflation, union bashing, free market baloney we are use to.  An elaborate finger pointing scheme where everybody is their own worst enemy.  Textbook economic solutions to emotional and human problems.

Now I'm no economist, but I've done alright and i think one of the keys to my success has been a staunch refusal to be a consumer.  Funny how in the news story photo they have some rube in one of those big stores that sells everything and they have a big cart full of plastic and Styrofoam and some things edible and the headline runs to the effect "price of goods going skyward". 

To me, accepting that level of consumerism is just insane in the first place, so arguing over how to keep this status quo is a point not worth making in my non humble opinion.  It's a shame that nobody would ever get hired, or elected with the idea that economic growth itself could be the problem.  Rather than arguing over how to keep people, who are referred to as consumers, able to keep purchasing plastic garbage at a rate suitable to expand "growth", shouldn't we be seriously rethinking the source of the problem.

This is crazy talk of course, but crazy is the new sane... haven't you heard.  I think there was a social media thing people were sharing and i expect it to make a difference.  It's like the voters choice doesn't coincide, electing business is always suicide, status quo knows, sad suckers stand in sympathy.

It's kind of like were all just losing our minds, as if serendipity came calling, I'm like you and your like me, can we live together.

OK enough with the song lyrics, but you know there is a point there... clearly humanity is not going to come to it's collective senses.

So what to do? Time to start following Superenomics... don't be a chump when it comes to spending your money.  Chump fools whine when they are broke... they don't see the wheel has a spoke.  They are observers of nothing and students of none.  They set out to see, but they do not see what they need to see.  Think about it in terms of a board game... you want to finish the game in a good state... you don't want to be mauled mid game by the debt avenging society.  I must state, if you think that the government will be there to help you in a time of crisis, you thought process needs to be re-examined.

For me it's all about living within my means with the focus on a secure tomorrow... kind of sounds like a good conservative election press release.  Of course the only person you can trust for your  good is yourself.   That's what an MBA in the Music Industry taught me... MBA standing for Me Being Awesome as the Music Industry insists upon.  The Music industry would have you climb a flag pole in a jackass suit on patriot day to get some press to sell some records, and then charge you for the stunt.  Sorry, didn't mean to get off on a tangent, even though it was marginally relevant to our little discussion here.  Discussion or man with a drinking problem sending his thoughts into cyberspace... i can live with either... i don't need to be important to the world, it might actually cramp my style, and these cold IPA's are singing my tune.

But seriously, don't be a moron with your money... you money is your security.  Squirrel it away rather than waste it on things you don't really need.  In time you may find yourself on the right side of the interest equation and when you are older and not able to do the work you can do now, it will pay plenty dividends.  Did i just use "squirrel" as a positive? I would delete that but it's kind of funny for some... right?

OK, seriously i want to help you... I'm a 44 year old civil servant/ child caregiver/ artist with a dozen albums, who is living the good life.  Did i mention i still don't have a cell phone, or is it called a smart phone, cause i can't really afford it... i drive wife and 3 kids camping in a Toyota matrix... we need a bigger vehicle but we can't afford it... so we do without.  It's that line you need to be able to walk... what is really important.  It's so easy in life to think you really need something... but what you really need is freedom.. freedom from bills that just keep piling up.  When you relate to yourself as a consumer, clearly you think of somebody who consumes goods before the person.

I can't tell you how many times when i was young (20's) and making music how many people i knew where buying gear the couldn't afford thinking it would push them over the top.  I caught a break in that our drummer worked at a studio and we got free time, and although I'm happy how things turned out i can't help but think that the other option was the 4-track, which in our case might have been more productive.  If you are in a band then learn to play great and learn to record great before you start spending your money.   That said, spend the money on a good engineer when you are ready... that money is better than any pedal or amp can buy.  The proper team with efficient operation should be able to make a decent record in a few weekends for about 5 grand.  If you are in a band that can't raise 5 grand then don't do it.

Funny how the points around here always come back to band dynamics... but this is part of our economy lesson.  It's like buying a house to live in, not one that you think will gain value... maybe it will maybe it won't, but is your living good?  Common economic policy is to buy the worst house on the best street, but then you walk home to that house every day of you life... why not for cheaper buy the best house in an average neighbourhod?  Then you come home every day to your nice house and your neighbours are less money grubbing maniacs. 

In my life experience,  i have found living with poor people far more gratifying than living with rich people... mind you i currently live among the dwindling middle class.  Poor people can have fun with very little where i find rich people have a deficit in that decree.  Poor people throw fun potlucks where you learn things about cooking... rich people have catered parties and comment on the catering service.

Sometimes i dream about being rich... driving around in my Toyota Tacoma collecting free firewood... wait a minute, a rich man would have his firewood chopped and delivered.  But if i were rich would i want to rob myself of the action of chopping my own firewood?  Perhaps i could send a text message to a fire wood delivery guy because i could afford a smart phone... being rich and all.


Even in my dreams of being rich I do most of the work... it comes from the idea that if you want something done right then do it yourself.   I think an important component of life is that ability... and when the shit hits the fan, as it will i believe, that skill will pay in spades.

Rules of Supereconomics:

1) a dollar you save today will be worth more in the future
2) fuck with telemarketers
3) own your identity
4) free fun is always better than paid fun
5) if somebody comes to your door try to sell them an album
6) don't buy what you don't really need
7) be fluid
8) grow your own food
9) become proficient at fixing things
10) don't be a sucker
11) never feel bad for yourself
12) rest is better than work... understand that for all it means
13) 13 is an unlucky number to superstitious fools
14) the list is too long for an internet conversion

like old times

I remember when i use to write blogs about nothing... what was i going to say... i don't know, i guess i would figure it out after a few pecks.   Pecks of course was a shot at my typing ability.  I had a band and a website that i thought needed content for some reason... it's one of the few things i had right in the music business... keep something going to bring people back to the website so you can sell sell sell.  Of course we couldn't sell things on the site back then, you couldn't even put music on the site or video back then.  You could put a link to your MP3.com site of your CBC ZED site and hope for the best.  I also wanted to learn how to write, and the way i learn things is by doing them.  No doubt i was literacy impaired at the time, significantly more than i am at this point in my life, and i took some heat but it didn't really matter to me, because i knew i had to get better.  As much as i was doing right by adding content i was doing wrong by exposing weakness, but i have never been one for business models.

I hate business models because they focus on monetary profit often at the cost of the long term health of the system.  And since the system is me and i value my health over my fame or my bottom line financially it was an easy choice.  Music and art is a therapy and hobby and a chance to connect with other "like" or not "like" minded people.  I got a steady day job before ever venturing into the "game" and saved my money so i didn't have to be molded into something i was not in order to survive.  Perhaps that was a mistake and maybe the idea was to go "all in" and figure out a way to win at "the game".  I was just never much of a gambler, and i liked eating and sleeping in warm clean beds, and i could even argue that i was in a position to "gamble" more on stage because i could afford to lose... if you know what i mean. 

There is a guy who has sold a lot of records who came to some of my shows and enjoyed them immensely telling me "i love watching you because you can do what i can't".  I can live with that.  In some ways i kind of feel sorry for people trapped by their success... the mind can be a big place if the imagination is free, but if the imagination has an accountant putting up walls finding "sweet spots" i can see how that might be frustrating.

Competition is a weird thing in the "music community", and yes i scoff at that statement... every music scene is like a replay of Lord of the Flies.  The margin for success is so thin that you need every advantage, people do it without even knowing they are doing it.

I have been on serious music scene hiatus for a couple and a half years... now just an observer of things, releasing songs quietly from time to time, but more interested in watching things from afar.  I lack nothing in life essentials and really on a financial scale i am rather well off, but i do long to make a difference in the world through art.  Am i foolish enough to think that might happen?  Of course I am.  As unrealistic of a goal that is i will continue... now i won't sacrifice my well being or the well being of my family to make a  "serious run at it"... but then again what is a "serious run at it"?  There is art and there is the marketing of art... these are two different things.  What if i told you i wrote and recorded a ball stomping anti war anthem, but it stopped no wars and made no profit... is it still a ball stomping anti war anthem?

So it stopped no wars and made no money and made no difference and wasn't heard... does that mean you should stop doing it?  The business model would say yes but the fire that drives the artist would say no.  What one do you listen to?  I guess it depends on what raft you jumped on at the head of the river.   My path is sealed... i choose to enjoy my music experience and not die under the weight of it's economic failure.  It is the making of the music i enjoy, dialing the words just right... feeling the groove and running with it without the fear of failure.

Let's be honest, i have failed on some small levels, i have released thing that shouldn't have been released, but i needed to do that to truly understand why.  Sometimes in life you are in situations that are the sum of a great many equations and the math just doesn't add up and you can choose to fold of put the cards on the table and take the heat.  I come from a family of perfectionists and i grew up seeing the error of the perfectionist way... i probably went too far the other way with a mind to keep the ball rolling.  Everybody has their way, and I'm stuck in mine so this is the way it will go.  I like the analogy of the inventor who fails a thousand times before he is successful over the person who completes little for fear that it is not perfect. 

When i look back on all of the songs and the records i think of the song "with a broken hand" which was a 4-track song that had me on piano (that i can't really play) with my hand in a cast (due to hockey injury).  The song was recorded on the fly in an hour lyrics were written while bass was laid down... a nice little number where perfection was not the goal but rather getting it done was the answer.  Sometimes i listen to that song and think with the wrong mindset that song could have been deleted from existence.  I like the tune, and for me when i hear it i remember the moment in time and the feeling of what we thought we were doing... it's not a thing that commercial success or lack thereof can take from me because i am invested in the moment and not the critical or popular view of the product. 

One thing now i practice now is compassion for famous people... it is so easy to hate and judge them and to ridicule the things that they do.  The things they do are conditioned responses to market forces or insane outbursts caused mostly by the cages they are locked into.  Of course i am a famous person myself... just on a smaller scale.   Try being the only beard man at the baby group filled with grandmothers and nannies... maybe not fame but just that guy.

Ben Johnson, disgraced Canadian sprinter, to be part of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s re-election campaign. Like an Arrested Development episode

I mean I liked Ben Johnson, in a way that you like a guy in that you feel sorry for him because everybody cheated but he was the only one that got caught and paid dearly.  He was disgraced while others were heroes, but he was the one that ran 100 meters in 9.79 seconds.  They were on drugs too, but they couldn't beat that time, but hey when you are a Canadian you get to the back of the line.

So Ben Johnson cheated (like most others in the field), got caught, lied, continued to lie and became "disgraced".  He could run like the wind, but intelligence perhaps wasn't his strongest suit. 

He has now joined Rob Ford's re-election campaign.

That half sentence has to be a paragraph of it's own given the pure insanity of it's merit. I was in a grade one class making up a song about a fat cat siting on things and smashing them down while a tone deaf kid added a whistling solo through the whole song, and that paragraph is the most bat shit crazy thing i have heard in a long time.

So a mayor who gets caught using illegal drugs and repeatedly lies about it, and then comes clean when the evidence is too overwhelming, has taken on to his campaign team one of the most famous drug cheats (who repeatedly lied about it until coming clean far too late for respectability).  It's so crazy it just might work?   The old 180 degree logic...  and hey people like Ben Johnson, and many feel he was unfairly treated.


Check this:

In 2008- Disgraced Olympic sprinter Ben Johnson planed to sue his former lawyer's estate for $37 million, alleging that Edward Futerman took advantage of his "diminished mental capacities"
The lawsuit contends attorney Ed Futterman took advantage of Johnson. The suit also contends Johnson was incapable of understanding complex legal documents. Johnson’s own lawsuit contends, psychiatric experts concluded in 1989 that “there is overwhelming evidence that Mr. Johnson is intellectually retarded.”

Believe it or not the case was thrown out of court. 

Clearly always good to fill the campaign team with people previously declared as "intellectually retarded".  It's not like politics is a blood sport that relies on deft cunning, attacking perceived weaknesses, even creating them if need be, right.  That's where the person with diminished mental capabilities comes in to "right" the campaign team.  People will be looking at their T.V's thinking Rob Ford looked really intelligent next to that famous drug cheat... i think I'll vote for him.

I feel bad, I don't want to stomp on Ben Johnson, i guess  he needs money, and Rob Ford has money, so you get hired on to do an event and use your celebrity to get some attention.  That has to be it right?  I guess you can do the Rob Ford gig and if somebody gives you a hassle you can play the "diminished mental capacity" card.

But does intelligence matter in politics anymore?  There is no point answering that question... because the answer is depressing and enraging at the same time. It's the human condition where people can be highly intelligent and capable of amazing thing but together we are dumb as a post.

If you were writing a comedy sketch and you were doing the Rob Ford re election campaign, Ben Johnson would be the person you would put on his campaign team.  The person who is most famous for the traits you have that you are trying to dismiss as something that happened in the past and is over.  I could be wrong.. i see irony, a thick slab of it, but perhaps others will see an "average" and "likeable" guy who made an honest mistake and carried on to do good.  Which is absolute gibberish of course, but who gives a shit... if you can get elected. 

76 Game Leaf report... For JK

Egad, wold be a fine one word report, perhaps with the d backwards and the fresh ink smudged across the paper.  But that would be high art, and we are in the business of sports reporting... maybe not even in the business at all, perhaps change the word "maybe" and replace it with a word more absolute  towards the idea of NOT.

Obviously i am hesitant to dagger my team... there are many that could be easily buried with words that aren't kind.  But i digress, there is pain enough in this latest "epic collapse" that there are plenty of daggers already stabbed into this lifeless corpse, and few more from me aren't going to help.  Not only that.. it's important to stick with your team... bandwagons are for charlatans.

How do you turn it around Leafs?... it might be too late, but like the heroes in movies they always look done before they pull one out of the coals at the last second.

I suggest this.  Make the safe plays and get on the body.  The fancy stuff aint working so say to yourself "i will put the puck here and then remove the puck from my man".  Focus on that and not goal scoring or losing.  Wingers; every shift say to yourself "my point man does not get a chance to shoot the puck because he will not get the puck because i will and i will get it out and focus on that and only that.  Rather than thinking of winning or losing the game attack every battle... "my man will not get position".  Win a few battles and then get a streak going.  A shot on net is better than a risky pass so say to yourself "i will get this shot through" and your line mate will say "I will recover the rebound".   I will get the puck by sheer will and i will put it in a good spot and if i have to take it back i will.

Seems simple right.. that's why you play the games.  Don't be afraid to lose because you are playing a game of battles with a new chance to win every play.  Use your speed skate the puck but when closed in on make sure the puck gets somewhere safe and you know your team mates are ready to compete to get to that safe puck.

You might not win, but you might not be defeated.

SR

the way i see it today...

I played music in a bar the other night, something that on some levels i am against, and most of those levels have to do with respecting your music.  It's a long knotty one that can be dealt with in another blog, or perhaps has been dealt with in another blog over a long period.  To each their own, but the big problem comes with ridiculous views on what various people look to get out of it.  I am at peace with my participation in the game, and truth be told i had a good time, played pretty well and enjoyed all that was played by all involved, but i got more out of it than that.

You see i got into a good alpha predator discussion with the good doctor down the street and we talked about how goats have large tufts of fur on their neck and the evolutionary idea behind this is that a wolf, or wolf like predator might just come up with a mouth full of fur instead of a bite to the neck.  I found this  a spectacular and relevant insight to my current internal debate over whether or not to shave off my king hell sideburns for an upcoming tropical vacation that will have me snorkeling in shark infested reefs.  Clearly beyond any reasonable doubt a body in the ocean with massive pro sideburns has a clear survival advantage in the event of a shark attack using the goat model.  Not only will i be looking good but i will be applying evolutionary tested defense mechanisms... can you hashtag #doublewinning yes, i think you can.

And the day before i had another great side burn victory... you see i was @ the local Trader Joe's with two of my daughters who have the unfortunate attitude that big sideburns look really bad.  As i got to the checkout i was greeted by a young and eager beardman, who immediately complimented my sideburns and inquired about their evolution.  He then turned to my daughters and pointed out how pro i was looking... they kind of recoiled but hung in there looking for treats.  Now i had bought some beer and wine and the man asked to see some ID, as i believe they are cracking down... clearly i am old enough, but you know they probably had a store meeting telling them to ID everybody... i understand, and told the young beard man it's kind of flattering, to which he replied the sideburns are kind of a give away, to which i replied the 1969 should do it as well and handed him my ID.  Now my drivers license has me in a massive handlebar moustache, which floored the young man and he said "well you are just total pro all the way", and then for sport i started flinging him all my other ID's that happen to catch me sporting all forms of aggressive facial hair growth... he was blown away and started bowing to me which caused all kinds of confusion for my daughters who later described him as a not smart guy with one of them bushy beards that was combed parted in the moustache region and you couldn't see his lips only him gums.  It didn't matter we got ice cream and i scored  a fairly large victory.

This morning i went into a grade one class and engaged the kids musically for a half an hour... it went really well, but it will go better next time.  We wrote a song about their teacher and what they like to do in class, and we did some call and response songs, some action songs and we did some mouth trumpet solos.  My big mistake was asking kids to shout out ideas for song parts... i mean it's a good idea, but when you ask 34 kids to call out ideas you get more ideas that you can deal with and they don't stop coming.  For example, if you are doing a song and you need the name of an animal to cue the direction of then next verse the smart play is to pick somebody who's hand is in the air and let that kid and that kid only give the answer, rather than the way i set it up which was a ill timed free for all.  It's OK, you have to like the enthusiasm, as the leader you need to keep your hand on the valve that controls the flow of ideas.  I think we made great progress and i look forward to going back in two weeks to further work on our song titled "Mr. O", and play some other interactive numbers.

Another thing that came out of the bar gig was that i played the song "Cesar Chavez" a song i wrote about the man who has the street named after him and a teacher was in the audience who worked with Mexican children and she was wondering if i would like to come into the class and play that song.  Of course i would be glad to and suggested perhaps we could work to translate the song into Spanish as a language exercise for all.  That idea seemed to go over pretty good and entered into the concept of right brained learning, which a certain school is looking at furthering.  This is all good stuff, as a maker of music, who tries to make music that is important, there is no better feeling than having the music hit home and make a difference to somebody, but of course following the music industry model the game is about gaining and maintaining popularity with things that really make no sense when you look at them with an unbiased eye. In the future i shall try to engage children through music for the purpose of fun, confidence building and learning without concern for financial gain for myself.  Now truth be told the last time i came out of retirement i did it with the idea that i would not try to make money with music as i felt that cheapened the experience for myself.  I never minded working hard so i always went to work, took care of my kids myself, had good wife to share fair duties and did music because i know it is important for my sanity and a chance to express my views.

I feel i have written many relevant and good songs about political injustice, protest apathy, environmental destruction, hockey, self awareness... yada yada, and on the grand scale i really don't think that any of the songs have had their voice heard to the point where they ever came close to having an impact on the society i care about creating due to the fact that i wasn't a good promoter to get the songs into the ears of those whom they could positively influence, as songs can do.

I'll give you an example... I wrote the song When the money's gone last year a song i have been thinking about writing for many years:

Beside a tailing pond, a businessman sings the same old song
We got to destroy this place and move forward to win the race

Oh when the money's gone, can you catch fish in a poison pond?
Oh when the money's gone, do we look like the moon?

The words of a well written lie, the future Prime Minister did deny
Things that we put in the air, could ever harm anyone anywhere

Oh when the money's gone, can you grow food by a poison pond?
Oh when the money's gone, do we look like the moon?

A mighty enterprise fails, all you citizens get out your bails
We got to stick together, they'll flog the mules and then sell the leather

Oh when the money's gone, can you drink from a poison pond?
Oh when the money's gone, do we look like the moon?
Oh when the money's gone, do we breath the stench that lingers on?
Oh when the money's gone, do we look like the moon?

It is an important song, i think and i put it out there in hopes to bring discussion out of the obvious folly of the Tar Sands development.  Now it's not like i am the only person in the world who didn't see this glaring error, but my hope was to get a point across... the point is i don't have the star power to make points like these and have an affect.  That's why we have Neil Young, bless his wonderful soul, and all the power too him, he is using his star to make that exact point and a few others right now. Even he admitted he was late to the dance on Q the other week, and he is... we all are... too much damage has been done already for the sake of international corporate profit. But then again "nothing is heard".

I love Neil Young and i wish i was there with him singing my song, because i think it fits, not because i want fame, but that ain't gonna happen and that's OK.  He is doing the work, and taking the attacks on his character by the government and the industry lobby, but he can take it, cause he has the truth on his side, and he doesn't care what people think of him.  I get that, I'm just a jackass in a bar with a guitar playing songs nobody wants to hear.  Now i say this with all seriousness looking for no sympathy at all... yes i wish my music could make a difference, but really I'm not in that position, and in truth the position i am in in life is a pretty good one, and perhaps i can make a difference after all.  I have the power to go into a school and share the gift of music with a group of youngsters who may need somebody to do that for them.  I can live with that, and in the meantime i can keep cataloguing the protest songs just in case.

I had a great idea for an Internet meme the other day, and i think i might just do it, because i think it is really funny, we will have to see if i can get some co-operators to do it.  I think Kevin Smith will be highly amused if i can pull it off, but i won't tell you what it is as to spoil the comedy, and that's all it is, it's just funny.  Which means many will be offended if i can pull it off... it is that weird thing for it to work you need it to become viral which relies on more factors than the idea itself, but i have always believed that just because an idea isn't popular it doesn't mean it is not worth doing.  There is a real double edged sword there for one to fall on... doing things you think people might like rather than doing the things you feel are right, and having fun with it of course.